Weight loss surgery ...and the changes it will bring to you are going to be dramatic. I have read posts on here that indicate (from the research) that divorce is slightly higher amongst those post WLS.

I think that WLS makes good relationships better, and while it doesn't make bad relationships worse, it exposes all the emotions that were once hidden behind a relationship with food.

If you are worried, start some counseling (individual or couple therapy). Obviously your basing your fear on something-and you should address that fear.

Scott

Print out the 'Batratric Eating Food Pyramid' that is the featured article from Monday Oct. 3. The timing is perfect for her use, it gives us all a visual on how to eat.  If she is a terrfic cook, she will love the challenge of coming up with delicious dishes for her honey.

So this is something you might just need to be in person to show her.  Or find pictures online and show her what a normal plate of food only holding 4oz will look like.  I myself am dyslectic so I can understand some of her issues with being frustrated with books of text, I do however love pictures, and doing the measuring myself.  

She might do well with you asking her to get out the measuring cups and a food scale.  She can for example on her own measure out 4oz of chicken, a casserole, vegetables, and so on. She can play with what types of foods weight more per volume vs things that are larger and more airy.  It'll be important that you keep track of where you are with eating and give her that information.  

When I first came home after VSG I could only drink fluids.  So my partner or myself would prep liquids for me during "meal" times and I'd sit with him while he ate dinner.  This was important because he didn't want to eat because I couldn't.  This also happened with my previous partner.  She didn't eat for days after my lapland, she also would eat far less than normal because she felt bad that I was unable to eat.  So do yourself and her a favor and sit down and have what you can and establish that you do feel full, that their food should be eaten because they need to eat.  I found with both of them it was important that they felt like I was ok that they were eating, and that I was feeling good about my 2oz of soup and that I did feel full.

Once the first 3-4 weeks pass you'll be able to have 2-4oz of soft foods and this makes things feel a lot more normal when sitting down to dinner.  You can even make things like Egg Face's ricotta bake and you can both enjoy things like this together.

I'm now 7 months out and can eat anything I'd want to eat.  I do sometimes have to remind my partner that I can only have 5oz total of whatever it is or I get too full and it's not comfortable.  We have a scale in the kitchen and I also weight my plate so that I know I won't over eat.  If she's serving just make sure she knows to weight your plate before giving it to you.  It was hard at first for my current partner to not give me more because he loves to cook and giving me the best parts of the dish was something nice he was doing.  Except we both know that was also not helping me loose weight.  So he's sometimes tempted to serve me more but always measures the plate and knows to just not put more than 5oz on there for me.

I'm sure you two will get it.  I've done this with two different people and both of their reactions were similar.  Its hard for them like it will be for you at first to adjust to the portions and what types of foods you can have.  Don't let her lack of enjoyment of books bother you.  Have fun measuring and weighting food before your WLS so you can both see how much 3-5oz is.  At fist it seems shockingly small but after a couple months it's totally normal and you'll go to lunch with a friend and be appalled with how much they can eat :-)

 

Roed,

I am also concerned with my partner and her reaction to my surgery. She also claims to be fully secure in the future of the relationship. but i understand your worries. I can't give you any advice except do you trust him? and if so you have to try to believe him. you can make it through with a lot of communication and caring. i have to believe this for you and for me

 

Smallbites2015.

This is a great list 

Mind if i print it out for my partner to have a copy of. 

we are just starting to delve into the meaning of this surgery upcoming and our relationship and where it stand with this change. we have been together 18 years and i cant see her changing, but it would be nice to have some things to help smooth the transition.

 

the one thing she has done Sue, Is promise me that she will be honest and tell me what she is feelign about everything. 

and remind me that she loved me when i was 170 and loves me when im 295, she will always love me. let him hear it.