Melancholy
Well here I am .....tomorrow is my birthday...my boyfriend is mad at me (which has become a regular thing these days). I have no plans, no presents and I am another freaking year older.
However on the bright side, I have gone from 322 lbs to 205 lbs in a few short months. I do feel so much healthier this year and Thanksgiving did not go bad at all. It was actually the first time in years that I had total control. I didnt overindulge in anything and I even cooked without tasting everything I made a couple of times. I did not get sick and I even managed to have a few things I was not suppose too..but it was the Holiday and I decided a few bites was not going to kill me.
Now to my vent. I am been proverbally stuck at 205, 207, 203 for weeks now. I am dying to see 199 and I feel like it is my scales way of playing a cruel ass joke on me. The clothes are still getting bigger on me..so I am losing inches...but the scale just will not drop to 199. I have tried the plateu buster diet....didnt work for me..I have stopped eating and only did liquids..didnt work..i have tried eating all the time...that definately didnt work. So I have stopped. There is no worse feeling post weight loss surgery emotionally I think. You keep feeling like..well this is the end of the road..no more weight loss for me. This is as far as I am going to get. And if it is..I am ok with that..I mean hell...over 100 lbs is nothing to laugh about right? I have gone from a size 28/30 to a size 18/20, my tops are 14/16. Not bad at all.
Sorry for the vent..but I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself today when I should be feeling just the opposite.
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