Introducing myself

I just joined this group and need to post about myself just to get it out there. I am copying the post I just made to the Over Fifty Forum (OFF) since it sums things up. I look forward to working toward getting back on track.

 I have gained back more than half the weight I lost since my RNY surgery 11-06 and feel like such a failure. At least I have stopped gaining and am still attending my 12 step food addiction group led by Mary Jo Rappini. In January I get to attend a smaller group led by MJ and MJ says she will be able to give me more individual attention in that group. I cannot afford to see her as a therapist cause she does not take insurance and charges almost $200/hr. I have to believe I can get a handle on my addiction and self destructive behavior.
 
I am overdue for my yearly physical because I just don't wan't to hear what my doctor has to say or to find out that some of my health problems have returned. He told me in 2006 that due to my morbid obesity, blood pressure issue with 3 meds, and metabolic syndrome with 1 med, my life would probably end in my 70's if I made it that far. That was the single thing that made me decide to have the RNY surgery. I trust him to tell me the truth as he has for 30 years or so, and he said RNY surgery was not last hope. So, now almost 3 years post, I am back to the weight I was when I had surgery. I had lost 40 # in the 6 months prior to surgery and am keeping that off. There I said it, I have not admitted that to anyone.

I have a sedentary job, work from home for the State of Texas and literally move from bed to desk to recliner on any given day with a once a week grocery shopping trip. I don't walk well due to balance issues with my left leg after falling and tearing both calf muscles five years ago. I started this job in April 2007 after surgery in November 2006. Anyway, I know if I could get myself moving on a regular basis that would help a lot. My best friend, bless her, expresses her concern about my health all the time. The group of OFFers I was with in Dallas last month saw me at my worst in terms of weight and poor mobility and I hated having to see myself like that, but being with them helped me feel more positive about getting back on track.

Ok, that is enough of that. I just had to get all that out and in print.

Karen Martin

Welcome to the group!  Good job of cleansing yourself of that guilt.  Sometimes just saying it 'out loud' makes a big difference.  This is a safe zone, welcome.

Thank you for welcoming me to this group and reminding me this is a safe zone.
Karen

Welcome Karen,  sorry for the reason that you are here but weight gain brought most of us here. 

I know that you will succeed because you are doing some of the things that need to be done to get back where you were and past that point.  Hope all goes well in your group therapy.  I do better when I'm staying on the boards, journaling and posting daily.  Take care,

Z

Thanks Z for your supportive words, especially 'getting back where I was and past that point'. That seems impossible at this point in time but your words make it seem possible.
Karen

Hi Karen,

Mary Jo is a wonderful, sweet person.  I've worked with her and consider her a friend.  I know her group will be a great tool for you.

We've all been there, done that.  That is why I created this group.  We have a very special group here and I'm glad you've joined us.  OFF is a terrific board so with BOTT and OFF (alphabetical soup there, huh?  LOL) you will be with many supportive, understanding members.

I have found that the more I post and stay involved with members that the better I do.

Hang out with us and WELCOME!!

Cathy

Cathy,

Thanks for the warm welcome. MJ is a sweet person and so sharp. She has helped me as I never knew I was an Addict till after surgery and looked at how self destructive I was with eating sweets despite the fact that they make me really sick,(Dump).

I read your story and your success is so motivating.

Karen

Hi Karen,

Welcome to the group!
I understand feeling ashamed and like a failure, but you are making some very good steps.
Being in a 12 step group is a great idea!

I have gained back 60lbs or so and I am in therapy.
I am also going back to looking at what I SHOULD eat rather than what I CAN eat.

I spent the last 3 years doing some very self-destructive things and I am still trying to recover.

Try to get as many people as possible on your side!
Support is the most important thing!

Take care!
Teresa

Hi Teresa,

I can see from your post you do understand where I am with my weight gain and self-destructive behavior. The psychologist who leads my 12-step group helped me see for the 1st time that I am an addict, and how my behavior relates directly to that. I need to be individual therapy but don't know who to go to who can help me with my issues and who takes my insurance.

I like what you said about looking at what I Should eat rather than what I Can eat.

Thanks,

Karen

Karen - I too am over 50 - will be 77 Dec 14 - and I too regained some weight about two years out.  This morning I am exactly at my goal weight - which I lowered by 8 pounds from my original goal after my lap band Dec. 05.  We;'ve all been where you are or we wouldn't be here.  WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER - YES WE CAN

First of all - let me say WELCOME   I hope you find this site as helpful as I have.  Beyond a doubt, I would never have been able to get back/stay on track without their caring, understanding, acceptance, and support.  I call them my angels in disguise as humans  

Next - YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!!!!!!!  You are a human being.  Humans aren't perfect - we make mistakes.  It is unrealistic to think we will go the next 50 years and never eat anything we shouldn't or never eat more than we should.  They deadly part of that is if we plug into our old unhealthy thinking of "If I'm not 100% perfect, I'm 100% a failure"  It is not the day we get off track that is significant - it is the next day - our decision now is do I get back on track or do I keep eating.  I'd like to say when I got off track, I got right back on the next day - I didn't get back on consistently for months - not until I found this site.  I'd also like to say I have never gotten off track since - but that would be a great big, bald-faced lie - but what I can see is that I was able to get right back on (never off more than 3 days) and now I am so proud of myself  because, for the first time in my life, I'm maintaining for more than a few days after dieting and reaching my goal.  Until now I had no clue how to maintain and when we diet no one ever tells us maintenance is forever.  We diet, lose our weight, go back to eating like we did, and regain all - usually plus more - and eventually begin that cycle all over again with the lastes sure-thing diet.
Now I don't have to do tha ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have found LiveStrong.com/user/thedailyplate to be an enormous help.  I have to plan ahead and write down everything I eat in order to stay on track.  Hope you find some of this helpful.

Again - WELCOME   Please don't be shy , let us know how we can be most helpful.  If you're comfortable, post often and allow us to share your journey.  When one of us succeeds, we all succeed.