I'm a New BOTT and need to come out of the closet.

Hi all.  Here is my story:  I had RNY surgery in October of 2006.  I started at 293 and lost 122 lbs.  A year later I had a lower body lift and lost a few more pounds.  The bad news started for me when I took my first drink of alcohol about 6 months after my bypass surgery.  There was a perfect storm in place:  empty nest syndrome, transfer addiction, husband's neglect and daughter's suicide attempt.  I found myself alone all the time and quickly realized that alcohol had become a huge problem for me.  For the past year and a half I've been struggling with this seeking help through AA, counseling and a Christian recovery program.  So far I've learned a lot but haven't come close to getting a handle on it.  In the meantime I've managed to gain 50 lbs. and it has now just become obvious to me that I don't want this extra weight nor do I want it to continue.  So I'm here to get BOTand since this website was my lifeline before I had surgery and in the weeks and months following I thought I should come back here and see if I could find some help.  Any encouragement and help would be appreciated.  I'm going to try to do the pouch test this week and really commit myself to staying sober.
Thanks for reading my post!

Welcome Back Shirtthegirl,
You have shown great courage in recognizing and admitting that you have a problem.  I am not a counsler, but I do have strong faith in knowing and believeing that with prayer, strength, faith in yourself, courage and support you can do anything. 

I remember when we were preparing for surgery their were things that we had to do to prepare ourselves to make that change in order to make it to the surgeons table.  Some of us had to give up cigarettes, some of had to give up drinking and some had to give up other things.  While I was not a smoker, I did had a small glass of wine on occassion with dinner.  Since my surgery, its been almot three years and I haven't had a drink; not because I can't but because I chose not too.

We struggle everyday with life's little demons, and family crisis's, but you are the most important person you know.  I realize your need to help your family and the struggle with the situations, but you must first help yourself and love yourself before you can help anyone else.  Love yourself first, take some me time.  Instead of taking a drink...take a walk...go window shopping...visit us here at the board.  There is always an open line for support here.

So glad you have came out of the closet. Remember you are not alone in this struggle. Many people take up another addiction.  My addition is shopping at thrift stores and chocolate. Both can be unhealthy. I know I can not eat one bite of chocolate or I will lose control. My husband was an alcoholic so I have seen the struggles they face. I feared my own daughter was going to have the problem after Gastric Bypass too. I think she did for awhile but now God has opened other doors for her.  I have a son who has had problems similar to your daughter's since he was 7.  He is now 28. I have worked with teen girls in juvenile detention for over 22 years. I see how they try to make their Mom's feel guilty. Get your daughter help but don't for one minute take any of the blame. Beleive me I know first hand this is hard. Think of yourself First for if you are not healthy you can not help anyone else. Make you happy and the rest will fall in place.  Pray until something happens. If you can't handle it anymore turn it over to God. I had to do this with my son ! I pray everyday he will get his life together. I just know I can not be an enanbler to him. I need to work on my own life. We take care of everyone else and put ourselves last. That is a woman thing. Please let us know how you are doing. I will be praying for you too. Here's that song again. " I'M COMING OUT ! I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW ! I'm GOING TO LET IT SHOW ! I'M COMING OUT " . Here's to a new day ! My best advice is to journal your food and feelings. You will soon see them triggers.  See you sober and lighter ! Joanne

First off Shirlthegirl, let me begin by giving you a BIG virtual hug!!!!!!!!! (I hope you feel it because I'm squeezing tight) .  Second, I am SO proud of you that you have decided to come out of the closet which only show s that you are one step closer to the finish line. 

You are NOT alone in this struggle and we are all here for you. 

Keep your head up and remember there is nothing between you and reaching your goals but air and opportuity.  Keep it moving girl!

I hear ya'!  I had RNY in May 2005 and did well.  I had a "little" drinking problem before and after about 2 years post op it raged right on back.  I am now a recovering alcoholic and have been sober thru AA for 13 months.  Transfering addiction fr addiction over and over has been my pattern.  I now feel that thru both AA and my awesome BOTT buddies I am on the right road.  And believe me it is a beautiful, happy, healthy road!!  I am loving life and wake each morning full of energy, hope and joy!  I could go on and on about how AA has saved my life but that is for another forum!!  Just know that there are nothing but empty promises and even more empty carbs in alcohol!!

Thank you for posting.  We all need each other, and even though our issues may differ a little or a lot, we understand and do not judge.  Although I'm not very successful w/ BOT, I come here every day just to read everyone's posts and stay connected.