It is very tough for people to accept change, because they know they will have to change in some way too. I gained weight because I would eat instead of argue. I would bury my feelings & thoughts, so when I went through the process, I became outspoken and didn't take as much crap. I had to explain to my spouse that I would rather have a civilized argument (respectful, like you would have with your best friend), instead of "stuffing it down". We had to be patient and work through it. After I had ps, (I had the whole deal, face & body), I get hit on a lot-after all I was the fat girl with the great personality. He had to get used to the idea that although others were attracted to me again( &, sush... maybe me to them!) but we were and are, family & I was not going anywhere. I had to reassure him many, many times. (Still have to, occasionally). finished ps over 4 years ago, have gained about 25lbs since my lowest which people kept telling me was "too thin, cancer looking". I would like to lose about 5-10 lbs, which is why I am back to reading the forums, for inspiration. The surgery does NOT have to cost you your marriage, but you will need to communicate & work on it.Good Luck & God bless 

The key is it's your decision for your health I love my man and I do everything for him when I made the decision he was ok with it then he changed his mind after I had the surgery already scheduled.  I to say the least didn't change my mind so I'm gonna have my Surgery weather he likes it or not.  It's for me to be better physically and I already know he wont regret it.

Jenn77 I can relate. It took me 3 years to convince my husband that I needed surgery. He knows that I'm diabetic, have HBP and arthritis. But he think that I just want to have it to look good and get more attention from men. I was banded for 5 years and had the band removed 1 year ago. I'm in my late fifties and don't want to go another 3 years to convince him that I still need surgery due to my comorbidities. heart disease runs in my family on both sides. It has started to hit my siblings and I'm worried about my health.

I'm in the same boat I'm having surgery on the 12Th and my other half has been supportive but he has his moments where he is getting distant and then he has kinda fits like I'm being selfish to want to go under the knife to lose weight like I'll die and leave everyone with the burden to bury me and I then knew it was not about me it was about how he feels.  I'm terribly sorry he has a problem with me having surgery but it is what is right for me.  I have always done for everyone else now it's time for Elia to do for Elia it doesn't change how much I love him and I'm hoping he can learn to love less of me.  No regrets I'm doing it.  I think he will come around and see later on it was the right thing.

I'm sorry your wife is not supporting you. Maybe she is upset and that is making her eat. I know as a woman I just want to know that everything is ok, and that I am loved. Give her a big hug and tell her how much you love her.