time to confess!!

So, here I am posting my food, my exercise, trying to stay motivated and upbeat I only have 20 lbs to get to my personal goal of 149.    So why oh why oh why did I stuff myself to the point of discomfort yesterday. 
It started out good oatmeal for breakfast, a half hearted session at the gym, but it was my 4th day this week, good protein snack after the gym, lunch was when it started, there were "just a few" tortilla chip crumbs in a bag, so I had them with chili.  Not too bad you say, but then the rest of the day!!!!!      NOT 1 but 2 pieces of shelly sf microwave chocolate cake with an icing like topping that I made,  then at dinner we had fish, good you say NOPE  it was battered, I had 2 pieces and some fries, cooked at home food so no added fats, but the 2 (yes 2) pieces of bread, not needed im sure!!!!!!    not done yet though  I also had crackers (god they are evil)!!!!!
What the hell was I thinking... I know that I am getting ready to start my period, but I cant really use that as an excuse.... and the really bad thing....  I liked it!!!!!!!
HELP IM A CARB ADDICT!!!!!!!!
Today I vow to step away from any and all bad carbs, and eat what I know I need!!!! 
Vivienne

Hey Vivienne! Realizing where you weakness are is a step in the right direction!  And zi think it was Cathy who posted last week about how important the day after a slip is for us...so you are starting out by stepping away and making healthful food choices.  One bad day can't undo all the good days you have had lately.  You can do, we can do it together!! Can't wait to hear about you posting how much bettter today goes for you.

Steph

You are so right, it is what I do the next day... I am trying to be good, but of course, working with a bunch of nurses--there is a potluck today.  I actually dont find any of it appealing, it is a salad potluck and everything, except the cinammon rolls and tortilla chips, is coated in dressing of 1 type or another.  I did have 2 strawberries and 6 grapes though!!!!
And so far I have drank 60 oz of water.
Vivienne

There is no one here who doesn't understand!  It's so-o-o hard to put it in print, which I commend you for doing! 

We are bad-carb addicts.  That's why this behavior "makes sense" to us, whereas it sounds insane to "normal" people.

It helps me to know that other BOTTers have days that are pretty much a total loss.  (Not that I want that for anybody, but you know what I mean.)  I sometimes feel like everyone else is doing such a good job of getting back on track while I'm really taking baby steps to pull myself out of the pit I was in.

Thanks for posting.  Now just get BOTT!!

Vivienne, we are here for you, one bad day will not set you into a tailspin..  As was preivously posted, the second day (today) is where you rein it back in.  I'm so proud of you for stepping up to it and acknowledging it.    It so much easier to climb under the covers and ignore it. Thats what I did for years.    I fight the carb demon.. My first 9 months post op, I had so limited number of carbs and thought I had it under control.  but the past 3 months its been much harder.   

One day, one meal, one bite at a time.    B****he few days before my cycle the same thing happens to me and its usually to late before I realize what is going on.    Keep us posted on how the rest of the weekend goes.  Maria

I think we can all say been there done that

I hate that out of control feeling and always wonder like you why I do that to myself!!! It sounds like you're having a much better day today, so Congratulations for not letting one bad eating day ruin the next day! I'd say thats making some good progress!!!!!!!!

Thank you all so very much for the understanding and help!!!!!
Today was an awesome day!!!  I planned all my meals, and stuck to it. The only change I made was I planned an evening at home snack after work of 1 cooked egg and 1 pc lunch meat, but the eggs took too long to cook, and the lunch meat smelled funny. So I made sf butterscotch pudding with added protein...YUMMY  I also added 1 tbs ff coolwhip, it works out to less calories and tastes really awesome.
I even managed 15 minutes of dedicated fast paced walking with 5 floors of stairs in the middle of the day!!!!!
Thank you all for the kindness shown today, it really helps knowing I am not alone in this.
Vivienne

There you go!!!!  I'm so proud of you

My grandmother used to say "There's nothing so bad but what there's a little good in it"  and it seems to me there's a lot of good in this.  You learned you really can have "really wretchedly rotten" day and get right back on the next day!   Don't know about you, but that was always my downfall in the past.  The "next day" could be as long as a year later.  

Isn't amazing the difference that having the support of all these BOTTers who have been there and done that and who understand and still care, support and accept us makes?

So glad today went well for you 

Congrats for getting back on track. 
Happy BOTTing!
Deb