Recent Posts
My wife and I have been going through the process to get approved for surgery. And she was notified yesterday that there was a last minute cancellation for next week. So she is going in for RNY on the 18th and then I will most likely be a couple of weeks after that. Does anyone have any thoughts to help us get prepared for the surgery? Anything on recovery, transitioning to the eating habits for the next several months, or anything at all? Or is there anyone that has gone through it together with their spouse?
Thanks,
Steve
on 2/17/15 5:49 pm
hope all is better for you.
when I was overweight for many years, that was, had trouble losing all my spouse could do was nag me and withhold whatever he wanted, making me feel not so good. Then came this Vertical Sleeve, and I think it blew his mind because it actually worked. Then he started gaining weight and unfit. Now I could careless what he says, my issue now is I do not feel attracted to him. And he stated that he would not want me too small-that was really odd.
Point being that is good you see this, and sometimes even though they say they want to support you deep down there are other feelings. I agree with the counseling if he is open to it.
You have worked hard and deserve all the support you get.
I am right there with you!
Hate to be a Debbie downer! But seek therapy NOW! I had wls in 2009, at first everything was ok he was so proud. Then there was jealousy, accusations of infidelity, verbal abuse, alcohol abuse, then physical! Sooo a 23 year marriage is done! It's a sad tale which I read happens a lot! Hoping nothing but the best for you 😊
I am currently waiting for a surgery date and my husband is having some major concerns. He was originally worried about complications but now he's afraid of it ruining our marriage. Him and his first wife split up after he lost a lot of weight (no surgery) and she did not. He has since gained a lot of weight back and is afraid the same thing will happen to us.
I don't see it happening but I don't know how to relieve his concerns. He is not involved in the online community at all so Facebook groups and such won't work for him.
Suggestions?
ObesityHelp is for the support and education for anyone affected by obesity. If you, or anyone you know, is affected by obesity, check out the Non-Surgical Weight Loss board. Whether you're following an organized weight loss group, diet plan or losing weight on your own without weight loss surgery, we can support you too.
Cathy
Want to get back on track or stay on track? Get Back On Track Together!
I'm not a husband I'm a wife lol. But my husband had vsg in 2012. I was very worried before his surgery that he would leave me once he got skinny. 150lbs down for him and luckily he's still the same man, and my vsg date is March 3rd 2015. We were lucky and his surgery just made us closer.
All this to saythat I've been on both sides of weight-loss surgery and I definitely think that there should be support groups for spouses. it's not easy to watch your spouse morph into a whole different person physically. What kind of issues are y'all having?
The best advice I could offer is to be honest. Sometimes we need more time to prepare for the huge changes that are about to come your way. In my experience, it wasn't for insurance approval per say... but to see if you are ready emotionally.
Other than honesty, it was really just testing...true false or agree or disagree type of thing. When I actually saw the psychologist, he had told me he was approving me. He asked me a bunch of questions about family members and made sure that any depression issues I have are under control (so I do not have some sort of nervous breakdown after having the surgery).
I am not trying to scare you. I am only relating my experience, so I hope this helps.
just looking for some guidance. I'm in the 4th month of my 6 month pre quification. Next up is the psych eval. I'm just looking for any advice on what to expect, I'm so afraid I'll say something wrong and ruin my chances for insurance approval- any guidance is greatly appreciated
Is couples therapy an option?
VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)
Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170
TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)
Need some insight! I am the vsg wife that had surgery and am having problems with my husband now that I am getting thinner .
