Husband bringing me to tears

RosieSweetie21
on 8/17/15 3:00 pm

It is very tough for people to accept change, because they know they will have to change in some way too. I gained weight because I would eat instead of argue. I would bury my feelings & thoughts, so when I went through the process, I became outspoken and didn't take as much crap. I had to explain to my spouse that I would rather have a civilized argument (respectful, like you would have with your best friend), instead of "stuffing it down". We had to be patient and work through it. After I had ps, (I had the whole deal, face & body), I get hit on a lot-after all I was the fat girl with the great personality. He had to get used to the idea that although others were attracted to me again( &, sush... maybe me to them!) but we were and are, family & I was not going anywhere. I had to reassure him many, many times. (Still have to, occasionally). finished ps over 4 years ago, have gained about 25lbs since my lowest which people kept telling me was "too thin, cancer looking". I would like to lose about 5-10 lbs, which is why I am back to reading the forums, for inspiration. The surgery does NOT have to cost you your marriage, but you will need to communicate & work on it.Good Luck & God bless 

Paiger66
on 11/14/15 5:09 am

Sounds like me. Did you work with a counselor to stop stuffing your feelings or learn to do it on your own?  

cmcelfish
on 11/25/15 5:21 pm

My wife still fearsI am going to have surgery and than leave her. I keep telling her she is wrong assure her I here forever but it does no good. I fear if she keeps feeling and acting the way she is she will push me too far.

(deactivated member)
on 3/16/16 7:44 pm

Ultimately the surgery is about you doing what's best for you personally. You can't be good for others unless you are good for yourself first and foremost. After that, your loved ones, whose needs you normally probably put ahead of your own, have to accept that this time your needs come first. Your health and long term well being depend on it.

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