Self honesty and being a "new" BOTTer

Hi Everyone,

I had my surgery (RNY-open) March, 2003 and I have no regrets.  And although I have managed to put back on 25 lbs from my lowest post-WLS loss (155 lb), I am not angry with myself or critical, but with the passing of my father this past Thursday evening from multiple myeloma, I know it is time to get honest with myself.  You see, it was my father who taught me that it is yourself that is the easiest person to lie to, and I have been lying to myself about my eating habits and making excuses for myself (also known as lying, lol) for not taking my supplements, eating regular meals, and keeping a regular exercise routine.  My father taught me that there is no shame in making mistakes, but we let ourselves down when we fail to be the person we were made to be.  And I have been failing to be that person for some time.  There are many stresses of the past year that allowed me to start down that road of lying and making excuses to and for myself, but regardless of what the stresses have been (and they have been numerous and very profound in this down and depressed economy), and regardless of my past penchant to use food to comfort myself in times of stress, I must stop going down this road of lies and excuses and start telling myself the truth.  But even more important, in honor of my father, I need to take care of myself so I have as much time and joy to spend with the rest of my remaining family as possible.  So, to honor my father and all he meant to me in my life, I am here to get back on track and admit my need for support and change.

When I had this surgery six years ago, I did it for all the right reasons and never became a slave to the numbers.  I went by how I felt physically and that is where my head is at still.  My spinal stenosis in my lower back is starting to really bother me again and I know that taking off this regained weight will help with that.  Finances are very tight at the moment, but soon I will be able to afford purchasing some high quality protein drink mix and supplements that don't make my stomach upset or out of sorts.  In fact, if anyone has suggestions for a liquid formula of vitamins and supplements for WLS patients, I would appreciate it.   Although the vitamin tablets don't make me sick, they just don't sit well in my pouch and I spend several hours regretting swallowing them - having to take one or more of them more than once a day becomes harder than I can bear and so I end up abandoning supplements altogether, and consequently, I suffer borderline anemia and periodic bouts with exhaustion.  Since one of the changes in my life over the past year is that my husband is now disabled and relies on me for so much, I need to take the best care of myself so I do not let him down either.  I know I need to get back to basics and have been reading up on doing that.  The good news is I'm not beating myself up or hating myself for getting off track - I just want to fix what went wrong and get back on track so I can feel better physically.

Thank you for being here to support one another.  I look forward to getting to know everyone and getting myself back on track.

Blessings,
Robin

Have you tried Bariatric Advantage or Building Block vitamins?  If they are too expensive you can tried Centrium chewable vitamins.  Make sure you take 2 a day which is about equal to the bariatric vitamins.  I still can't swallow tablets but tolerate the chewable very well.  I also use sublingual B12 tablets.  Make sure you use a good vitamin and a calcium citrate supplement (not calcium carbonate).  Calcium citrate tablets will dissolve in a small amount of water in about 3-4 minutes.  I frequently dissolve them and add it to my protein drink or other liquid.  Good luck!  Shellli

Thanks Shelli - I never thought of chewables, and I never thought of dissolving the calcium citrate . . . who would of thunk it? I haven't tried Bariatric Advantage or Building Block Vitamins . . . what I have I got at the health food store . . . can't remember the brand and am too lazy to go look right now, lol.  A long time ago I tried and used Real Meals, which was loaded with daily allowances, and I would like to get that again - a bit pricey, but at the very least, I'm getting my proper nutrition with each shake and no longer "skipping" meals.  That's the death knel to staying on track, as you know.

Robin - WELCOME    WELCOME     WELCOME      WELCOME 

I'm so glad you have chosen to join us BOTTers   I hope you find this site as helpful as I have.  I truly believe I would not have been able to get back/stay on track without their caring, acceptance, understanding and support.  I call them angels in disguise as humans.  

Good for you not beating yourself up   Your father must have been a wonderful man and a true inspiration.  How lucky the two of you had each other for I'm sure you enriched his life as much as he did yours.

If you are comfortable, please post often and allow us to share your successes and challenges.  We've all been there and done that.  WE CAN DO (AND ARE DOING) THIS TOGETHER

Again, welcome

Hi Robin,
Just popping in to say Welcome to BOTT! 
Deb

Hi Robin - I'm new here but I wanted to say HI!!.

I really needed your post right now - I am the queen of making excuses (its the weekend, its a special occasion, etc). Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!

Welcome Robin!!!

You're already a little way there to getting/staying back on track by not beating yourself up. Now comes the fun part, food (protein), vitamins and exercise. I use Champion Nutrition Whey Protein Chocolate Stack. I mix it with about 4-8 ozs of cold water. I purchase mine at the local health food store for anywhere in between $40-$65, depending on what size I get.

Please post often and join us in the daily "Cafe and Cardio".

Thank you everyone for the warm welcome!   I look forward to participating, and will be stepping up my efforts and participation after we hold the memorial service for my father this coming Saturday.

Take care and have a good day.  Mine is off to a better start with a breakfast of toast, I know not the best of choices, but better than no eating at all (set up for later worse behavior) and I still need to healthify my pantry with better food choices, which I can do as soon as my funds are replenished at the end of the month .  Talk to you soon , Robin

Welcome Robing. I am sorry for your loss.
What a positive attitude you have! I needed to hear what
you said. It is so true.
Thanks for joining us. Look forward to hearing more wise words!