Food. The love/hate relationship. (a reflection)

I know I'm not the only one thinking/feeling this. But I had the rest of that wrap for a snack and while it was a healthy snack and all... it got me to thinking. (and EGADS work is so slow)

I love food. I like the sensation of eating and tasting. I don't necessarily like the feeling of being full (maybe I equate it with overfull) because I think I've had too much. But I also hate feeling deprived. I'm starting to make different food choices as I BOTT, but that age old love/hate thing keeps popping back in my brain.

I love junk food too.   Gimmie a handful of Cheeze-its or Goldfish. I am a crack(er) adict. Likely its more an addiction to bad carbs than much else, but I do enjoy that crunchy feeling. I do hate that greasy coating it leaves on l my tongue and lips. That pizza at the lunch line does tempt me so, and then I go get a wrap instead. Do I feel deprived? I'm not so sure. I do eat the wrap and enjoy it. But sometimes the pizza taunts me in the back of my mind. I sometimes find myself wondering if I can work the rest of the day's diet around a slice of pizza. Its a poor choice and I always seem to be able to forego that sicillian slice for something better.

So what am I saying? I guess that I love eating. But I hate feeling (over)full. I also hate the guilt of eating the wrong foods. I wonder if I'm going to find that balance of loving what I eat and eating the right stuff. It seems like a struggle right now which makes getting BOTT difficult.  There are certain good foods and Iove and certain junk foods I hate. And vise versa. Hmm. Maybe I'm more saying... I love food and I hate that there are bad foods out there to tempt me so!  It probably wouldn't be so bad if I could forget what was so tastey about them.

In the end, I suppose if eating the right food was easy, we wouldn't have junk out there. Rather than greasy burgers and chilli fries, there'd just be gyros and baked chicken. I miss the bad stuff, but it made me feel nasty.  Both emotionally and physically. And then you wonder what the point was. I wish I could maintain that feeling, that feeling of "what was the point" all the time. Then I'd look at that slice and remember how yucky I felt the last time. Rather than how good it'll taste this time. Temptation is out there everywhere you look in this country. I wi**** had a little disclaimer... (Psst... what's the point?)  How helpful would that be?

Well while I dream of a world built for post-ops, I'll sip my water and hope to stave off temptation for another day. Thanks for reading.

AMEN!!

Good grief - you are human LOL  It's all in our thinking - sometimes we think good thoughts and sometimes we don't.  When you begin to think not-so-good thoughts, start with 100 and count backwards by 7.  Now most of us, unless we're math whizzes, don't know our 7s forward very well and don't know them backwards at all - I can say 100 --- 97 and then I have to think.  It's just a little trick that helps us interrupt those not-so-good thoughts.  Give yourself credit for thinking good thoughts - even part of the time.