I was "there" once

During the preparation stages before having my RNY, I had a period of probably about a month where I was so "there"> you know what I mean?  There---the place we all want to be--where we don't even look at the dessert menu at the restaurant, don't eat one bite past being full, don't break any of the "rules" our doctors give us, and we do it all without any hesitation, without having to force ourselves.  I was there.  And somehow I lost it.  And I haven't seen it since.  ever since I lost it, almost two years ago, I have had to force myself to do anything right.  I really want the candy and crap, and I don't want to exercise.  How do I get my mind back to that wonderful place where I can truly say nothing tastes as good as thin feels?  Gosh I miss that place.  It was great to feel in control of myself.  I have lost almost all faith in myself that I'll ever get my mind and body straight again. 
Just had to vent how I'm feeling today.  Thanks for reading.

Hi,

We probably have all had those wow "there" moments in our past.  I used to be on an emotional rollercoaster.  I'd be so depressed one minute and very happy the next.  I'd think, there...... that's where I want to stay.  OR, before wls, I would be on a diet doing great and I'd think, there..... it's going to work this time.  So, been there......  Anyway, you said you lost it two years ago.  What was going on in your life back then?  You don't have to tell me, but think about it.  Something happened that triggered the "I want it all" thinking.  Have you talked to anyone about that?  Also, carbs are addicting that's for sure.  I wish they weren't so good myself.  I have an empty carb issue.  Similar to yours but not exactly.  I have my ups and downs.  Sometimes.. now this is weird... when it hits, my brain goes completely numb.  No thoughts, no feelings, just, like, turns off.  This happens when that carb trigger kicks in.  After, I have satisfied that craving, my brain kicks back in and it's life as usual.  Weird huh?  I know I didn't really help much, but at least you know you aren't alone.

I don't remember what happened to make me change back then..........maybe I will have something recorded in my journal if I go back and look.  I remember going to my pre-WLS support group and saying that I finally get it....that I can just take some deep breaths and get through my cravings, that I can keep a clear perspective on what I want to be--healthy and thin....and then I don't know what happened but all my perspective slipped away and a month later I was gaining instead of losing.  My surgeon almost cancelled my surgery, but I cried, and he caved in.  I almost wish he hadn't.....but it's done now. 

Hi,

Well, sounds like you may have a food addiction of sorts.  I know there are some really great tools out there for people with food addictions/disorders.  I am going to give you a link to research and maybe you can talk to some folks there that could give you some ideas.

http://www.crchealth.com/

I hope this helps.

I too am a sweet carbaholic I am applying some of the rules from the Becks Diet solution and it seems to be helping,read up on it on line and see if it will help you too or you can probally get the book on line,library etc...

That's funny you mentioned it because I actually bought that book last week and have not looked at it yet.  It's too late to read anything today, my eyes are barely open, so I will make a goal to look at it tomorrow.  Thanks for the reminder!