Why can't we just eat when we're hungry?

Hi everyone, I'm new to this group.  :)  I just passed my 3 year RNY anniversary and have had my ups and down over the past couple of months for a few reasons.   I joined yesterday after lurking for a bit, but after reading many of the posts on this board (Most of them hitting home to me), the WLS Grads board and the diet and nutrition board, I wanted to open up a topic near and dear to our hearts: Emotional Eating... and what makes us all eat?  I am an emotional eater, have been since I was little, I think almost all of us have a story to tell about why we eat out of our emotions.  But I want to take this opportunity to put on the record what is making me eat, not out of hunger, but out my emotions...and this is a very hard thing for me to open up about, but here it goes.  Accountability right here. 

I eat when I am stressed at work or home.  Tasks looming, financial issues, feeling overwhelmed.

I eat when I am upset with someone, or if someone has hurt my feelings, or out of guilt.

I eat when I'm lonely and feel helpless.  I eat after I cry.  I eat when I am bored. 

I eat when I'm having a great time with friends, and we're all just eating crap together. 

I eat when I think I've lost control over my diet/nutrition (this is almost an oxymoron right here, but it's true)

There it is, for everyone to see.  I know with the above list, the more of these feelings I feel, the more I eat....and the frequency of these feeling has increased over the past few weeks....it's been a real uphill battle.  Now if I try to rate them, there are few that are right on top, constantly.

I promise this is definitely not a boo-hoo fest, but just something that I think we can all open up about, put it on the table and maybe come up with some great alternatives when hit with these emotions.... 

Can you relate?  What makes you eat? 

(And you can write me back and call me nuts, I won't mind, lol)  hahah

*hugs*

~Shannon

I think the main reason I eat is when I am bored. I need to go see a shrink about this but not sure where to even begin to look for 1, plus it's like I failed.
I know that sounds weird but it's true.

Some people make me eat also. Just their presence makes me start to put things in my mouth.

I'm not the type of person that likes to dig deep into my feelings.
I avoid that at all costs.

thats the main reasons I eat.

You haven't failed, you just took a big step by posting this!  It takes a lot to post things like this, it really does, but truly you are not alone.... we are not alone.  Emotions are hard to talk about.... and trying to talk to someone who hasn't had surgery.... it's even more difficult. 

But I can say that there is one person in my life that seriously puts me down the path of crazy emotional eating, I didn't know if anyone could relate to me on that, but I'm glad you posted your reason, because I can relate 100%. 

Hi Shannon,

You can feel safe to come here and share what ever.  WE DON'T SLAM OR FLAME HERE!!!

I have done all the things you said above and then some...  We often spend so much time with the food and losing the weight and we don't deal with the issues that causes us to eat in the first place.

You need to get back to the basics and take baby steps my friend.  Take a look at some of the docs we have in the blog section....  If you don't, get back to journaling, and put a plan together to combat your eating.

I have told myself, Kathy just because you can doesn't mean you should.  I told myself when my husband was laid up and I couldn't go to the gym I deserved to eat bad things, after all boo oho me.  All that did was make me feel worst and then I would eat more and decided I was a failure...  It's a ugly Merry Go Round....

I made a list as you did and then took one at a time and listed alternative ways to turn away from food.

What shocked me was when I ate right, and exercise I was able to handle the stress better.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!  We are here to help anyway we can?

Take care,
Kathy

Thank you so much kathy for the warm welcome.

I needed to hear those words, thank you. :)

Shannon, I can write "ditto" after every single line you wrote about what cir****tances/emotions make you eat.

In addition, so much of my life has been defined by my weight (either losing or gaining, never maintaining, gaining attention--in a sick way--by being different from everyone else, even thought I was miserable, etc., etc.)  When I finally got down to my goal, it was like I didn't know "how to be"!  I was very, very happy--don't get me wrong--but I do think I had some weird sense of loss of identity, if that makes any sense.  So I think on some level, I sabotaged myself and started gaining.  And I'm  having a really, really hard time getting a grip.

I'm feeling old & discouraged!  (I just turned 59 last week.)  A couple yrs. ago, when I was at my goal, I felt younger than I had in decades; now I feel almost as bad about myself as I did before surgery, even though I know in my head that that's ridiculous. 

Gee, can you tell I'm in a funk?   I really am tired tonight and am on my way to bed, but I just wanted to take a min. to let you know how right on your post was for me!

OH Jo,

You are not old, just feeling old right now...  Things can turn around, take one thing and try and work on it and then another and before you know it you will be Back On Track......

Here I think you need a hug  

Take care,
Kathy

Thanks, Kathy.  I can always count on your support and always feel better after a cyber-hug!  I really appreciate all your posts and know that you put in so many hours lifting all of us up, encouraging us when we're down, and cheering us on when we're successful!!

Hi Jo,  i have these days as well.  I get so discouraged and yes, I feel like I sabotage myself from time to time.  I have even been getting bouts of depression which rarely happened to me before surgery.  I think it is a big adjustment and sometimes we feel like we are living someone else's life because this can't be ours????  Take care, Robin

Hi Jo! Thank you for opening up and sharing, it's a great feeling to know that we are not alone in this.  I honestly can relate to much of what you wrote, especially with the "not knowing how to be" after losing the weight... I still do struggle with that, I really do. 

It's weird, all I've ever know is being overweight.... now that I am not anymore, it's really interesting how people treat me, react to me, etc.... 

I think we are all in a funk..l vote that we all help each other get out of our funks!!

It's Get out of Funk Day!