Crying Out for Help

Dec, 1st it'll be 4 years for me. For a year and a half now it's been gain...gain... gain.... My heart is just broken in two over this, too. I have a terrible habit of Night eating, just real bad. I have not had an entire GOOD week in over a year. I'd love one, just to prove I can do it. Every single day, it seems, I'm trying, trying... but never no success, cried a river over all this. Finding this site BOTT is for me! I really need you all.

Surgery. Dec. 1, 2005, wt: 285... I'm 5'2" tall... 54 years old
Lowest weight 132, for a few weeks
Stayed at 142 for the longest time
My long term goal is 128,,,
Today I'm 170 lbs

I'm going home the day after Christmas, dear firends, the last time my family saw me I weighted 138......... Christmas,That is a good 8 weeks away, I know a serious girl could make great strides in 8 weeks/60 days. I'd say I could possibly lose 20 lbs by then.Do you think? More than anything want to be BOT.......

My goal is to 100% honestly..... JOURNAL, everybite, water, vitamins, protein, calories and exercise, for my Thanksgiving Goal. I mean 100% truthful, this would be a major step in the right direction for me.
I need you all...... Kathy

Hi,

I'm rejoicing n the fact that, I think, we are on that same track.  We need to jump off it and climb on to the right one.  Let's try to find that together. 

Thanksgiving, we may just go out if anyplace is open.  Small towns don't have much variety.  It's just the two of us, I think. 

Hang in there!

Shout and Joy - WELCOME TO YOU BOTH   We've all been there and done that or we wouldn't be here

Now first things first - neither of you are a failure.  What you are is a human being.  Human beings aren't perfect.  Human beings make mistakes.  Human beings can learn from their mistakes (sometimes we refuse to learn any other way LOL).  Human beings can correct their mistakes.  It is absurd to think just because we had bariatric surgery we will never ever eating anything we shouldn't or more than we should for the rest of our lives.  When we get off the track isn't the important day - the next day is - do we choose to get right back on or do we tap in to our old thinking and say "I'm off today so I'll go ahead and eat those things I've been craving and I'll get back on tomorrow"?  Sometimes, at least for me "tomorrow" took over a year to arrive. 

Dec 23 will be the 4th anniversary of my lap band surgery.  I lost 100+ pounds in a year.  But about 2 years out I got off track.  I'd be off and on and off and on and ended up gaining about 30-35 pounds when I found this site.  I can honestly say I don't think I could have gotten/stayed on track with out the caring, understanding, acceptance, and support I've received here.  I call them my angels in disguise as humans   Our surgeries aren't magic wands - they are tools. And just as if you had 100 hammers in your tool chest, until you pick up one and use it no nail would ever get driven into a board.  So it is with our surgery (whatever the procedure).  We must choose to use our tool.

We must also quit acting (we'd never say it but our actions speak so loud) as though HUNGER = EMERGENCY  In other words we as as though if we are "hungry" we have no choice but to eat or we will die.  Now, I have never known anyone to keel over dead because they did not give in to "hungry" LOL  Few, if any of us, knows anything about tummy hungry.  We know a great deal about head hungry.  So, probably the least accurate way of telling if we need to eat is if we feel hungry.  If, on some rare occasion, it happens to really be tummy hungry - we aren't going to die if we wait until our next meal (or even if we skip a whole meal).

So here's a suggested plan.  Plan your food at least one day ahead - in writing.  Write down every morsel you put in your  mouth.  Set 5 minute goals.  We all know that at times 5 compliant minutes require a lot more from us than 5 consecutive compliant days.  At the end of that 5 minutes reward your success in a non-food way.  We all need rewards and you don't have to wait for some mystical magical number on the scales for a reward - that's a sure-fire trap for failure.  Then begin your next 5 minutes.  I go by calories (of course, keeping my carbs low)  When I have eaten my calories for the day, I simply will not allow myself to put anything else (excep****er) in my mouth until the next morning.  I have found what works best for my body is breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner.  But, everybody's body is different and you need to divide your daily allotted calories however works best for your body.  Some days it's easy and some days it's hard - but all days it's a choice and it's possible.  Our problem is about .01% physical and 99.99% thinking/emotional.  So.........the answer is to change our thinking.    We aren't in this to be "comfortable" 365 days a year (or 366 if it happen to be a Leap Year)  We are in this to feel better, look better, and move better.  Yes, I'm vain enough to admit I want to look better and you know what - 112 looks a whole lot better than 250!!!!  Now I'd like to say once I found this site and got back on track I've never gotten off track and pigged out since.  But tha would be a bald-faced lie.  I have gotten off track - but usally back on track the next day - never longer than 3 days. 

When we have dieted before - no one ever bothered to tell us maintenance is forever.  We were fat, we dieted, we lost our weight, and we went right back to eating the same old way.  Some of you maintained for a while - me?  this is the 3rd time I've lost 100 pounds, but whether I lost 100 oz ir 100 lbs within less than a month I was on my way back up.  Now, my insides as well as my outsides KNOWS maintenance is forever and I have a plan (that is working wonderfully well when I follow it) on how I will do it.  I can't begin to tell you what a relief that is.

Cathy has posted some wonderful information at the beginning of our Discussion page under Guidelines.  Many of us have found it helpful to go back and really read (not just words - but meanings) those as there are often bits and pieces of our guidelines that we have ignored over time - or perhaps have simply forgotten.  We can so easily get hooked into our old thinking that now we have lost our weight we don't have to follow any guidelines - we can just "be careful"  WRONG!!!  Guidelines are FOREVER.

YES, WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER - YES WE CAN!!!!

Don't be shy , please let us know how we can be of help to you.  If you're comfortable, post often and allow us to share your journey.  When one of us succeeds, we all succeed.  Love yourselves enough to practice "tough love" 

Kathy - HLB said it all...i rejoined OH in August and i was 39 pounds over...i have just cracked the 'teens to go' level - 19 pounds to go...20 pounds gone...this group is phenomenal and i don't think i could have done this without their love and support...

you have come to the right place - YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Go, HLB! You are right on the money! I am so glad I found this group. It is very discouraging to read so many people on the boards saying,"Help! I've gained 60 pounds in a year and I can't stop eating!" I find that attitude defeatist. If we pull together to gain strength, we can all be successful! It's being out there on our own that makes us feel overwhelmed, I think.

I lost down to 146 in April, then over a few weeks of traveling and poor eating, I gained to 154. I saw that number on the scale and a chill possessed me. I knew that if I didn't take back control that I would go right back to 292.

I know my regain is not as dramatic as some, but I went back to basics, all the tools that we are educated to use but most seem to be too unrealistic and mired in using food as comfort to use consistently: diet journaling, water, exercise, and absolute honesty. HLB is right: maintenance is for LIFE. No thin person eats the way that a compulsive overeater does and stays thin for long! We can't go back to old ways without regain.

Since I went back to basics and started running, I have lost even more than my lowest weight. I just weighed myself the day before yesterday and I am down to 140! My goal is to achieve a lower body fat ratio--I think my weight is fine for now. As long as I keep writing my intake and exercise down, and sipping, and making veggies, salads and good protein the bulk of my diet, I know I can keep progressing.

Thanks, BOTT, for being here!

How in the world am I supposed to follow that act, Happy!  You are simply fantastic. Don't you worry, Kathy, ShoutJoy, all the others... BOTTing is about being human and making mistakes, but also about acknowledging why they happened, accepting those moments, and moving on. You can still BOTT the very second after you swallow that cookie. Go for a quick walk and burn off the calories you just ate. You'll feel better for it. That way, yes, you made a mistake, you indulged.... but you accepted the fact that you did and ammended it.

Welcome to BOTT. We're here for you in whatever way we can be, so please just tell us what we can do to help you BOTT for yourself!

I have no better wisdom to add that hasn't already been said.  I just wanted to welcome you to this great group. 

BOTT angels abide here...

Boy, what words can I say, to express the gladness I feel? The encouragement I feel from each of you? The hope you have given me? Your words are so full of "life and rich." They are like water to my dry and hurting soul. Thank-you
Kathy