I'm Failing at this...

 

I really appreciate you trying to help me!  My biggest obstacle right now (regarding my weight) is the hunger.  I know head hunger is a very real thing, but generally speaking, I don’t struggle with it.  I’ve had a satiety problem since I was an infant.  My mom even took me to the pediatrician because I was constantly crying for milk.  The pediatrician said to feed me as often as I needed and that I would grow out of it.  Nope, never did.  I didn’t sleep through the night until I was almost 3 years old and then, I had to have a late night snack before bed or I couldn’t sleep due to the hunger.  When I was about 5 years old (this is the first time I realized there was a problem and the “oh ****" look on my mom’s face startled me).  I was at a Christmas dinner with lots of family members.  There was food all over the place.  I ate as much food as the adult men at that party, and I just kept on eating.  Eventually, I ate so much that my stomach couldn’t hold anymore and I rushed to the bathroom to throw up.  My mom came in after me to make sure I was ok.  She saw that I just overate and she said, “I told you to stop eating when you felt full".  I looked up at her and said, “But I’m still hungry".  She had that “oh ****" look on her face and after that day, my family and I tried desperately to find out why I lacked a satiety signal.  My doctor even put me on “appetite suppressants" when I was in 2^nd grade.  I didn’t really get meds… it was a vitamin C supplement that they gave me.  They wanted to try the placebo effect or trick my mind into believing it was to control hunger.  It did not work (we gave it a good 3 months before accepting that it wasn’t working).  I was sent for a psych eval. and she felt that I was struggling with physiologic hunger and psychological hunger/cues.  Certain diseases like Prader-Willie Syndrome lack a satiety signal but I didn’t fall into those categories.  If I waited a while to eat (say 4-5 hours between meals), I get sick.  First I get shakey, then I get a headache, and then around the 4-5 hour mark, I start to get nauseated and will vomit stomach acid.  I also get painful stomach cramps (like Charlie horses but in the stomach muscle).  Those are so painful and it makes me vomit even more.  At that point, the only thing I can keep down is a cracker or two.  Once I digest that, I can get down a bit more, and then I’ll be able to eat a meal.  I have struggled with this my whole life.  I do get frustrated when people try to say it’s in my head (I’ve seen 4 psychiatrists/psychologists because of how severe the hunger is and all suggested appetite suppressants because they feel it is physiological, not head hunger).  I know that head hunger exists and that a lot of bariatric patients deal with it, but uncontrollable hunger or lack of satiety does exist for some.  It’s not terribly common but my surgeon refers to me as “the hungriest person on earth" and the psychiatrist for his office said that there are a few people post-RNY that do not have control over their hunger (that the surgery doesn’t touch it).  They predicted it wouldn’t help me and sure enough, it didn’t.  Oddly though, the lap-band did help my hunger dramatically.  There were days (when I was at my sweet spot) that I’d forget to eat.  It was remarkable.  They felt that the band put pressure on the ghrelin producing cells and interfered with their output… or maybe the vagus nerve was compressed by the band and it controlled hunger that way.  Who knows, but I do believe the sleeve would have been better for my than RNY because with the sleeve, the ghrelin-producing cells are mostly removed.

 

So, it turned out to be a rather long explanation, but I thought I should throw that out there so you guys know what I’m dealing with on a daily basis.  You are right about being firm with myself (yell at myself if I’m reaching for that red ball or another plate of food).  I should take every 5 minutes in stride and try to set goals or something to help me get through the day.  I am not in school right now and I don’t have a lot of distractions (other than my other health problems like adrenal insufficiency, migraines, chronic pain, and Interstitial Cystitis).  I do get reactive hypoglycemia and each meal must have protein and complex carbs and I was told I should eat every 2 hours (3 hours max between meals).  I’m just so hungry that while I choose healthy things, the size of my “meals" every 2-3 hours is too big.  Oh… almost forgot to mention, the salad dressing thing.  I am on medication that dries out my eyes, nose and mouth.  So, I have dry mouth (cotton mouth) pretty bad sometimes.  Lettuce is too dry for me.  I used to love this fat free ranch and they changed the recipe and it’s nasty now.  I do love a light ranch (by 2 or 3 different brands).  I try to use it sparingly.  I can’t use too much dressing due to vinegar anyways (my bladder problem has a diet that I must follow).  I used to put mandarin oranges on my salad which gave it more “juice" and I could get away with less dressing, but I can’t have oranges anymore.  I can have pears, so a real juicy one could work on a salad, but the pears are not so hot right now. 

 

Anyways, I am rambling (I can do that sometimes!).  I know everyone struggles with their weight and eating post-op (for different reasons).  I am lucky that I don’t have other people in my home, so food choices can be whatever I want/need.  So, I have a healthy kitchen and that is a major advantage.  Once in a blue moon I do get a sweet tooth.  When I had my band, it was every 4-6 weeks (and I’d treat myself to an ice cream treat… usually a Reeces Sonic Blast).  Lately, I have not been wanting sweet things.  I have been craving beef like you can’t imagine!  They thinks it’s due to my anemia, but man, I can’t get enough beef these days!  I haven’t had steak since I was in 4^th grade (when I started to become a vegetarian).  I have had steak on several occasions and man it’s wonderful!  In terms of my diet, I also have to be careful that I don’t have too much protein (and too little carb).  I can’t put my body into ketosis so my NUT said I have to get at least 100g of carbohydrate/day if I am eating around 800 calories/day.  She also said that my metabolism is very low and for someone my age and size (5’8" and large boned), it’s not that easy to eat so little when your body screams to eat more.  I can cope with the hunger (with a firm fist) for a few days but then I can’t handle it anymore and progressively eat more.  I’ve been on and off diets my whole life (since 5 years old).  I am so fed up with dieting.  If I wasn’t so bleeping hungry, I’d be doing so much better weight wise.  I see my PCP in about 2 weeks and we’ll see about the appetite suppressant.  I am nervous about taking a medication like that but I can’t live like this anymore.  We need to do something!

Well, I’ll stop rambling!  I just thought if I explained my weight/hunger history it might help you guys understand my struggle (and maybe there is someone out there dealing with the hunger problem too).  And no, the hunger doesn’t have anything to do with carbs.  I’ve gone on low-carb diets and the hunger never eases up and I’ve blacked out because of the hypoglycemia and not getting enough glucose to the brain.  So… I have some diet hurdles to deal with too.  I am trying so hard to find the right balance…

 

Well thanks again for all the support and advice!  I don’t mean to be difficult, but I wanted you to know what I’m up against!  It makes for a challenge, that’s for sure!

 

I hope you have a great day!  It’s another beautiful day here in South Florida.  I think I’m going to go sit out on my patio for a bit!  Thanks again!

Thank you for taking the time to give us your hunger details.