What the EFF is wrong with me!

Surgery date 2/8/08.

I was doing TERRIFIC. Going to curves 4 days a week, taking the dogs to the park on the weekends walking sometimes 3 miles.

Then BANG everyone starts telling me how good I looked, I lost 80+ lbs. (starting weight 320).

Next thing you know, I'm eating ww fudgicles. Then onto cookies, etc. Now I can eat 3 packages of ring dings in a day! I have to wait in between or I'll dump.

I eat a good breakfast, Kellogs protein cereal, smart milk, 1/2 banana. Then it's game on. I start at work with 1/2 coffee 1/2 hot chcolate 4 sweet & lows (x-lge mind you), then sunflower seeds. I eat them all day. Then I pick, a few tootsie pops, a few starbursts. So I skip lunch. I get home, I actually cook my BF dinner, then I pick, a fudgcicle, a handful of chex mix, etc. et****il I'm full.

Later I get up, have an apple, a slice of cheese, something to drink. And the band played on.

I slacked on curves as well right before xmas.

I went today. Trying to get back "on track".

Why do I do this to myself. ALL THE TIME!

*sigh*

I feel better already.

Thanks in advance for all help.

Diane

Diane;

OK, the one thing that struck me was that you're eating cereal for breakfast. I know every surgeon is different, but mine said no cereal. If we're not supposed to drink with out meals because of our missing pyloric valve cereal with milk seems like it wouldn't keep you satisfied. Try switching to a more dense protein breakfast.

I've always done two pieces of string cheese. I know a lot of folks who do cheese and deli meat roll-ups. Look for something that is going to sit in your pouch and keep you satisfied longer and that should help you stay away from the snacking and grazing.

Good luck!

Hi Diane,

Just like Cruise Director Julie mentioned, you might want to try the protein cereal with milk separately.  Eat the cereal dry or I know that Kathy S. has oatmeal to start her day.  You could then save the milk for a snack elsewhere in your day. 

"And the band played on" - been there too. I think we all have.

You got back on track by making the post that you did.  It seems like you're doing more grazing than sitting down for planned meals.  Try to cut the grazing and I think you'll feel better physically, satisfied and mentally be more excited because you'll be on track.

I'm a grazer and I know that I feel so much better all around when I eat planned meals and snacks.

I'm glad you feel better.  That's what we're here for with each other.

Cathy

Hi Diane,

What I noticed from  your post is a couple of things....first of all, kudos to you for coming here and posting.  That takes guts and makes you such a success

It takes a little more time but try planning your meals and snacks more.  Take a look at our Back to Basics check list, that may help...

You are not eating enough protein and getting in your water, so when  you are tempted to eat the wrong things you do because  you are hungry.  Try something like this for your food plan...

Oatmeal with Whey vanilla protein or 3 egg omelet (1 yolk, 2 whites) with LF cheese and veggies
Apple with LF Peanut butter or string cheese or LF laughing cow cheese
Cold shrimp, with peppers and NF dill dip or lean roast beef, LF cheese and SF pickle roll up
Yogurt or Protein smoothie or protein bar
Grilled fish or chicken, baked sweet potato with butter spray, cinnamon and sweetener, veggies
Fage Yogurt with SF syrup, fruit and muesli

Drink a bottle of water first thing in the morning, wait 30 mins before you eat and drink water throughout the day.

If you eat like this and drink your water I am pretty sure you won't want all those temptations.  The next time  you reach for that candy, take a bathroom break, drink some water, and walk around and after 15 mins try a protein snack.

Also, find a before picture and the next time  you go to eat that junk take a look at that picture and how far you have come.  Look at it and ask  yourself, do I want to go back to that?  Nothing you are eating tasts as good as that feeling you feel of accomplishment looking at that before photo.

Let us know how the week goes for you and we are here for you.

Take care,
Kathy

Hi,

I am wondering something.  What was the trigger.  You are doing great, you get compliments, and then, as you put it BANG!  Something triggered your need for fatty snacks.  I still think our battle is not with the surgery doing its job, but our minds, our thoughts, that gets us into trouble.  Think way back into your childhood.  Do you notice any patterns relating to what people say and how you responded with food. 

I've had a tough childhood. Beginning with an abusive father. As soon as I heard he was dying, I made up my mind to have this surgery.

I think because my abuser was dying, I didn't need to "protect" myself anymore.

He was mentally, physically, and sexually abusive.

There's a lot of variables in my life. And I'm sure there always will be.

I need to come to peace with myself and stop refering to the "bad" incidents to justify my binging.

I guess I need to put on my big girl panties and deal with it.

Thanks everyone for the posts. It's nice to have somewhere to go and type what is truly in my heart and on my mind. When family members ask it's just a "oh well it's the weather, the holidays blah blah". Just to get the conversation over.

Type to you latah!

Diane

Hi Diane,

I think you are on to something.  I would recommend talking to someone who can help you confront each layer of your past and help you heal in the present.  There is nothing wrong with you!!!  You are a victim of your past.  The fact that you acknowledge that is the first step.


Paula