Food for Thought

As part of my work to get back on track, I am currently seeing a therapist weekly along with a nutritionist. I had a NUT appt yesterday, and came out of it with some thoughts that I wanted to share because I'm sure that someone else out there is thinking the same way.

Anyway, my nutrition goal for the past week was to right down what I ate, the times that I ate, and whatever physical and emotional cues I could identify at the time. I did all of this. I still made some poor choices, but it all got down on paper.

So the NUT asked how my week was, and I said "not so good. I wrote everything down but it wasn't the best food choices." To which she replied, "so you met your goal."

HUH?? I actually had to think about that. My goal wasn't to eat perfectly each day. My NUT really is moving me along in little tiny baby steps. So I finally had to acknowledge that yes, I met my goal.

So why am I so intent on seeing the "bad" and not the progress? While that certainly has some deep emotional issues tied to it that I won't bore you with here, it has started me thinking about why I am harder on myself than on others.

I have difficulty with self-compassion and forgiveness. Somewhere I believe (maybe mistakenly) that if I forgive a "bad" food choice then I'm really just giving myself a pass to do it all over again; making it ok to make bad choices.

So this leads me to the really deep thought. How's that been working for me so far???  Does concentrating on the "bad" behavior really prevent me from doing it again? Well, no.............no it doesn't. So if I actually have some compassion and forgiveness for myself, might it lead me to different choices? I don't know, but maybe it's worth a try.

I don't have any answers, just a lot of questions. But this is certainly something that I'm pondering this week. Maybe, just maybe, it would be ok to be kind to myself.

What a concept!!!

Wendy

Hi Wendy! I can completely relate to what you're saying. I'm WAY harder on myself than I should be and tend not to be able to take a compliment or give myself a break if I've had bad eating behavior. I am generally a very positive, upbeat person with others, but get down on myself often. I'm never thin enough, I don't work out enough, my stomach isn't flat enough, blah blah blah......I could go on forever! I have also been trying to work on this so I can get to the point where if I do make a mistake in my eating I can forgive myself, pick myself up, dust off and move on to the next day or even the next moment doing better for myself. Its much easier to be kind to others than to ourselves and we are often our own worst enemies with the negative self talk and thoughts. I believe that working on being kinder to ourselves~mentally and physically~will help us to be more successful for the long haul, so I definitely think you're on to something there! Good Luck and Have a great day!!!!!!!!!

We do tend to shoot ourselves in the foot don't we? Self sabotage by seeing the bad in our own choices instead of a positive thing by meeting a set goal, I never even though about that side of just doing that simple task!!
All what you wrote made perfect sense to me. We should be happier that we ate some good nutrition for some of the day.
I don't look at my food choices as good for me either because after eating it I get the guilties about my "poor choice or the quantity" that I ate.
Thanks for the eye opener and now I see my glass is really half full  not empty :))

Great post to get us thinking! 

My therapist says to look in the mirror everyday and say that I love myself and maybe pick out a few other good things to focus in on.  I'm not only trying to be kinder to myself... I'm trying to get my daughters to do the same.  (I see so much of myself in my youngest.  It's scares me.)

Wendy, wow you could be me.  I would have said the same thing and felt bad about my food choices not that I accomplished the goal.  Thanks for posting... this is (forgive the pun) but amazing food for thought..   good weekend topic for my mind...  

Great job on your success... Maria

Thanks for posting this; I think it's excellent.

It's SO opposite the "black/white--good food/bad food--did great/did terrible--all/nothing" kind of thinking that so often sabotages me.  

You're so right--"has this been working for me?"--NO!