Fell off the wagon...

Well, I fell off the wagon last night and drank a six pack before my husband got home.  Boy, he was mad...I know I shouldn't do that...I can't figure out why all of a sudden I just go get beer and drink.  It will destroy my marriage if I don't get ahold of it.  AA is not for me...I am not into that type of scene.  I have to talk to my PDoc and see what he says...So I am back to taking one day at a time.  

One day at a time is a good way - break it down even more if it helps to one hour at a time, or less.

You've done so well, you can do it again - get the help you need from where will help you best.  Get up, dust yourself off and get back on.

I'm sure others will come and give great advice -

I know how that is... it has taken my husband flat out saying to me "If you sneak alcohol ever again, I'm leaving". And he meant it. He ensures to reinforce that fact every time the subject comes up. I don't like hearing it. I am ashamed. But its the truth and it needs to be beaten into me. I'm sure you feel the same way, when that situation happens.

I have decided that I will drink this weekend. I have been clean and sober for 3 weeks now, and its very nice. I feel good, I feel in control, and I have disassociated stress and drinking. I also have decided that drinking is a social affair, now. No more drinking alone (or at home with no company). It will be set aside for celebrations, parties and cook-outs, and other such affairs. It will be my first experiment this way. My DH is aware of my plans, and is encouraging them. He said "If I have to scrape you up with a spatula Sunday morning, its alright. This is because I know you can't go anywhere, you have no plans for the next day, and I can be there to keep an eye on you and keep you safe."

He also said I had permission to get completely wasted. Without even thinking, I said "I'm not sure that's what I want to do, I have no idea who will be there." He smiled and said "That was a test of will power and your desire to keep from making an ass of yourself." I had to laugh. It feels good to feel this sort of control. Lets see if it sticks Saturday.

Do you think this is something you could try? To put drinking in a whole new category in your life? Ensuring it is unavailable until this moment arrives? (celebration or party or whatever?) I found that setting a goal a long ways out helped me. Can you try that?

I have been sneaking alcohol too...that's what hurts him the most.  

I seem to do ok for a few days...then I just say $%#@ it and go.  He is still very angry with me today and said that he can't keep doing this.  I cannot have alcohol in the house - there is none now.  I found this website and wrote down some goals that I am going to give to him tonight.  I have quit smoking again in March...so I have managed that.  I have gotten back on protocol, and it's working.  so I guess there is no reason I can't do this either.

I think your way might work.  I will try it.  I can only get through one day at a time, though...

Certainly take it one day at a time, but remember that setting a goal is also a very healthy thing. If you promise yourself and DH, no drinking until XX date... and pull it off, you are allowed to celebrate as you see fit and DH will tend to you. Its a good deal to make, and when he cools off a little more (I think your goal setting is a great idea, BTW, and hope it helps him) it might be worth offering it up as an option.