Yoga, WLS and trusting my body

One of surprising things I learned about myself through my WLS experience was the astounding, nearly crippling mistrust I harbored for my own body. This mistrust took years to develop. As a morbidly obese child I was made painfully aware that my body was not only unlike that of my peers, it was also somehow 'wrong,' 'abhorrent,' 'flawed.' In a 'chicken-or-the-egg' scenerio, accumulated weight result in less physcial activity which resulted in accumulated weight, which...you understand. Moving confidently and gracefully requires practice. When that practice is preempted, an overall lethargy and innate clumsiness set in for me. I stopped trusting that my body could do things I hadn't tried before. I stopped running. I stopped dancing. I stopped moving, except when absolutely necessery. Then there was the fact that no matter what 'guarranteed' or 'can't-miss' diet plan I subscribed to during my tenure as an obese person, they simply did not work -- further inpacting my trust. I remember standing in my bathroom at 470 pounds, staring into the eyes of a reflection I barely recognized seriously agonizing over 'how I'd become this?' 'when and why had this happened?' and with each ache and pain which cumulated in an inability to walk a city block though I was still under 30, each painful social situation, each time i felt myself out of breath i remember wondering why my body had betrayed me. Naturally, my body hadn't betrayed me. There was a miscommunication between my mind and my body -- in fact, there was no communication at all. Each flew off in different directions, trying to procure what each thought was required, never once undrestanding that both had the same goal -- merely different approaches. Yoga has afforded me an opportunity to bring both body and mind, and eventually spirit, into the same arena -- instead of pitting one against the other in a search for physical health, emotional comfort and spiritual security, yoga continues to teach me ways of bringing the three together as one to pursue and achieve these goals in highly beneficial and efficient manner. And for someone who didn't see his feet for most of his adult life, swinging gracefully into handstand or pushing up into upward bow is like reaffirmation of how far a little trust in one's body can go. Namaste, BrianClt

What a beautiful testimony to your new life. I find as I get further into the study of yoga and applying it to my life that the more I get out of it. I too stopped living normally due to weight - it hurt to walk. I could barely crawl out of bed to go the bathroom in the morning. I avoided situations where anything physical had to be attempted. I couldn't climb stadium steps let alone fit into a stadium seat. My husband watched my weight escalate and my self-esteem leave and my health get worse. He was heart sick at the transformation of his wife and tried his best to help - he of the never having been fat club - you know how that one goes. Thank God for WLS - Thank God for Yoga. The two together are enabling me to manage my life. I just had an extremely stressful day - yesterday - and last night. In times like these - I would turn to food, rather than friends or feelings. I am unable to stuff myself so these feelings are really intense now. I took the day off work, read my Body & Soul magazine and just finished some yoga practice to de-stress me. I shared the problem with co-workers and this message board as well as my family where before I would have held it in and tried to numb myself with food. I can tell through my yoga when my breath is tense now and I know what I can do to open up my body and realign myself to lessen the stress. I also realize that the only person I control is myself. What a change in my life. Namaste, Ro