Why can't I get with the program?

I'm only 4 months out and have lost 60 pounds but only 8 pounds in the last month.  I seriously need some help here to get back on track.  I forget vitamins, or eat too many carbs, or don't exercise or don't drink all my water.  What is wrong with me?  Everyday I wake up and say to myself "today you will work the program" and everyday I screw up.  What the hell did I have this surgery for if I don't work it!!!!!!

I'm very frustrated with myself and feel like I'm back to the diets that didn't work before surgery. 

Please don't flame me - I do such a good job on myself!!

Diane

Hi Diane,

The only flaming you are going to get from me, is for being so dang hard on yourself :)  WE are all here because somewhere along the line we fell off the wagon, you will find that this bunch is a very caring and supporting group of people!  You have definitely come to the right place if you are looking to get back on track!

I find that the daily Cafe and Cardio post really helps me stay on track!  Knowing that I am going to be posting what I have eaten and such, makes me feel 'pressured' (in a good way) to stay on track!

Hope you have a wonderful BOTTing day!
Denise

I'm not sure what flaming is but it sounds as though it might equal "scolding"  or putting you down in some way.  I can assure you you will find none of that here.  This is the most amazingly positive, caring, supportive and accept group of people I've ever come across.  Could it be that the reason you are having such a struggle to stay on track is because you are so busy putting yourself down?  What would you say to a friend in the same situation?  Back off from beating yourself over the head and simply be a loving caring friend to yourself.

First of all, losing 2 pounds a week is not "failing"  Celebrate your success.  Being formerly fat human beings - we all want to mystically magically lose every ounce (well maybe we'd be willing to tolerate a left over pound or two still to lose LOL) overnight. 

Secondly, don't look at how much you still want to lose and the time that will take (a trap I can so easily fall into), don't commit for a day - or even an hour - commit for 5 minutes - then another 5 minutes - then another .....  We can do most anything successfully for 5 minutes.  And right now, staying on track for 5 minutes is cause for a major celebration and a big pat on the back.

Don't know if you have children or not - but for this, at least pretend you do.  If your child was doing something to harm themselves you would tell them to quit.  You would not say, quit if you want to or Quit if you're comfortable quitting.  You would expect them to mind you.  Regardless of whether they liked quitting you would demand they quit because you love them and don't want them to harm themselves.  Somehow, when it comes to our food, we have a giant double standard about minding "quitting" demands.  Is it a double standard, or might it be we do not love ourselves?

I'm sorry if I've rambled on too much here - just feel sad when you feel a failure when you're not.  A human being - Yes   A failure - No!!!

You can do it - you have done it so that means you CAN do it.  I believe in you - now, please, believe in yourself

You need to ask yourself why do you sabotage yourself? what is is that you want?  Why do you overeat and eat the wrong food? Do you really want to lose weight or do you, on a subconscious level want to remain where you are? Do you punish yourself? Are you afraid to get thinner? Is someone in your surrounding make you uncomfortable for losing your weight?

I think we all deal with the same issues on and off.  Emotional eating, comfort eating, using fat as a "shield" (me - I did that for year), stuffing my face to deal with depression? 

You need to take a good look at yourself, your life, and your surrounding.  Maybe you can do it by yourself or maybe you can try to get some help (I do talk to my psych). 

The reasons why you do what you do  - are in you.  If you want to get fit - you need to answer questions: why do you sabotage yourself.

I started reading "Dr. Beck diet solution " and I find it very interesting (though I am just at the beginning f this book and exercises).  Also talking with a psychologist helps me deal with reasons why I sabotaged myself in the past... I hope this time will be different for me.  

We are all here because we need the support.  

That's an excellent question.  WHY can't you?  Are you afraid to succeed?  Have you been getting more compliments and it's making you uneasy?

NOW on the flip side, while you are flaming yourself, have you realized you have LOST 60lbs in 4 MONTHS!  That is such an awesome accomplishment, have you patted yourself on the back for doing that?

It looks like you have a few things to work on, like we all do, but my suggestion is to take JUST 1 THING and work on that.  Finish out TODAY, not tomorrow, and drink more water. or get in those vitamins.  Whatever it is just do it today for say a week.  Doing EVERYTHING at once can feel overwhelming, so just pick one!! 

You made the decision to have WLS to HELP you, but as you know you have to do your part!!  Keep us posted =)

Ms Shell

Thank you all for the advice and kind words.  Getting it out in the open has helped me stay on track today - can you believe that??  Again, thanks!