Help please I need to know if anyone else is out there!

Hi there is so much I am going through...I dont even know where to begin. As I sit here and write this I am in tears. I have been married for about 16 years and I recently had the surgery about 6 months ago...and every thing is changing. I knew that there would be changes but this is alot. I thought my marriage was strong enough to survive this but now i just dont know. I guess we have always had some problems in our marriage but I thought I could handle them as they came along and now i just dont know anymore. I feel like I am becoming a different person like sometimes I think I know just who I am and then the next I don't. Then its like oh yeah I remember her and I see myself again but then I just shut the door on her because I am afraid. Afraid of what? I dont know....I want to be me I want to experience life and I want freedom but yet I just cant seem to do it. My husband is never gonna change...he is held up by things he is unwilling to work on and I feel like I cant deal with that anymore but yet its like I keep making excuses to not be happy. I know that I can be a strong person but I cant seem to find her. I had this surgery to come back to me and now I dont know where I am. Please has anyone ever felt this way...I just wanna know what to do. I just wanna be me. I just want to be happy. and the sad part is is that I thought i was until this surgery these changes its just bringing all sorts of things out and now I realize that I have just been putting up with it, pushing things in the corner outta sight outta mind...but now it just all consumes me.

I have not had surgery yet, but I can't tell you how many times I have heard this sort of problems from people who have lost weight, either from WLS or not. Its hard to explain but, overweight people know who they are, for example my friend was overweight she very quickly lost a bunch of weight, she no longer knows who she is or where she fits in, kind of an identity crisis, when she was fat, she was always "the fat girl in the group" once you get used to that for a long period of time it becomes ingraved in your head. Now she is struggling with her relationship, her job, her life in general. I dont know you, but maybe its something like this that you are experiensing.

Hi there, I have to say that I know what you are feeling....I was 313 and am now 175...and I look damn good. My marriage wasn't great before and now it is even worse! My very best friend who is still a large woman doesn't want me to be around her friends because I look "too good". So I have no one....although I am meeting new people every day....and they don't know that I was a big girl.... it is awsome! I feel like for years I have lowered my standards so that I could be happy and not disappointed. Now I am not willing to do that and it seems like everyone doesn't know how to take that... Anyhoo, you are not alone in your feelings, seek counseling or a friend and chat it out....or post here too! deb

I would recommend professional couseling to help YOU deal with these issues.. there is no shame in looking outside for help. We received outside help to deal with out weight.. it's okay to get professional help to help with these feelings. Hugss and best wishes

I think for women the change in hormone levels can really play with our mind. I went through a period of feeling like I was jus****ching my life, like I was seperate from it somehow. It was scary. It lasted for @ 12 weeks, but now I am feeling much better. Hang in there. Dont make any major descions. Just give your self time to adjust

Your post brought me to tears.  It is as if I were writing this myself.  I am only 2 months out but I feel like my whole world is changing.  My body is already changing.  I was a big girl when I met my husband and I tolerated a lot of mistreatment from him then.  Only because I guess I thought it was the best I could do.  Then after a couple of years together things between us got sooooo much better.  Now, it is like we are this perfect couple with this underlying abusiveness just waiting to come out.  i haven't seen this other side in quite sometime.  But, all of a sudden he starts telling me how different I already look and only 30lbs down,  then here it comes.  I don't know me anymore or him.  I feel like alice falling into wonderland.

Were to begin for me also. My husband just left me two months ago. I thought that through this whole situation that he would be the one person that would stick by me and be proud of me. But that didn't happen he left as drastically as my weight came off. I know we will never be together again, but I'm afraid to put myself out there for love again and I want to be loved so badly. I'm so afraid that going through this will make me bigger again.. :( tears well up each time I think about it. I do not want to be that unhealthy again and definatly not for a relationship to come back into my life.
I wish you all the luck and love in the world. Please know you are not alone in this thing.
Hugs
Paula