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I am a domestic violence survivor.....HONEY RUN!
If he is telling your children he intends to kill you under any cir****tances then its time to go. I will share with you the thoughts that finally had me leave my abusive ex husband.. I looked at my baby daughter and thought to myself, "when she grows up and lets a man beat her it will be my fault because by staying I am teaching her that is how a man treats you when he says he loves you." Then I loved at my 2 little boys and thought..."someday they will get upset with their wives and beat them and another woman will have suffered because I choose to stay and let them think it is ok."
I packed right then...and I like you didn't have anything - no job, no where to go because my family wasn't a choice because he would have followed me, and no money.
I went to a battered women's shelter, then to the projects. I put myself thru school while on welfare being a single parent with 3 small kids. Now I am successful with 3 teenagers and even bought my second house.
Leave - if not for you -FOR YOUR KIDS!
"It's not how good you are, its how good you want to be"
The threats of killing you I would take serious......
I checked out this forum today because my hubby and I are going through issues of dis-trust, etc. I've been getting a lot of attention lately from males and it's taking it's toll on my hubby....I feel I'm getting analized at everything I do..... I don't look for attention, I just get it.....It's hard on me also, because I don't know whether to enjoy it or run from it....
I'm at a loss......
Kelly
Hello--there are several couples I have seen (whole families) at the VSG forum...you might want to ask them the questions :) Good luck
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My husband had the surgery 2/07 and has lost 130 pounds - he's down to the 180s now. He had some complicaitons, isn't really following any diet, but he's doing okay. I am considering following suit (BMI 41ish) and am wondering if anyone here has experience with both partners having the surgery. I'm a nurse, and knew what we were in for - I'm marginally worried about his jealousy which seemed weird the first year or two of our marriage, although we've been married 12 years, and at 48, even smaller I wouldn't be a prize. I also think he has unrealistic expectations about me controlling his eating after my surgery. I recognize WLS is a tool, not a solution, but I'm hoping that it will make it easier to not overeat. Just looking for some advice or comments.
While the weight loss is easier with surgery, the lifestyle is harder.
Thank you ladies and gents,
So many of you have signed up for my favorite recipe site and Ive gotten so many new recipes from all of you. I got a new new idea there for a talopia with black bean salsa that was awesome from one of your recipes. There are so many recipes now I could try a new one everyday for the rest of my life I think.
I have sent out over 120 invites now and I even won a mixer from Kitchenaid on tuesday for so many ppl joining. I dont need it since I already have 2. So I promised it to give it to a lady on here that recently lost her job and had signed up. I hope she enjoys it and you all love the site as much as I do.
Anyone else wants to join the recipe forum just let me know at [email protected] I send you an invite!!!This is my favorite site for Healthy Recipes
http://www.bakespace.com/loginjoin/invite/8491
This is my favorite online site for shopping
http://www.mrrebates.com?refid=190995
Shawna
on 10/27/08 12:42 am
There are LOADS of WLS patients out there who have said that their spouses (or significant others) are worried that once the patients loses weight, they'll no longer be interested in their spouse. Sometimes this is true but, in most cases, it isn't.
Anyhoo, on for my guesses:
1) You obviously are looking better, feeling better and have maybe gained some self-confidence. You've jumped "off the shelf" and that might worry your husband. He might have been concerned that you'd eventually cheat on him, ask for a divorce, or something and wanted to "beat you to the punch", if that makes any sense.
2) OR he might be trying to "keep you in your place" because you ARE looking better, etc. In other words, maybe trying to make you feel unattractive (when in reality you are probably feeling more attractive than you have in a long time). Again, this would be in answer to his paranoia that you are going to leave him.
3) One last thought.....have you been paying the same attention to him as you did before surgery. Yup, I know there's a recovery time as there is for any surgery so that shouldn't even be taken into consideration. But does he feel left out? Has this become "all about you"? A lot of times, sudden weight loss can go to a person's head. While self-confidence is fantastic, self-absorption and self-centeredness is usually what drives spouses, friends & family away.
Anyhoo, don't know if I've hit on anything that might be helpful. Just trying to look at it from both sides here.
Please keep me posted on how this is going for you.
Best wishes!
