Dee Dee - Hold on to that thought. I probably will need those same exact words expressed to my mate eventualy as well. He's been almost clueless when I've suffered from PMS. (he's one of the non-believers) I don't expect much TLC from him when I get this operation. I do hope he will be supportive for me.

Hi hubby your wife just had major surgery less than month ago she is being deprived of food her closest friend for many years ignore her moodiness and love her any way she is your sweet loving woman still

I apologize if it came off as if I was calling you an idiot only two people know what actually happened in that relationship and any one else myself included is just guessing. It hurts to lose someone that you love and are comfortable with and I am sure that it hurts to discover that things are not as comfortable as they seem but the truth is that you can not turn back the hands of time or make your wife do anything that she does not want to do. So kicking yourself is a waste of time You can not fix something if you are the only one looking at it as if it is broken I would want my husband to give me time space and respect I would want him to keep the lines of communication open without drawing lines in the sand and demanding in any way that I get over this and come back I would want my husband to concentrate on his growth and development and understand that I am not the same woman that he married just like he is not the same man we have joys and sorrows and secrets and lies and happy days and holidays and fear and longing all between us and this has both seperated us and brought us closer we are family and strangers at the same time. the routine has worn itself thin and I need to breathe I need fresh air and sunshine I need to explore the world before I leave it It does not mean that I do not love my hubby it means that I am not sure that we can get on the same page again and I am not sure that I want to spare the breathe I have left to see if we can This Is my take on the situation and how I feel maybe your wife feels different ask her..........

Just what exactly did you all do???? Are you heavy or thin? What is she down to ( wt)? How long were you married? Kids?

Your title couldnt be more true. My wife had the surgery last August and left me 2 weeks ago. I never knew we were having issues, never knew how badly I had treated her. I too, responded like many of your spouses. I only found out recently about her problems as she was moving out. I am still hopeful of reconciliation, but as of now she says there was far too much hurt, didnt think I could change, and was not going to stop the divorce process. I am in therapy to work on these issue, as is she to, to work on her own, and to see if we can fix the individual issues we both seem to have. I know I must fix my issues, with or without her, as I feel I have a gun to head, and that I dont want to have this carry into my next relationship (if there is one). All I ask, beg, of you all is to please seek counseling with your spouse, before you leave them. I am devastated, as are my children. I have been literally crying every day, and miss her presence, touch, and warmth. I pray everyday for His intercession and to comfort me in my pain. I ask for your prayers as well. I know this is a sad story, but TALK to your spouse**** them on the head if you have to. Explain to them how you expect to be treated. I wish she did, maybe things would be different. Sincerely, Joe of Michigan