I have definately noticed a difference in my husband since my wls. Jealousy, insecurity sometimes he makes me feel like he's trying to "catch me" doing something. I hate it. I don't know what to do. I'm getting to the point where I feel like if I'm going to be accused I should live up to it. There are days when he's proud of me and he tells me how beautiful he thinks I am and days where he's so jealous it's ridiculous. I can tell you I never thought we would be one of the couples whose marriage suffered through the change but we are. I keep trudging along but I think that maybe a marriage counsler may help us at this point. I have no desire to leave my husband..I just want him to love me as dearly and securely as he did when I weighed 260. Good luck to the rest of you all.

Hi Margaret....congratulation on the WL ...I'm only a little over a month out and my husband has been a real jerk...he's always made little comments about me having a boyfriend and now it's 10x's worse. He's a large man and has lots of health problems. He keeps saying that I'm going to leave him for another man. If I ever do leave him it won't be for another man. It will be because I can't stand the way I get treated anylonger. and that's sad..

I know how you feel maggie.....my husband of almost 33 yrs never tells me I look nice (never did much) & now that I'm thin and other men seem attracted to me you would think he would take notice and change but NOPE.....as you said learn to deal.....but it would sure be nice to walk in a room and him whistle or say WOW ........guess that is why the divorce rate is so high with WLS patients. Best of luck and you look fabulous!

Shanna- Hey I haven't had the surgery yet, but I thought I'd make a comment. My darling hubby I know is afraid that I will cheat on him after I have the surgery bc I will be thin! He married me fat and I only got fatter! Which to me proves he loves me for me! And he is 6'3 142 lbs and the man that I love! If your not happy with something tell your spouse. Like compliment me more. Or whatever you need. Communication is so the key! Learned that the hard way when we were dating in high school! But anyways, with or without weight loss a spouse may cheat if they got alotta attention. Both sexes! If a woman is being complimented by alotta men and not her hubby then she may cheat! Also if a man is being flirted with its hard for a man not to stray! Unless the two of your are totally committed then they can cheat. I know this bc I have seen it! Not with weight loss patients, but let me tell you this story: (the names are changed to protect the innocent! LOL!) Jacob and Nancy are good friends with me! They married after dating for a while. Then after a year Nancy became pregnant! Nancy was a size 12-14 when they married. Then after the baby Nancy became a size 24 because Jacob kept telling her to eat for two. Jacob wasn't happy with his now plump wife. So he started talking as friends to a girl named Casey. Casey was a nice size 6-8! Jacob eventually seperated from his wife and dated Casey!! Which Jacob and Nancy where still married! And had a new baby!! Casey ended up not being with him, so Jacob went back to the waiting Nancy. Nancy not thinking she could do better. They are still together. The points of the story is: Some ppl try out something new but want what they had before the new. Some ppl cheat and then wanna get back. Some ppl would NEVER cheat bc they love the other too much. Being heavy then losing weight is wonderful! And if you are meant to be you will be together! I believe that! Speaking from experience, because I didn't think I would get back with my hubby in high school and we did and got married! It may make things harder having a spouse lose weight. All I can say is talk to them about work things out. Don't cheat tell them that, its better to be apart than to cheat on someone. Especially when you said vows infront of God and your family and friends. If your thinking about cheating you or the spouse don't! Talk to them! They may wanna still be with you or you still w/them! Talk tell them what you need! Write it out spell it out! Whatever it takes! And if you still wanna cheat then don't be together. Better to wait until its over than to cheat and make things worse. My hubby has been cheated on many many many many times!! NOT BY ME!! When he was dating before he found me. Putting someone through that isn't worth it! You hurt them! Its best to leave them than stay with them and cheat. Because mostlikey you or the spouse whoever is cheating will end up leaving anyway. I'm totally against cheating! LOL! Beat you can tell! My advice is talk it out don't cheat. Broken record over here! I'm almost 21! Been married almost 3 yrs! But hey what do I know! ~April~ May 13, 2005 surgery scheduled!!!!!

my ? is after you or your spouse had the surgery did you or they cheat because they got too much attention. please let me know. deperate for answers