SAD.

Hi Guys, i guess i never really thought about how my husband would feel after i started to loose the weight,iam down 136lbs and only about 7lbs from goal.But he has made it quite clear that he does not like me being skinny i mean he is not nasty or any thing but does not take joy in any of my little wow moments,like fitting into a booth in the diner,or not crushing the plastic lawn chairs any more, iam wearing a size 6 and am so excited. so now i do not share much with him in regards to me or how i feel or what anyone said in regards to the way i look now.it really is sad but I will not allow negativity into my life now not by anyone had to to much of that all my life, SO as i tell my Husband L T D Learn To Deal he will get over it iam sure maggie

Maggie- Men can be so difficult at times! LOL! I'm almost 21 (will be Tuesday!) I have been married almost 3 yrs! And I wanna say congrats on your weight loss!!!! This is just my opinion BUT I think I know where your coming from! My hubby married a fat girl and I only got fatter! He has told me before the surgery (which is may 13, 2005) that he is scared to death that when I lose the weight I will cheat on him!! Men can be so insecure at times!!! As well as women!! Like my hubby is 6'3 and weighs 142 lbs he is tiny! And at first when we dated and the 1st yr and 1/2 of marriage I was always scared he would cheat on me. Bc I'm fat and I would think he'd want a thin girl. But he never has. And I have never cheated on him! But when a man married a heavy woman and now she is a thin woman he probably gets scared that the woman will leave him! My hubby did! Might be your case. My hubby told me he was scared, flat out told me! Which most men won't say! And I looked right at him and said I'd never cheat on you and if I wanted to I would have already left you. Tell your hubby what you need or want from him! Sometimes you gotta do that for a man! I did!!! I told my hubby I needed compliments and for him to be sweet at least once a month! And he does it! Sometimes you have to spell it out, write it out, or however you can to get them to know how you feel and what you want!!! Start sharing with your hubby what you want from him! The excitement, the way you feel! Talk to him! Sometimes men just need to be told! LOL! I also told my hubby that after the surgery I need nothing but positives from him! Which he gives me that now! He is exited about my surgery! He can't wait! Bc I can't wait! But let no one bring you down! I'm happy for you and what you have accomplished! Thats totally amazing!!! ~April~ May 13, 2005 surgery scheduled!

I know how you feel maggie.....my husband of almost 33 yrs never tells me I look nice (never did much) & now that I'm thin and other men seem attracted to me you would think he would take notice and change but NOPE.....as you said learn to deal.....but it would sure be nice to walk in a room and him whistle or say WOW ........guess that is why the divorce rate is so high with WLS patients. Best of luck and you look fabulous!

Hi Maggie, I know this was a post from almost a few weeks ago. I am only 2 months out and have lost 45 pounds, and my husband tells me that I act different already. So I can only imagine how you feel. I hope that it gets better, but maybe not. My husband is a big man, and I can only imagine if this is the way that he is acting now, how he is going to act when I reach my goal. Christie

Hi Margaret....congratulation on the WL ...I'm only a little over a month out and my husband has been a real jerk...he's always made little comments about me having a boyfriend and now it's 10x's worse. He's a large man and has lots of health problems. He keeps saying that I'm going to leave him for another man. If I ever do leave him it won't be for another man. It will be because I can't stand the way I get treated anylonger. and that's sad..

Your title couldnt be more true. My wife had the surgery last August and left me 2 weeks ago. I never knew we were having issues, never knew how badly I had treated her. I too, responded like many of your spouses. I only found out recently about her problems as she was moving out. I am still hopeful of reconciliation, but as of now she says there was far too much hurt, didnt think I could change, and was not going to stop the divorce process. I am in therapy to work on these issue, as is she to, to work on her own, and to see if we can fix the individual issues we both seem to have. I know I must fix my issues, with or without her, as I feel I have a gun to head, and that I dont want to have this carry into my next relationship (if there is one). All I ask, beg, of you all is to please seek counseling with your spouse, before you leave them. I am devastated, as are my children. I have been literally crying every day, and miss her presence, touch, and warmth. I pray everyday for His intercession and to comfort me in my pain. I ask for your prayers as well. I know this is a sad story, but TALK to your spouse**** them on the head if you have to. Explain to them how you expect to be treated. I wish she did, maybe things would be different. Sincerely, Joe of Michigan

hey Joe, I'm just about 3 years post op and feel great. I was fat when I met, married and had 10 years of a life with the man of my life. I was always insecure about myself and my life as was my husband. I started showing interests in my own life; school, my singing and job prospects for our future. I have been a stay at home for all of these years and wanted to explore life but he just couldn't handle that so our marriage is ending. I beg and plead almost on a weekly basis for him to come home and be a family again but to no avail. It is killing me inside literally!! He was and is the love of my life and I married for life I thought. I supported him through college, job changes, and then Grad. School and he couldn't give that to me in return. I will never regret having the surgery but I have lost my true love because of it. I don't know if I will ever find that kind of love again. We went through some counseling but he gave up so quickly. I don't understand how 15 years together could end just like that. It's been awhile since your post. I am going through the motions and looking for support now. How are you doing? Prayers, Susan