Friday Weigh-In

Down a pound this week to 169... like many of you have just been bouncing around. This is 2 pounds lighter than I was Jan. 1st this year and about the same as last summer. Guess you could say it is where I have been maintaining. So I want to lose another 25 or so but gotta get more serious and need to do some soul searching to figure out what is going on with me.
When I journaled the other day I realized that I am sad because my life seems to have passed me by. I woke up one day in my 40's and feel like I lost 20 years. Was obese during my youth and thought the surgery and weightloss would help me get that back somehow. I am definitely healthier but grieve the fact I will never experience having that young, firm, sexy body that I never had. I am wrinkled and graying etc. and I didn't get to enjoy my youth as a normal person.
There' s my thoughts for the day. Weighin probably wasn't the place to dump it but i did.... how are ya'll today?

Welcome to life.    Seems it might be the time therapy could be of real benefit for you.  Might want to consider that 

I have been in and out of therapy for 20 years and guess it does help at the time. But I feel like why does it never end? Shouldn't I be "fixed" finally... or does our evolving life require attention
periodically. Do you think seeing different councelors is helpful or sticking with an old comfortable one? Think I am in the Contemplative stage of making a decision to go back.

No major changes here this week:
Last week 243.6
This week: 243.5
Goal weight : 145 (beginning to think that's the goal weight of someone other than me)

I can so relate to what you shared about being overweight over your lifetime. Our youth does have a way of slipping away. I'd like to lose the title of "OBESE" for once in my life . I keep saying my motto is "it ain't over til the fat lady sings"... do you suppose I need voice lessons to convince my scale that was me I was talking about :-). Issues to deal with this week with my surgeon/endoscope dilema... but for now I'll keep journaling and walking and hoping that some of these dreaded extra pounds will just go away!!!  See you next week.
Kathy

Well, I'm kinda at a loss (bad pun, ) on what to put for the weigh in this week.

Last week: 212
This week: 212 (at least I was yesterday)
Today:      209.8

So, I can't make up my mind if I should take the 2-lb loss or just call it an even week. My body is definitely doing the up/down bouncing game this week. I went back up to 213 and down to an even 209 during the week. I saw where someone only calls it a loss if they have been there two days in a row, but my body has its own crazy way of actually losing. I hardly ever have two consistent days. I can't see any sort of rhyme or reason to it so I'm not going to figure it out anymore and let it do what it wants.

I think I can safely say that I am under the 100 lb loss mark again and have no intention of returning to the higher side in the near future or the rest of my life for that matter.

Ioinrc,

I can completely understand the frustration on bouncing around and "maintaining" the same weight. The positive thing to focus on there, is that when you do lose your final 25 lbs, you'll be ahead of the game. You'll already know how to maintain your goal weight.

Try not to focus on your life passing you by...you're still living now. I firmly believe in the mantra of "you're as young as you feel". I have my old days, but then I have my young days.

I can understand what you're saying about not having that young, firm, sexy body. I have been overweight/obese since junior high. As a freshman, I was wearing a size 16 in pants and extra large shirts. A lot of times, my mom would make my clothes for me because it was cheaper than buying the bigger sizes. I'm trying not to recapture my youth, but just live in the moment.

Keep on journaling and doing that soul searching...it'll help you find your way.

I can so relate to your post - I too have been grieving over nover experiencing the body that I wish for.  I could have written your post... not sure what to do with it, or if it's something from weight loss or mi life crisis, but wanted you to know that you are not alone.  It helps me knowing someone else knows how I feel.

I've been on vacation for two weeks, and thankfully stayed the same - yay.  I was camping and very active walking lots each day.  Now I need to stop the vacation eating and move more as I don't at home and I know that made the difference.  I've got two weeks before coming to America for a week where I know I am going to have my mexican food - it just isn't the same in the UK.  Sadly these are the restuarants I am planning to visit - I just need to remember to have child portions and to bring some home:

El Chicos
Chillis
On the Border
I also LOVE souper Salad but sadly hubbies doesn't so may not make that one!!!  Probably just as well :o)

Thanks for all your support. Sorry that I probably shouldn't have been so open on this board. I forget that we should be limited in our sharing. It does help though when others can relate to how you are feeling.Guess that is what support is all about! And if it helps someone not feel alone then I think that is a good thing. Thanks again!  Lucy

HI Lucy

Sorry, but I disagree - I don't think we should limit our sharing or not be so open here at all, unless it is our own choice.  To me, that is what this board in particular is helpful for - give and take on the sharing and caring.  I am glad you felt able to share this and it has really helped me.

I always remind myself that if I am thinking something, then I am not that different from other people so someone else must be thinking it too - or has at some point and maybe I can benefit from their experience.

Our BOTT board is wonderful at being understanding and supportive, so different from other boards I have been on, which is why I feel like I fit here.

Ruth