I have a serious problem

With chocolate.
A few weeks ago, I was BOT and it was easy. I felt good. Yesterday and today it has been so hard, and today I went WAY overboard. WAY WAY WAY overboard.
I feel horified and ashamed. I haven't felt this bad about the way I have eaten since before surgery. I am so scared this is the beginning of a downward spiral of poor choices. What if I can't stop myself? I can't go back to where I was. I would just die.
Please someone slap me around or something. I don't know what it is going to take to get BOT.

You can stop yourself, I know you can.  This is just a relapse.  If you accept the fact that relapses are part of your journey, then you will not give over your power to it.  Don't feel ashamed, this just makes you want to eat more.  Remember it is just a RELAPSE, that is all.  You can do this!

 No, no, no - Sorry - No slapping around here, my friend.   You just slapped yourself around and you can see that isn't working  So how about doing something different

First off, forgive yourself for being human - I know being human can be a real bother, but we seem to be stick with that - at least for this lifetime

Take today 5 minutes at a time - we can do (or not do) almost anything for just 5 minutes.  When that 5 minutes has passed -CELEBRATE  Some days BOTT for 5 minutes earns a celebration as much, or perhaps more, than 24 hours on another day.  Then 5 minutes again CELEBRATE again etc etc etc.  What it's going to take is loving yourself enough to be accepting, gentle and firm.

Don't know if you have children or not - if not, please pretend you do.  If your child was about to do something hurtful to herself (we'll pretend your child is a girl) - for example - run out in the street to get her favorite toy- a red ball - and a car was fast approaching - you would not say, "Honey, would you like to stay on the sidewalk? or Are you comfortable staying on the sidewalk?  You wouldn't shame her.  NO WAY  You would expect her to mind you and stay on the sidewalk and if she even looked like she might dash out into the stree you would grab her to keep her safe!  Why, because you love her.  But when it comes to our food, we have such a double standard!  Why, because we don't love ourselves enough to be kind, but firm with ourselves.  So, for today, try taking that kind of loving care of the little girl inside of you.  (We all have that little child inside of us that needs us to take care of them)

You can do it - I believe in you - now, please join me in believing in yourself.

WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER - YES WE CAN   (If you're comfortable doing it, please keep us posted on your progress with this change in behavior )

O.K., stop being so hard on yourself.  You have identified the problem, now take the time to deal with it.  I get crazy with certain things too, we're human!  When I would find myself on a "run" with eating,  I would get so mad that I just keep eating it, "to punish myself".  Now,  I look at that food and say NO MORE, it did not taste that good and I don't need it!  You can do this!  
Deb