A Look in the Mirror....

The July 4th holiday is behind us, and family has a way of bringing things to your attention.  I was the heavest member of my family standing only 5'4 and weighing in at 265lbs. I was the ridiculed and degraded because of my weight and my family was very much against my surgery almost 3 years ago. 

I had a reality check the other day when my niece who I haven't seen in several months noticed that I had gained weight.  I've gained 10lbs and when I think about it, during the honeymoon phase of the diet I had gone down to a size 12 and was still losing where I am now a size 14.  A 10lb gain in our world is a lot.  When she left I disrobed and stood in front of the mirror and I broke down and cried.  Why, because I know what she said was true. 

Now what I have known all along is starting to show and I need to really get back on track or else I WILL regain all the weight I have lost, as well as my self-esteem.  I have struggled with exercise more than anything else and if this doesn't do it nothing will.  I pray that I will find the strength and the motivation I need to succeed.

Genie

Oh Genie that is such a sad state to be in but at least you broke through your denial. I wish that I had sooner because now I am 20 poundsup. It is best to stop it now. It's funny how we all have our particular strengths and weaknesses. I can do the exercise but do poorly with the food right now. I know it will come in time. Think baby steps... I forget what your exercise routine is but think I have seen some posts that you are. So keep up what you were doing and just add a bit more. Walk on break at work, or around the block at night, or one of those 10 min. videos... just a little bit more. YOU GO GIRL~ Lucy

Thank you so much Lucy for your support.  I have a personal trainer which I was using 3-4 times a week.  He changed his availability time to Tues., Fri., and Sat.  Well, Saturday's are not convenient for me because I work and if he cancels during the week then I'm down to one day which is no excuse for me doing nothing. 

I said I was going to stop with him all together because when I'm really motivated and looking forward to a workout...he cancels.  So now looking at my situation and where I am..."do I really need him?"  NO!  I think I've learned enough to do this on my own.  Yes, I enjoy the company of the other clients, but I know I can do this on my own.

Genie - You are a beautiful, strong, and dedicated woman   I have no doubts that you will get back on track with exercise as well as food.  I had a shock when I climbed the stairs to my condo with a full back pack - had to stop and pant sooner.  When I got home I weighed my back pack and it weighed less than 10 pounds - 9.2 pounds to be exact.  It is so easy for us who have lost so much to think 10 pounds is no big deal - but it is.  I'm so glad you have only 10 pounds to get off - WE CAN DO (AND ARE DOING) THIS TOGETHER!!!!

Please join me in believing in you!!!!!

Thank you HappyLapBander, I know I can do this..I've come to far to stop now

(((Genie)))

You are a wonderful, beautiful person.  I know that you will find the strength within you to accomplish all of your goals.  You have been, and continue to be an inspiration to me. 

Hello Hope101 you are and inspiration to me as well.  Been missing you here on the boards, but I'm glad too see you're back.  The support here is overwhelming especially since I have none here at home.  Everyone is sitting around waiting for me to fail.  "See I told you that surgery wasn't for you."  I will succeed and "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me."

Genie

Genie,

I know exactly how you feel I went to the doctor April 15th and I had gained 12 lbs in a year.  I was hurt.  The only thing that kept me from crying is that my daughter was standing there.  I came home and really did some soul searching about what I have been feeling and what I was putting in my mouth.  I put myself on a 1000 calorie per day and stepped up my exercise to 6 days per week.  I have lost 16lbs.  If I can call the devil a liar and kick it into gear after 17 years on this journey then so can you.  I am pulling for you girl you have come too far there is no turning back. 

Hello Kimberly, and thank you for your words of encouragement, and yes I know that I can do this.  Right now I'm doing 1200 a day, so I shouldn't miss 200 calories if I plan my meal correctly along with some butt kicking exercising.

I can so understand how you feel, Genie!  Sometimes it takes something like that to make us really look at ourselves as others do.  Since hitting my lowest weight, I have been bouncing around with about 6-8 pounds.  While for some people that doesn't seem like much, to those of us who have gone through so much to get where we are, it is a lot...and it is a reminder that it won't take much (if we let it) to get back to where we were.  Use this as a positive thing...a "kick in the pants"...to get back "on track" and get those 10 pounds off.  YOU CAN DO IT!  Remember, we are all in this together...we are here to help and cheer each other on!  :)