Post RNY... how would you handle this situation?

Yesterday I went to my local YMCA for my morning workout. I always start my day with a mile walk on the indoor track.I've been trying to increase my speed and have the mile down to about eighteen minutes.   I passed a woman on the track that was gimping along, rather heavy and with a high test Pepsi in hand. I didnt' give it much thought...as we're all on our exercise plans on our own personal level. Well the woman talked to me when I finished and complimented me on the"speed" of my walk. We struck up a small conversation. Then  I couldn't help but over hear her conversation with a staff member at the YMCA. She said " I have about a hundred pounds to lose".... "I met Kathy and she told me that all shapes, sizes and people from all sorts of backgrounds come here to work out"... then she said "I'll never do the gastric bypass surgery because those folks aren't successful, are looking for the easy way out and fail at all their weight loss attempts anyways".  ( I never disclosed to her that I had had gastric bypass surgery in my conversation with her)

Well I was ready to strangle her!!! Anyone that has followed my story knows it's been less than easy and the results of diet journaling and exercising for health is far from easy.   What do you think... should I mention that I"m a post RNY person next time I see her... or should I let the rumors of the gym filter down to her after she has more time to watch my workouts?   I'm no where near an ideal weight....but I just hate the RNY bashers that havent' walked a mile in our shoes... far from the easy way out they talk about.  Any suggestions???
Hugs...

Kathy

I'm not an RNY patient - my procedure was lap band - but I have very little tolerance for the "bashers" of any procedure and also insist that their procedure is THE one and all others are worthless.  So I'm not sure I'm the person to share my thoughts here.

What I would do (and I'm by NO MEANS saying this is right!) is the next time I saw her I would engage her in conversation about her progress and then, seemingly innocently, begin sharing with her that you are an RNY patients and your story.  Talk fast and try not to let her get a word in edgewise until you have shared your story.  She may or may not change her mind (some people operate from a "My mind's made up, don't confuse me with the facts" position and you have no control over that - but, at least, you have shared the facts with her and, quite possibly, saved her life if she decides bariatric surgery is for her. 

I wish you well

Ehhh I dunno. I'm sort of a passive "Live and let Live" person. I don't care who says what about RNY, its success or failure, because everyone's story is different, and for all I know, they know 10 post-op RNY'ers that failed.  

I look at my story not as a success, not as a failure, but as a work in progress that will never end. I can't toss my opinion into the thrall of someone else's because I'm still, and always will be, living out my journey. 

I can't understand how can someone say "I failed"... they still have their tool, they still have the option to keep trying. If they choose to fail, maybe that's one thing. But if they still desire to lose weight, to be healthy, to love themselves... you can't fail. You just stumble.

I don't know, like I said... I'm more of a "Let them think what they want" person. I know what works for me. That's all I can do.

Lucky her!  She doesn't have any life threatening health issues and dieting works and is easy for her.

She is ignorant, uninformed.  You can ignore her - or if she is a nice person beside that - inform her about the surgery and the "real" life post op.   In a nice, non confronting way.
If our way is "an easy way out" someone forgot to tell me...

sadly all too often we make judgements on things that we know nothing about (or what mis-information we have gained from the media!)

Do you feel comfortable talking about your wls?  I carefully chose who I tell - those I think will understand, and not judge me.  If you feel ok about this woman, if it comes up in conversation then I say go for it - don't let her know you overheard her conversation, or try to convert her, just give her your story.  Often that's when people listen - when it's personal to you.

You never know, you may help her change her life, just by sharing yours

Ruth

She like so many other people who know nothing about WLS have formed their own opinion or go on hear say.  I was totally ignorant to what WLS entailed and was upset and insulted when my doctor suggested it to me.  It was only after a friend of mine took me to a consultation and I began to research the procedure that I learned what the surgery was all about and the benefits.  I would let her know that I had the surgery and if you have a before picture (which I carry all the time) I would share it with her.

Ignorance is bliss, but stupidity goes all the way to the bone!

Genie

The people who see what we have gone through as the "easy way out" are just IGNORANT...IMO.

I challange anyone of them to follow my eating habits; exercise for 1 week just to see how easy it is. My prediction...most will be running for cover (with tail between their legs) on about day 3.

I have always been VERY open about my wls (RNY) and have never cared what anyone thought (although, fortunately, I've had huge support from everyone).  In fact, I've been very proud that I had it done!

With that said, in this particular case, and ONLY because she wasn't actually talking to you (unless you were RIGHT BESIDE HER & SHE CLEARLY KNEW YOU HEARD), I'd probably NOT say anything.  If she knows you heard, I would tell her when I had a chance, but if not, I'd just keep it to myself unless it specifically comes up. 

I really just never cared that many people think it's the easy way out, blah, blah.  In fact, for me, it WAS easy.  At least the losing part was.  The maintaining, unfortunately, has been extremely hard for me.  But whatever--I'm still maintaining nearly a 100-lb. loss--and am still working on losing my re-gain.  And when I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, my tool still works.

I too was open about my RNY surgery. I had surgery on 9-16-08 and returned to work after one month. As i began to drop the weight the "haters" around me would say rude things like " so often people gain the weight back" "oh that is easy option WLS" I was mad and hurt as it is so unfair for people to judge and make nasty comments about something they are really uneducated about.

So as time moved on and my skin became thicker I was able to ignore and gain confidence in my ability to make this RNY tool work.

I just passed my one year anniversary and lost 100 lbs, the one person that would make a majority of negative comments came over to me and asked me to talk to a friend of hers and give her the info on the surgery! So in due time we can be a model for the surgery and hopefully the uninformed can become enlightened.

Thank goodness we have each other here!

If I did not have surgery i would have likely gained 20+  pounds on my 5'4'' frame last year!

I am so grateful for the surgery it has changed my life !

Cathy