Cindy, your problem is very common unfortunately. My wife had her surgery 12/21/04. Since then I have been her coach and a shoulder to cry on etc. and we have grown closer as a result. Too often on these message boards I see women discussing how their husbands have turned cold or no longer care for them the way they once did. Speaking as a guy, I can see how it was easy for them to be married to a big girl, especially if they were overweight themselves, yet skinnier than their wife. This was a big ego boost that perhaps they kept inside but never acutally vocalized. It allowed them to get out of shape and not take care of themselves the way they should have. I know that I fell into the same trap. My wife and I both gained a lot of weight after we were married and as long as we were togther it wasn't a big deal. Once she decided to have the surgery, I needed to come to grips with my own situation. I decided that if she was going to go through all of the pain and struggles involved with WLS, then I needed to do the same thing, albeit in a non-surgical approach. I was very content being fat, I now know however, that soon... very soon, I will be bigger than my wife for the first time in a long time together. So while I am happy for her, I can see how other guys may think that their wife took the "easy" way out and as such are jealous of your success while they mire in their own self imposed failure. My advice? Lay down the law with your man and tell him to shape up or their will be consenquences. You have lived your life as a big girl and you now intend to live the rest of your life as a skinny chick. He can either enjoy the ride or get out the way. I made my decision and I cannot wait until my wife and I are BOTH at our goal weight. Everyone deserves the same. -JJ

People fear change sometime when we make positive changes in our lives the people around us feel forced to do the same . Our happiness is like a light shining on their inner unhappiness do not allow your husband to steal your shine and at the same time be aware that he may be feeling nervous about his position now If he feels that you have more options he may be feeling like less than perfect reassure him that he is your sexy man and that you love him. be sure to dress up and go to a nice lunch or dinner with him not fancy just romantic. purchase new nighties for his eyes only and spice up your love life. Whatever you do be sure that you do not take his sour mood personally you did nothing wrong you lost 100 lbs and you are healthier prettier and more energetic. And if I am a pre-op stranger and I can encourage you and support you that is the least that you should expect from your life partner good luck.

How many of you noticed a diference in your spouse after WLS as far as moodyness. And if so, at what stages and when did it finally stop?

I am so happy for him. I was wondering if anyone here could help with how to be most supportive. He has been a little on edge and I am sure it is his nerves...it has been a little difficult...how have you handled the pressure the patient is under?

What : First 2-Day National Convention Who : "Make The Journey Together" with Friends (new and old) from all over the United States! When : Saturday and Sunday, May 15 & 16th 2004 Cost : Sunday May 16th, 1pm until 5pm FREE for any (pre or post) weight-loss or plastic surgery patient. Come meet the Surgeons and discuss your special needs. Want more? $20 Registration for the full conference! (Includes: full 2-day access to all events, registration materials, special activities and much more!) Where : Wyndham Arlington, Arlington,Texas (Dallas-Fort Worth Area) Room cost $99.00 includes free shuttle to and from the airport. No need to travel far. Free local travel with 5-mile radius of the hotel. No need to rent a car! And now for the best part; Six Flags over Texas is a mere 4 miles away meaning you can never get bored! (Free shuttle service included to Six Flags!) Fun things to do: Meet the founders of ObesityHelp.com. Socialize with peers. Convention is just 4 miles from Six Flags over Texas. WLS Fashion Show! Clinical information talks. Free door prizes. Show off your before and after photos. Help with printing your WLS Success cards. Help with getting your photos on the web. Discounts on ObesityHelp store items (books, tshirts, magazines, etc..). Group photos. Free samples of nutritional products. WLS "Retro Party" Pictures and information on the gathering will be featured in the OH Magazine and the website. Are Spouses Welcome? Yes. Carpools are forming. Partner up with people near you. Members from Houston, Dallas, and other cities will be driving in together. Indicate on the survey below if you'd be interested in starting or joining one. Flight Information: Call 800-433-1790 for the lowest fare plus our group discount! American Airlines Group Discount Program: Discount code# S8454AV 5% discount on lowest possible fair. (less than 30 days booking notice) 10% discount on lowest possible fair. (31 days advance.) 10% discount on lowest possible fair. (Upgraded seating -Business class, First etc) What to bring: + Your before photos + Your after photos + Your camera + $25.00 for food Secial Prizes: To recognize your dedication, whoever travels the farthest to attend will receive a special prize! Greatest amount of weight-loss Prize! Newest Pre-op Prize! And more!