Diary of a BOTTer - I have lost my mind!

Hey Everyone 

I am working today and since I missed the last two days thought I would get caught up.  I really think I have lost my mind    Once this week I posted it was Weds and it was Tues.  A fellow member pointed out I was typing Dairy (moo moo) instead of Diary, thank you for pointing that out!!!    I really do feel that I am in the middle of a tornado and everything is swirling around me.  I have been posting about my lack of focus and this really seems to be my issue with not staying on track.

I also have been having some talks with myself and find I need to stop being what we call in Coaching a fixer.  I want everyone to be happy, I want life to be perfect for everyone and unrealistically try very hard to do all these things for everyone.  Of course I get lost in the process and when I can't meet these unrealistic expectations I feel like a failure and man it's exhausting. 

When I was getting ready for my surgery I had 6 months of counseling and found at that time my main issue was emotional eating.  I have worked very hard to over come this and have made great strides.  I think what is a good thing about us long timers is we find it's layered issues (our eating) and the longer we are on this journey we learn how to conquer all of our issues one by one.

My game plan?  The next two weeks will be  short weeks for me and I am going to get rested physically and mentally.  My son has shared with me he hopes to be engage by summer.  So baby if that is not an incentive to get back on track and get in shape (my only son's wedding) then nothing is.

Thanks everyone for being here and I love my BOTT family 

Take care,
Kathy

I'm working today too...I'm sitting on a conference call, trying to see if we can finish up by noon.

I, too, am a fixer...I have two stepdaughters with 5 kids between them (different daddies for each one) that live off welfare and cannot manage money to save their lives.  Everything is a crisis - and no matter how much we do for them, it's never enough.

Part of me wants to say STOP THE MADNESS.  My own children are grown, college educated, good jobs...on their own...not married, no babies yet...  I can take helping now and then, but this constant crisis management is wearing...

Hi Janelle,

I hope you get out of there by noon.  Glad you are not on the east coast as  you would be digging out.  We only got an inch or two  

It's so exhausting and draining to be surrounded by disfunction all the time.  Then it's hard for us to be our best and in turn we are not any good to anyone.  I am going to talk to Cath and see if we can do some kind of support here next year to help deal with these issues.  They are important to our health, staying on track and our inner being as well.

Do something fun today but if you are like me you are going to be trying to get last min shopping done.  I have a few more bracelets to make and then rush to the post office..  

Hang in there my friend!!!

Take care,
Kathy

I just have a few questions. Is your own children from you and the father of your step children or a previous marriage? And when did the father of your step children leave them? Were they young? They could be in that boat because of this reason. Abandonment issues. Just saying

Hmmm...I'm a fixer too.  At home, at work with family....at work I am so busy because I worked my way into so many roles - fixing everyones problems!!  Sigh, yet I don't fix myself, or make time to fix myself.

Have a good rest Kathy.  That's exciting about your son. 

hugs, Ruth

We need to have a meeting and we start by saying "Hi, my name is Kathy and I am a fixer"!

 lol...i know, right?

Sometime us fixers don't realize that some seem to like being broke. Every time we do all we can, get them fixed and whatta you know?  Their broke again.  Got 18 grandchildren from just 2 sons.  I'm learning that their lives are not broken.  They are just the way they like it. 
Hope things work out for the rest of you fixers.

Z

Hey Z

you are so right!!

z...you hit it right on the head...