Needing some helpful advice`

This is the first time I have posted on here b/c I just registered a few days ago. My name is Sabrina,I live in NorthCentral, WV, I am 24, 375 pounds, and I have 2 children 5 and 1 1/2. I have been debating with myself and family the past few years about getting GBP surgery. My mother thinks it will be devistating for me b/c of the loose skin so she isn't really for it. Each year I just seem to get bigger and bigger and I do not know what to do anymore. It has gotten to the point I can't play with my kids, the pain of walking is unbearable, the depression is unsightly, I can not work due to the pain so my children and I have to stay with family. I hate going to the doctor b/c they always find something new wrong with me. In the past 2 years I have been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and diabetes on top of the high blood,plantars facitis, severe depression,and constant pain. I have been overweight my entire life and severely depressed most of my life because of it. I went through most of my life being emotionally and mentally abused by my grandfather and peers. Then at 15yrs old dated a guy for 9 years that was, so the same so my self esteem and self confidence is something I just don't have. I am miserable and angry all the time. As of today I am at 375 at 5 ft 5 inches tall. My body hurts so bad to move that it is ridiculous. I still endure constant emotional abuse which doesn't help. I have always turned to food, it was there for me when no one else was. I have tried all of the diets, exercised, starved myself,........I have done it all and nothing. I need a solution and I think GBP surgery would be it but I am not getting any support from the people I need it from. They just say if I weren't so lazy I could lose weight but that isn't true. I have tried but I can't do it. I lost 170 pounds during my pregnancy with my son but six months later 200 pounds were back. I have been working my butt off that past 3 months and gained 50 pounds. It makes me so depressed and angry. I end up taking it out on the people around me and they just don't understand. I'm not angry at them and I don't like feeling like this. I hate to go out in public b/c people always look at me like I'm a side show. I know we shouldn't care about other's opinions but it's hard not to sometimes and when you are beaten down to the bottom it is hard. This surgery is something I am really interested in because I want to have a life and be there for my kids when they graduate and get married and be there to play with my grandchildren. I haven't been on a date for 9 years and I have only ever had one boyfriend. I want to enjoy life not wake up every morning and hating that I woke up to live another miserable day. There are so many things I want to do that I just can't.....I want to have the surgery but at the same time I am afraid of the risks but being as heavy as I am could kill me too. I have researched it to death and the more I do the more I am considering it. I am going to go talk to my doctor this week about what to do. Did any of you have the same problems in decideing??? Are the after affects as bad as most people think???? Thank you for listening to my ramblings Sabrina

Hi Sabrina, I am so sorry that you are having no support in your decesion, but I hope that you realize that ultimately it should be for you. I know that the support means lots. I think that you have to give yourself a chance to live your life. I hate to hear that at such a young age you find life miserable. I know that the weight can be such an issue. I also know how it feels to try to lose weight and feel you are getting no where. I am in the stages of waiting for a surgery date. I know that I have went back and forth several times, and it is because my Mom is so worried about what could happen to me, but I am tired of having my weight be an issue. I know that my life is going by and I am tired of feeling self conscious of the weight on my body. I am tired of not being able to walk with out it hurting. I ache so much. So I know exactly how you feel I worry too. I think that you have to also consider what your life will be like if you dont. I have had many friends who have had it and there are some downssides but for the most part they are all good. A chance to feel good about who you are. I think that the downside is the emotional eating and learning not to eat when you are upset or needing comfort,but that is an issue either way you go. I wish you well and I hope that you consider your self in your decesion too. I hope you well. take care Lynn

Dear Sabrina: Weight Loss Surgery has to be a personal pursuit of your own happiness. No one can make that decision for you. Sure, any surgery has lots of risks...but do the risks outweigh what is going to happen to you in the long run? I was in the same boat. I took my time, though. I wanted to think it through. The more I research it...the more determined I am to get the GPS done. No one person can tell you what to do. Sometimes I wish God had a neon sign just to tell me what to do; however, I just have to go on my research, my intuition, how I want to feel 5 years from now. I, too, had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome/Disease. I had to have a hysterectomy in 2003 and as you know...most women gain weight after hysterectomies. I am tired of being fat, tired, & sick. So, I decided to get information about it...calculate medical bills in the next five years (if I live that long)...and then I decided....weight loss surgery is for me. Sure, I have family that are non-supportive of me. But, they are NOT living in my body. They sure aren't walking in my shoes. So, I said to all of them, "Thanks for your concern..." and went on deciding. My dad & sister are scared for me. My husband and children (teens) are supportive. My friends are half & half. But, they are not me! I am sick a lot. My dad & sister are healthy. My dad is 75 years old and walks 6 miles a day. But, I have different genetics...and his decision cannot be my decision. Somedays I'll be just like you are. Sad & depressed. But, I want to do this for me. I know everyone will die someday. But, I want to live a nice life while I'm here. Depression is hard. I finally had to give up and tell my doctor (a female dr) that I was teary eyed a lot and told her I was having a hard time. She helped. I had to go on meds short-term...but, it was worth it. I have more energy now...and I feel as though this decision is for me. So, if you need encouragement...you write me and I will encourage you. Yes, the surgery could kill you. But, eating emotionally, being sad, doing NOTHING can kill too. Hang in there Sabrina. You need to take care of yourself. Tomorrow is a new day. Begin that new day with a prayer and begin searching more about the surgery. Find a doctor in West Virginia. Find out if your assistance can help you in getting the surgery paid for. One step at a time....ok? I know how you feel. I've been in your shoes so many times. But, it's time to put on a new pair of shoes...and begin a new journey. Find out the facts...then make the decision--that's the best encouragement I can give. Email me anytime....ok? Have a good weekend. Hug your kids and let them know you love them. And, don't ask them what mommy should do about having the surgery. This is YOUR decision.... Beth