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I know you posted this a little while ago. I'm sorry that this happened. How are you making out now?
Thinking of you ( HUGS).
b.
Yes, I'm quite familiar with the portions, my mom had the same surgery when I was in high school, and several family members have had it since. I know I won't feel full the same way a person would had they had the surgery and the dumping Syndrome isn't something I'll have to deal with, though as a diabetic, I avoid sugar anyway.
I am measuring all of my food to what my husband theoretically eats. we're still on liquids right now, 4 oz per hour, but I know with solid food it might only take 2-3 for him to get full. Since I won't feel full, I'm planning on eating what I've measured out and no more. I also won't have the hormonal changes and the malabsorption that come with the surgery. I know it's not going to be exactly the same, and yes I could "cheat" at anytime with not nearly the consequences he would have, but I do have a lot of support from my doctor as well as his bariatric doctor, and I feel like my husband is happy that we're both doing this together
I had RNY 9 years ago.
It is a very sweet of you to do the diet as he is. But have in mind that it may be difficult for you. His insides ha been changed - while yours are still as before. what, specially in the beginning - would be easy for him to follow - it may be a very hard time for you to do. in the first few months post op -2-3 oz of food made me full. Eating more than that was not only not possible - I rally did not want to eat more. RNY not only changed my insides but also my hormones, and the way my body dealt with hunger and food. I often was not hungry or if I did get hungry - eating just 2 oz-3 made me full. Even now - I often can't eat more than 6-8 oz total, if 4-5 of that are dense proteins.
In addition - eating sugary foods made me ill,very ill - getting sick a couple of times made me really not want desserts like cakes, cookies or ice cream.
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
I'm not sure if this thread is very active. I just registered today. I am a WLS spouse :) My husband and I were married this past October and around then he also started the evaluation and consultation process for WLS. He had RNY just this past Thursday, and I've been following his diet the whole time. Before this, I was the positive influence--he was a bachelor, ate a lot of fast food, never really cooked for himself. I'm a type 2 diabetic, and he took me out to eat a LOT when we started dating. But I told him I couldn't do that--my sugars were becoming hard to manage. I started grocery shopping and preparing dinners at home (I love cooking). He embraced it. Anyway, I ate the liquid diet too, and I'll be moving to soft proteins when he does. Has anyone else followed the diet along with their spouse? To me it just makes the most sense for several reasons. I'm also very overweight. We'll save money on the grocery bills. I don't have to cook two different meals. I'm doing less dishes. When he started talking about looking into WLS, I had a general idea. My mom had RNY 15 years ago, and I remembered the basics of her diet, her portions, her struggles.
Just registered here on OH to reply to your dilemma (I've been stalking the forums for a while).
My husband and I reduced our eating out long before he decided to have WLS, because I'm a type 2 diabetic and all that eating out was bad for my blood sugars. I also love to cook, so its not a problem to cook healthy meals at home. He began his liquid diet on May 4th, and had RNY just this past Thursday. I decided to eat the same as him.
In this last month we've gone out together 4 times, all without involving dinner out. we saw a play, a movie, and we have been checking out some of these "wine and art" type places that are cropping up. The drinking is optional (we just had water). One place was a "paint your own ceramics" thing where you purchased a plain piece of ceramic-mug, bowl, base, etc. then you paint it however you want, and they fired it. We took it home that night. The other was a place where we made rustic wooden signs (we each made one for our moms for Mother's Day.) are either of you crafty? My husband isn't, I am. We both had a great time and it was really relaxing and fun! Might be worth seeing if you have anything like that locally?
Every now and then when my husband and I are stuck for date night ideas that don't involve food we fall back on two old standbys that usually turn out to be pretty fun:
1) we play tourist in our town - we'll buy bus tour tickets or a ghost walk, something that tourists do when they come to learn more about the area but we never do because we live here. Sometimes we learn something new, sometimes we get cool stories to share with our guests while showing them around.
2) we pick a spot on the map that's max under a couple of hours drive away and then pick the most scenic route to get there. We try to take roads we've never driven on and pack snacks so we only need to stop for bathroom breaks. Good old fashioned Sunday drives except that in the summer with the late light, it can be any day really.
I'm sure your wife is happy that you are looking for ways to keep spending time with her. She may have been a little afraid that your new lifestyle might have meant leaving everything from the old one (including her?) behind, but the effort that you are putting into finding other things to do with her will hopefully show her that she is still valued.
Thanks for the feedback/advice. I am a little over a year post-op and about 14+ months into my new way of eating. Most importantly, I am now 4 months into maintenance, and I am starting to settle into a routine that seems to be working. I will continue to be hyper vigilant as regain is terrifying to me; however, I've been able to maintain within a few pounds +/- of my target maintenance weight of 150 (I was 151 this AM, after just returning from an 8 day vacation, so that's a big moral victory)!
I don't generally have a major problem finding reasonable options when going out to restaurants - just about every place out there has WLS friendly food of some sort or another, I just find I don't enjoy it very much. The number of options is most often VERY limited, and the WLS friendly food I prepare at home is a heck of a lot more appealing than the "baked chicken breast with a side of broccoli" or the 10,000th bowl of chili!! Part of the fun of going out (at least for me) was trying a lot of new and different items, which is much more difficult with all the dietary restrictions.
Strangely, it has made cooking at home a lot more fun! I look at it as a challenge to try new and different foods that are on plan, and I find the results overall to be AMAZING! Every once in a while there is a dud, but most foods turn out really well.
Over the last couple of months my wife has even started to embrace my new way of eating. She likes the fact that I'm always collecting recipes, and it gives her the opportunity to break out of the same-old-same-old approach to dinners. Lately, she's been asking me if I have any new recipes each week and we've been trying new ones out together.
After the first 4-6 weeks, post-WLS eating is very easy and I found l liked the same things alot. Esp if you see each other on the weekends, you will be able to find a few things that you really like and she can make those. For me, seafood - shrimp, scallops, homemade crab cakes were go-to sure to make me smile favorites that kept monotony at bay.
A kitchen scale might also help with portion control at first. You can also control your own portion size - put a plate (paper or small) on the scale and weigh until you have 2-4 ounces. Save the rest for leftovers.
Two things I learned:
1-There is a small difference between being not full and being full. There are still times when I am chewing a bite (I now chew for a much longer time that I used to) and I go from not full to full. I spit the food out - because I will be over-full if I swallow it. OK, not the classiest thing, but it is important to respect when you are full.
2-Try to control what comes into your house - if it's not there, you can't eat it at 1am. Pack up any risky foods as a care-package for your partner's trip home or find someone with a bunch of hungry teenagers - they will eat it up.
Good luck - your seems like not such a bad problem to have.
Sharon 
I am so with CrashOveride:
This puts you in a unique situation as well, you have to move forward and do so with a renewed faith and direction in both yourself and your resolve. Believe in the path you've chosen and let those *****main support you.
How are you doing now?
Sharon
