Lacking Motivation

2014 hasn't even started and I feel my confidence waning, the uncertainly of accomplishing all of my daunting goals has been settling in. 

Today, I called and made an doctor's appointment, finally. I haven't had health insurance in almost 2 years. Finally I do and I am going to use it.

I tried losing weight earlier this year with no real success. After 2, almost 3 months of working out intensely and eating right I lost only 5 lbs. So, I stopped trying. and since then (in 6 months) I've gained about 10, 11 lbs.  I have been  other some other weird symptoms I don't feel like getting into.

I am thinking it could be my thyroid or a gluten intolerance.

I know for sure it's an inconvenience. It's scary to think that maybe I can't live a normal life. IF I do have some condition where I can't be like the stories I see on Instagram.

Ultimately, my hope is that I just didn't know what I was doing. Or that it was stress from being in school and having financial difficulties and that's why the weight didn't disappear.

Maybe this would be a good time to do some visualization? ... 

I see myself, built like a WWE Diva, but you know, not too muscular. I still look feminine, lean muscle. I'm happy. I'm active. I know how to ride a bike, I like to hike, and rock climb.  I can play a game of tennis or go walking through the mall with friends and not feel insecure, out of place, and physically uncomfortable. I actually believe in retail therapy.  (These days trying to go clothes shopping leaves me feeling in need of therapy) I feel attractive in a pair of blue jeans, dark wash and a simple tee. I have a boyfriend.  I can cook. I make quick, nutritious, tasty meals for the both of us. My life isn't perfect, I'm not perfect. but I'm in love with myself.

What do you see when you visualize your wildest "the weight is gone" dreams?