HELP!!!! ? for you all

my ? is after you or your spouse had the surgery did you or they cheat because they got too much attention. please let me know. deperate for answers

Shanna- Hey I haven't had the surgery yet, but I thought I'd make a comment. My darling hubby I know is afraid that I will cheat on him after I have the surgery bc I will be thin! He married me fat and I only got fatter! Which to me proves he loves me for me! And he is 6'3 142 lbs and the man that I love! If your not happy with something tell your spouse. Like compliment me more. Or whatever you need. Communication is so the key! Learned that the hard way when we were dating in high school! But anyways, with or without weight loss a spouse may cheat if they got alotta attention. Both sexes! If a woman is being complimented by alotta men and not her hubby then she may cheat! Also if a man is being flirted with its hard for a man not to stray! Unless the two of your are totally committed then they can cheat. I know this bc I have seen it! Not with weight loss patients, but let me tell you this story: (the names are changed to protect the innocent! LOL!) Jacob and Nancy are good friends with me! They married after dating for a while. Then after a year Nancy became pregnant! Nancy was a size 12-14 when they married. Then after the baby Nancy became a size 24 because Jacob kept telling her to eat for two. Jacob wasn't happy with his now plump wife. So he started talking as friends to a girl named Casey. Casey was a nice size 6-8! Jacob eventually seperated from his wife and dated Casey!! Which Jacob and Nancy where still married! And had a new baby!! Casey ended up not being with him, so Jacob went back to the waiting Nancy. Nancy not thinking she could do better. They are still together. The points of the story is: Some ppl try out something new but want what they had before the new. Some ppl cheat and then wanna get back. Some ppl would NEVER cheat bc they love the other too much. Being heavy then losing weight is wonderful! And if you are meant to be you will be together! I believe that! Speaking from experience, because I didn't think I would get back with my hubby in high school and we did and got married! It may make things harder having a spouse lose weight. All I can say is talk to them about work things out. Don't cheat tell them that, its better to be apart than to cheat on someone. Especially when you said vows infront of God and your family and friends. If your thinking about cheating you or the spouse don't! Talk to them! They may wanna still be with you or you still w/them! Talk tell them what you need! Write it out spell it out! Whatever it takes! And if you still wanna cheat then don't be together. Better to wait until its over than to cheat and make things worse. My hubby has been cheated on many many many many times!! NOT BY ME!! When he was dating before he found me. Putting someone through that isn't worth it! You hurt them! Its best to leave them than stay with them and cheat. Because mostlikey you or the spouse whoever is cheating will end up leaving anyway. I'm totally against cheating! LOL! Beat you can tell! My advice is talk it out don't cheat. Broken record over here! I'm almost 21! Been married almost 3 yrs! But hey what do I know! ~April~ May 13, 2005 surgery scheduled!!!!!

From what I understand, good marriages get better bad marriages end after weight loss.

My husband is going to have wls tomorrow, and up to this point he has not cheated. Am I afraid of what MAY come after reading many of the spouse posts, YES INDEED. But, I have talked to him about all of my fears and he has agreed to go to counseling now as a couple so WE don't get blindsided be the emtional side effects of OUR life changing events. You see He is getting the surgery but I am part of the big picture and we want to make sure we are on solid ground if and when something may come along. All I can tell you is communication is the key to any healthy relationship, period. God Bless You and Keep You. Patience P

I'm waiting to get WLS and I'm actually worried that my husband will end up thinking I'll cheat when the weight comes off. We met after I went through a physcian's program and was 185 (not tiny, but 100# less than now). But I remember when I was younger and thinner and I always got a lot of male (and some female) attention. Even now that I'm heavy, random strangers come up and talk to me about their lives wherever I go (not flirting anymore, just a shoulder to cry on or something) and that sort of makes him uncomfortable. I'm worried that when I lose the weight, I'll have guy****ting on me again and that will make my hubby feel bad. He's thin and sexy, chick**** on him all the time (even when I'm around) but he doesn't seem to notice. But no one ha**** on me since we've been married, so I don't know how it will affect him. I would never cheat - but I know how horrible it feels to live with that suspicion and worry - I'd never want anyone to feel that bad. :(

 I am going through this issue with my girlfriend right now....I am 8 weeks post op and she is freaking out she thinks I have this line of ladies. Just waiting for me ...I tell her time and time again that she is the only one but it's like she doesn't hear me ....it really putting a strain on our relationship