All I see are the negative stories how WLS torn us apart.  Aare there any sucess stories about how WLS enriched a marriage and brought 2 people together?

My husband has a lot of the same fears.  I was already over 300 pounds when we met, and he worries that I'll get thin and then everyone else will see what he sees- an incredibly beautiful woman *blush*- and then I'll either cheat or leave him for an upgrade.

I think this is a common insecurity- we married women know that much of a man's bravado is really a mask for the real man, who craves the encouragement, support, and uplifting spirit of a loving wife.  I know this is true for my husband.

I can tell you this- I am not threatened by his insecurities.  In fact, I love him for who he is, flaws and insecurities and all, and he's so precious to me that I don't care if Tom Brady met me on the street and said he was leaving Giselle and would I please run off with him, with his hotness and millions of dollars and all- I wouldn't bat an eyelash.  Jason is the love of my life, Jesus is the God of our marriage, and though I know we'll inevitably face things that will be hard- like how to deal with men hitting on me, something I've never experienced except for from creepy old dudes- we'll face them TOGETHER.  He's everything to me, and he loved me even when other men just saw a fattie.  And you know what?  The men that may hit on me or check me out are probably the same ones who have made fun of me and mocked me publically at this weight, so screw them!  Even if they are kind guys, I don't care.  Jason's my man and we're in this for life.

Talk to your wife about this!  Be honest with her, so that it doesn't catch her off guard later.  She'll be going through so much that if you wait it could totally become a bigger thing than it really is only because it may overwhelm her.  Tell her now so you can become stronger together as you go and as she loses the weight.  You clearly love your wife, so don't hesitate to make that clear to her and to remind her how much she means to you.

Your post is very sweet, and it made me smile.  I love sweet marriages :)

I am a new member to the site, but have been looking in since my wife was approved for surgery.  She had RNY on May 20, 2009.

I am just wondering what I can do to help her avoid some of the setbacks that so many seem to have following this surgery.  She has been large most of her life, and is now on her way to a place she has never been.

I am trying to be supportive, but know that there is a thin line between support and nagging.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

What has or could your spouse have done to support you better along your journey.

I don't expect to earn the title "super spouse" but would like to give her the support she needs.

Thanks for any advice or recommendations.

Eljay, Me and my wife had the RNY.  She had it two years before me. She lost over a hundred pounds and has kept most of it off.  She doesn't follow the diet either. I am a nurse also(RN) and three years post op. it may help your husband to get back on track if  you both R eating healthy. WLS is only a tool and seeing him go thru it may be an advantage four you. I think it was four me. No surprises. U may be more of a prize than u think. We husbands know these things