Getting back on track

Hello, I am new to BOTT and am so glad that sionnaingeal told me about this group. I was banded in December of 08 and have done pretty good up until the past few months. I got back into old bad habits and started snacking and ended up gaining back 11 pounds. I am very disappointed in myself because I know better. I got lazy and stopped exercising like I should. The funny thing is that I am a weight loss support group leader, how am I supposed to be a leader and motivating & encouraging people when I gain weight back and stop exercising? Your supposed to lead by example right?

Anyways, I went back to see my doctor Monday & got a small fill. I really didn't think I needed a fill because I was just eating the wrong foods, but the fill has been really helping me. I have lost 3 pounds since Monday and feel that I can get back on track.
 
Has anyone else ever been in this kind of situation before? How did you get motivated again and get going? I don't have much physical support, if that makes sense. It is only me and my 18 year old daughter. She is supportive, yet she is always wanting to stop & get fast food. She always complains that there is nothing good in the house to eat because she wants junk food. I have told her repeatedly that I cannot go to fast food places all the time. She has even told me that it will be weird having a normal size mom because she has always known me as overweight. She also told me that I will never be thinner than her., so I think she is just feeling abandoned???? I don't know, but thank-you for letting me vent!

Kristy

Hi Kristy!

I'm so glad to see you so soon! Thank you so much for taking the opprotunity to join BOTT. I promise, you won't be sorry!!

Now I know Happy's gunna say it far better than I can, but the one thing we have to admit is that we are human, things happen, we make mistakes and fall off the wagon. (sometimes the wagon also speeds on over us like a minor speedbump).... but having the ability to recognize what the issues and triggers are, and what worked and will work again.... and putting them BACK into practice... well that's BOTTIng. And you know you CAN do it. You've done it all along, until you slipped. Don't be afraid to ask questions, pry a little farther when someone mentions something that might work for you. We're all here for each other, and different things work for everyone. 

What might be good to start is getting back to basics. What was your diet like fresh out of surgery? The fill will help things along this respect, I think. Start getting back to your roots, when things worked better and you were motivated.

As for your daughter..... well.... This is just an idea, but if she has a job of her own, get her a little mini-fridge for her room and let her stock it herself. Then she can't complain about the GOOD food in the house and can eat all her junk far far away from your reach. She's young, and I don't think she understands what she's saying, or means the implications that come with it. So don't take it all too personally.

Keep it up, keep posting. I'm so glad you've joined us!!

You know, I actually miss those first few months after I was banded when I was "afraid" to try eating things that I knew were a no-no  as well as the fear of getting stuck or having pain/discomfort. Now I know what I can and cannot eat and know what irritates my band.

My daughter does have a job and I have been making her buy anything special that she wants. I will buy the basics for her, but make her buy pop, chips, stuff like that. I know I can do it, but always end up sabotaging myself with whatever it is I'm doing, maybe a fear of success because I am so used to failing??

Hi Kristy,
Just popping to say Welcome to Bott! 

Deb

Hello and thank-you!

Kristy

Welcome.   You are in the right place.

Trudy

Kristy - WELCOME   I'm so glad you've chosen to join us.  I hope you find this site as helpful as I have.

Don't know that I can say it one bit better than Sion has - but here's what I say.  Humans aren't perfect, humans make mistakes, humans can correct their mistakes and humans can learn from their mistakes.  Forgive yourself for being human, and that's exactly what has happened - it is NOT a flaw in your character, you are NOT a failure.  You are a human.

Your daughters "demands" may offer a challenge but make no mistake about it - they are excuses not reasons for getting off track.  We've all gotten off track or we wouldn't be here.  I had my lap band four years ago, at about 2 years out from reaching my goal FOREVER began to have real meaning and, like so many at that point, I got off track and gained 30-35 pounds.  But I'm happy to say I am now back on track, slightly below my original goal weight, and MAINTAINING for the first time in my life.  This is the 3rd time I've lost 100 pounds and always before, whether I lost 100 ozs or 100 pounds, I was on my way to regaining in less than a month.  When we've dieted in the past no one ever told us maintenance is forever.  We were fat, we lost the weight, we went back to eating (and I lost no time doing just that) and we went back to gaining.

Our problem is about .01% physical and 99.99% mental.  We don't eat because we are tummy hungry - we most likely have never been truly tummy hungry in our life - we eat because we are head hungry.  So......thinking we need to eat because we are hungry is the poorest possible determinant of whether we actually need to eat.  I've never known anyone to fall over dead because they did not give in to a craving, but I have know people to fall over dead because the DID give in to a craving and were fat. 

To be successful I have to count my calories, plan my food at least one day ahead (3 or 4 days is better), and follow my plan.  I know how many calories I can eat and maintain (and I knew how many calories I could eat and lose)  I may modify what I eat when the day actually comes, but I stay within my calorie limit.  When I've  consumed my calorie limit I don't let myself put anything else in my mouth that day.  Am I perfect about this, of course not as I'm stuck with being a human too.  But, I am compliant a great deal of the time.  And, if I'm not, I get back on track right away.  I give this group of folks a lot of credit for enabling me to do that.  They are undoubtedly the most caring, supportive, understanding, positive and accepting people I've found.

You can do this - you've already proven that.  Remember, you don't have to want to do it because some days you will and it will be so easy and other days every 5 minutes is a struggle (and that's controlled by our thinking - not our tummy hunger)  Just be a Nike girl and JUST DO IT

Don't be shy  - let us know how we can be most helpful;.  Posting on the Cardio and Cafe thead every day can be a big help.  Reading Cathy's guidelines - really reading not just looking at the words - at the beginning of our Discussion page has helped a lot of us get back to basics.

Have your fills - up until the last year I had a fill about every 4 months - and after each fill do your 2 days refeeding on each level to get back to regular food.  This is so important - both physically and mentally.

If you are comfortable, please post often and allow us to share your journey.  WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHR - YES WE CAN

Again, WELCOME!!!!!1