Thursday, BOTT Cafe & Cardio

Hi BOTTers,

I am having a hard time with head hunger and wanting to emotionally eat.  So, of course, due to our collective strength in BOTT POWER, I'm posting here with you.

No coincidence probably between my head hunger and a situation that I'm dealing with.  I have a friend that I'm having to reassess.  She is stuck in a situation that is unhealthy.  I am not a conditional friend.  I will hang in there with you during good times and bad.  However, she seems to not be willing to do anything about it.  She is very much stuck and wants to vent and is full of anger to the point of rage but not willing to take steps for herself.  Her counselor told her that unless she is willing to do what she needs to separate herself from the situation, she is part of the problem which is what I'm feeling.  She didn't like her therapist telling her that so she is thinking of quitting.  (Truth hurts!) 

All of us have energy drainers which can range from a unorganized drawer or closet to a relationship.  She is extremely draining for me.  I want to be there and go through it with her but not if she is not willing to see things and take steps to be healthy.  She goes from rage in her voice to depression when I'm with her.  There is never anything positive. 

I'm sad because I feel what is best for me is to separate and create some distance.  We've become distant the past week or so because I told her that nothing was going to change in this relationship unless she took steps for herself to change it.  She was angry and things have become very strained.  Hmmm, as I type this to you, I was wondering why I've really struggled the past days with emotional eating - now I know for sure!!

Thanks for allowing me to share with you.

Here's my check-in:

CARDIO:  Day off

FOOD:

Cottage cheese
Morningstar Soy Sausages (6)
Cottage cheese
Jalapeno Mustard Pretzels
Tilapia with green beans
Cinnamon Toast Pretzels
Power Crunch bar

Hae a terrific Thursday as we BOTT - BOTT POWER all the way!

Cathy

Cathy,

Sorry that you're going thru that situation with your friend. I went through the same thing last year with someone I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. He ended up going his way, which ended up taking a bad turn, while I went mine. That's when I fell off the wagon and stop caring about my weight/health. I had a couple of good friends who stuck by me and some who didn't but are back in my life now. Without those friends who were there, I would've went down a destructive path. You may just be here angel  in disguise. Sometimes, we will take it better from a friend than a therapist. Of course, maybe not at first we won't be so receptive, but couple days/weeks later.... I'll keep my fingers crossed you find the best solution.

Cathy - I feel for you.  Remember, it is appropriate for the one with inappropriate behavior (you friend) to be uncomfortable - no one can make anyone else think, feel, or do anything, we can only invite.  It is up to the other person whether or not they accept the invitation.  To attempt to comfort your friend - besides obviously not working - is only enabling her inappropriate behavior.  I guess part of being a friend is caring enough about them to be uncomfortable ourselves not enabling their destructive behavior.  

It is going to be a very long time before I pig out again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My insides are all out of sync.  Even though Sunday I felt so miserable physically after pigging out at the wedding feast Sat evening that my calorie intake was very low, I've gone to the amount mydaily plate says I need to eat to lose a pound at 120.0 which was where I was - but now this morning I'm still going up so I am going to increase my calories.  I know it is a matter of output not input but it is still discouraging.    I'm beginning to wonder if I'm ever going to reach my goal weight and then I remind myself I have at least 30 years to get there so I just need to cool it and control my thinking, eating and exercise and let the scales go where they may.  My insides are so out of whack I'm sure if you looked up S L U G G I S H in the dictionary my picture would be right there beside the definition.

I promise a 100% BOTT day and, hopefully, I'll be able to report a livelier body and a loss tomorrow

HappyLap,

What is it about pigging out that makes us feel like blech for many days afterwards?? Seems to me it happens more now than before the surgery. Maybe its the thing in the back of our heads telling us we never should have done it in the first place so its going to teach a lesson. My question is this...where was that little voice that is now teaching us a lesson when we were pigging out??? It took a leave of abscence when we needed it the most. Sheesh..

I have faith your body will level out again soon. It was thrown for a loop when it ate all the fun stuff. Now its running around like crazy wanting more and realizing it is going thru detox again.

keep on plugging along and it'll work itself out.

My teenage nephew descended on my house last night. It is always an interesting couple of days when he is there. My 100% BOTT days are definitely going to be challenged since I already have the evil Chex Mix, but now have to add the Doritos and peanut M&M's into it. I think the best thing for me to do is run and hide . I think they are all going to attack me when he's gone, but I'm going to remain strong and attack them back. I ain't skeered. I have ordered some sample proteins from Vitalady and hope they get here while he is still here, so I can try new things while the rest of my family is eating all the bad stuff.  I'm definitely going to be using HappyLap's advice of 15 mins a time in 5 min increments.

Cardio ~ Laundry (raining so I can't walk and exercise bike is up to make room for nephew)

Cafe ~
B ~ Liquid happiness (Starbucks w/a shot of protein)
      Kashi GoLean Blueberry Waffle
S ~ 1.5 ozs grapes w/1 slice Gouda
      Champion Nut Protein Drink
L ~ Absolutely no clue
S ~ 1.5 ozs grapes w/1 slice Gouda
     Champion Nutrition Protein Drink
D ~ really have no clue, will eat protein first then veggies
S ~ Champion Nutrition Protein Drink

Stress is awful, especially when its so personal. Bleh. Best wishes to getting through it with strength and calm, Cathy!

Going on a camping trip this weekend. I only just started getting excited about it this morning. I dunno why, just thinking about shopping for it and prepping all the food... I am gunna do marinated chicken and serloin tips on a stick, probably sausage and peppers... a few other grill-y proteins. Think it should be awesome. I am more excited about grilling than camping! HAH!

Cardio - Lots of running around packing and prepping. I know, not really exercise, but its all I got time for!

Food -
B - Left over chilli
S - Coffee, beef jerky
L - More chilli, love that stuff.
S - 100 calorie progresso soup
D - Not sure, will be on the go so...

Cathy,
I feel for you.  Wanting to keep a friend but not willing to be drugged down with her.

She makes choices in her life. She chooses to be miserable. You can choose to stay away from the drama.

I have been there. On either side of the situation.  Only - when I was the one making the wrong choices - I would let my friends know that I knew that, but for whatever reason i was not willing / able to change that at that time. But, if I shared  - I was doing that to listen to my friends advices and even if I did not liked what I heard - I respected their input.  After that  - I either followed the advice or I stopped talking about that. 
It sounds like your friend is miserable but unwilling to change.  She is dragging you down with her I call that: "dumping her monkey on your shoulders". 
I hope you can save the friendship - but not at your expense. You can either talk to her - or write her a letter.  Loving, caring. In which you can let her know that you care about her and that you feel pain when she struggles. That her inability to take action upset you.  That you want to keep the friendship - but unless she is willing to make changes in her life - since you cannot help her - you do not want to be involved in the drama. That the situation is very difficult for you since you care about her."   After that - it would be up to her - and if she brings the topic in a conversation - tell her that you really do not want to discuss the situation any longer.
You still may hang out together - talk about other topics - but not that one.

Do not be a dumping ground.