Introductions and confessions

Hi everyone!  MelissaF invited me to join BOTT and I can tell you, I sure need to be here.  I am a stay at home mom to Annalise (3) and Isaac (1) and almost a 10yr wls (rny) veteren.  (Wow, has it been that long???)  At 20 years old I found myself 403lbs and asking my pcp about diet pills.  He ignored my question and sent me to a seminar for the rny.  3 months later I was on the table.  Looking back, I know I was too young and not committed enough.  I thought I would eventually be able to eat whatever I wanted in smaller amounts (and sadly I headed straight in that direction.)  In 2 years I lost 190lbs to 211 (which I saw for about a week, and eventually settled at 225 for a year or so).  I was in college at the time and living on fast food, junk food, and diet soda.  Over the past 7 years I have let a humiliating 95lbs creep back on.  I was convinced I had broken my tool as the my surgeon's nurse had told me once "Oh, its pretty much impossible to gain wt!"  Ummm, ok, so guess I proved that one wrong!  I felt alone in my failure.

I have to run start supper, but I will be back to finish this if you are still reading!

Hi Donna,

I am new to this board as well, and am in some much needed help too. I had an absolutely beautiful baby girl just short of 8 mo ago; However, the baby weight roughly 45 lbs is hangin around, and steadily increasing. and have no clue where to start. I feel outta control and need to get back to basics. Hopefully we will get there. 


Goodluck


jess

Thanks for the reply, Jess.  Congratulations on the baby!!  Isn't being a mommy the greatest???  I need to get back to the basics too.  I have tried "Atkin's style" plans and "Biggest Loser" style and I need to quit trying to "diet" like the rest of the world and realize I have GOT to make the changes I never really made after surgery.  Which leads me back to where I was going.......

Oh yeah, 5 months after WLS I was put in the hospital and diagnosed with cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure.  The first thing that tipped me off that something wasn't right was I completely stopped losing weight.  When they put me on diuretics I lost 50lbs in 2 weeks....I'd been losing weight, but gaining fluid all along.  Its almost like wls took the back burner in my life as I focused on my heart problem.  I had to withdraw from college and wasn't allowed to work as I spent a year at home recovering.  (Now my heart is almost at normal function and I am no longer in chf...praise the Lord!) 

Somewhere along the road, my old demons began to resurface and I once again soothed my soul with food, except with my drastically reduced capacity, I found it all to easy to purge.  So now I find myself trapped in a seemingly endless cycle of binging and purging.  I don't know that I would be labeled and all out bulimic b/c I don't purge out of a fear of gaining weight, but because I have A. eaten too much, B. not chewed well enough, or most commonly, C. BOTH.  All too often I throw-up "good food" and turn to those pouch-easy sliders of simple carbs when I am hungry an hour later.  When the kids are nuts in the grocery store, I reach for a candy bar in the check-out line.  (The very same way I used to sneak candy bars and chips when my parents were fighting when i was a kid.)  I rarely dump...it takes like regular ice cream to make me dump.  :(  I never should have tested it.

So there they are....my demons for everyone to see.  But I feel like I need to share them so I can face them.  I know what I need to be doing....I am just still trying to figure out HOW to do it.  I am looking forward to many new friendships as we support each other on our journeys.

Veteren Newbie,
Donna

Hi, Donna.
Welcome. It's nice to meet you. I'm sure it's hard to see a gain, but at least you're getting back on track now. You said you needed to get back to basics. If you look at the message bar at the top of this forum page, from Cathy, that says something like "Information and guidelines," and click to open that message, you'll then see some links to postings. One you'll definitely want to check out is the "Back to Basics" one. It will help you, I'm sure. :)
Blessings,
Mary

Thank you, Mary.  I will go check it out right now.  And I LOVE the quote in your siggy!  How often do I whine to Him how big my storm is?????

Hi, Jess.
Welcome! Be sure to check out my answer to Donna, as I think you'll be interested in the Back to Basics information, as well. :)
Blessings,
Mary

To each and every one of you new folks - a great big WELCOME and an assurance you have come to the right place to get help.  I have never found a more positive, caring, supportive and accepting group of people anywhere.  We don't give ultimatums - just suggestions.

First of all, know without doubt that getting off track does not mean you are a hopelessly wretchedly rotten person - it simply means you are a human being - and human beings are not perfect.

I had my lap band surgery 3+ years ago and am in the process of  successfully losing the weight I had regained over the past year.  This group has made all the difference in the world in my success.  With their support and caring I have been able to get back on track and stay on track.

First of all, don't look back at what might of been or forward to what MUST be - just stay in the here and now.  We all know the basics (may need to review them, but we know them) start off with a 5-minute commitment to stay on track - now most all of us can do most anything for 5 minutes - then a fresh 5 minute commitment etc etc etc  and before you know it you've been on track for an hour.

Don't know if you are all parents or not, but if now just please pretend with me.  If your child was doing something to harm themselve, you - out of love - would tell them to stop. You wouldn't say, "Stop if you want to", or "Stop if it isn't too hard" or "Oh well, you went ahead and did it once so you might just as well keep doing it."  No, you'd tell them, unconditionally to STOP and expect them to mind you.  Yet, when it comes to our eating, we have a double standard.  Might it be we need to love ourselves more?

Shaming ourselves just doesn't work - makes it even harder to get back on track and stay there.  Welcome to BOTT where you will never be shamed and will always be accepted.  Do unto yourself as YOU WOULD DO UNTO OTHERS.  You wouldn't begin to shame a friend going thru the same thing - so, please love and accept yourself - 5 minutes at a time.  You've done the hardest part - you've reached out for help.  I believe in you, please believe in yourself

Have a good BOTT day.

Jeffrey
  Hey there thanks for the words of encouragement.  Five minutes at a time and sometimes seconds at a time.  Thanks Susan T.

You're sure welcome!  Glad I could help  We're all in the same boat here. 

WE CAN DO THIS TOGEHTER, YES WE CAN 

Good Morning!

First and foremost, welcome to the board!  You will find the most supportive bunch of people here, they always seem to have great advice and truly do care about every ones success!

We are all here because at some point, for some reason fell off the wagon!  I was doing extremely well and was very happy with myself and my weight prior to becoming pregnant (it was a planned pregnancy, and I would do it again in a heart beat, and plan to in a couple years), but found that it has been EXTREMELY hard to lose the rest of the baby weight!  While I was preggers, I was able to eat ANYTHING, and carbs were my best friend and really the only thing that I was able to keep down for sometime!  I am now having to break the habit and get back to the basics.

I know it was already said, but the links provided by Cathy on the top of the bard offer a lot of good advise...

Here is wishing you the absolute best!  Have a great BOTTing day!
Denise