I'm nervous about a regain

This is my first post and I'm not sure if it's of topic but here goes.

I know we bounce back a few pounds after the loss stops, and I don't think that has happened to me yet but, I am now a year out from my RNY and I didn't rocket down to a smaller size and I've had many stalls that started right away as if my body was just hanging on to every ounce of fat  it could, in fact in the last six months I have only lost 22lbs for a total loss of only 89lbs since the day of my surgery (any loss before I have never counted), so where is the massive weight loss I was hoping for gone to??
I know some of you out there are thinking the same thing because its just not normal to not think the same thing as I do when you read about other peoples successful and massive weight losses.
I admit I get a little envious and jealous inside when I read about zoomers making goal in less than a year, then the worries kick in and my brain says screw it you'll never get into a size 10 jeans, and because my scales don't seem to move every week, it's screaming at me saying you will never even see a size 14!!
Then it starts in my head, did my surgeon not bypass me enough? Has my pouch stretched? Has my metabolism slowed to a snails pace again? Is it me? Is it my food choices? Am I eating too much? Did I not exercise enough this week? Is this all I get?  Am I going to regain every pound I lost? 
I hate dieting and never wanted to feel like I was on one after surgery, but honestly reading the blogs of failed WLS had made me wonder if I'm headed that way.
I was wondering Is such thing as a slower than slow weight loss success story out there?
I need to get back on track in my mind and reassurance about these head games I am playing with myself and I also need to come to terms with these anxieties I have about loss and regain of weight. 
Thanks for letting me vent

Voicing your concerns is a good step in the right direction.  If  you don't already attend a support group, I suggest joining one.  If you don't see a therapist, perhaps you should consider it.  They can give more individualized guidance.

I have a lot of the same worries.  I had a discussion with a co-worker yesterday that really made me think about where I'm at.  He said he could see it in my eyes that I've lost my motivation to go any further with my weight loss.  That was a slap in the face but one I needed!  So last night, I wrote 3 pages of "Why I had the surgery".  It helped me refocus on what I wanted to achieve.  To be honest, I haven't gotten to the scale number I was hoping for, but I have achieved a majority of the "Whys" that I had written.  Sure, I'm not at 180 and in a size 12, but can I be happy with where I'm at???  If I can be, then there really isn't a driving force to get me to 180.  I need to do some serious soul searching and figure out exactly what it will take for me to be happy with myself.

Best wishes,
Kris

Kris - How wise you are   Sometimes we get so hung up on a number on the scales that we totally miss reality.  I have no doubt you can achieve 180 if you really want to (and if you do, you can still be happy with yourself right where you are each day) but if you find you really don't want to THAT'S OK TOO. 

And, there's nothing that says if you decide you want to lose a bit more later you can't do that.

Thanks so much for sharing such an important idea - gives all of us "thought for food"

Have a fine fine BOTT day

I notice Dr. Lord is your surgeon too.  Isn't he wonderful!    I suggest you give him a call.  He's always made time for me and spent however much time I needed to get my questions answered.  I had my lap band 3 years ago and have always found  him caring and concerned.

Just focus on the truth that the shortest distance between top points is a straight line.  Point 1 is what you weighed when you began this process (including what you lost before surgery) and Point 2 is where you want to be.   I'll just bet you are a LOT closer to Point 2 now than you are to Point 1.

Also, losing 89 pounds is no small achievement!  When you first saw Dr. Lord how would you have felt at that weight if he made you a "written-in-blood" guarantee you would lose 89 pounds.  Would you have said, "Forget it - it isn't worth it because it isn't enough"?  I don't think so. 

You have two choices - 1.  Focus on what you have accomplished  or   2-Focus on not being where you want to be   I invite you to choose #1 - talk with Dr. Lord & Jan - keep doing what is working - face the inconvenient truth that calories still count just like they did before surgery.  We really only still have three ways to weigh less - we must eather take in fewer calories - burn more calories - or do both.

When you use your head to focus on the positives there just isn't any space left there to rent to the neagatives.

Thanks so much for trusting us enough to "confess" you are a little shaky with your comittment   right now - we've all been there.

WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER, YES WE CAN