148 Lbs DOWN & Divorce on the Horizon

When I got down 100 lbs, this summer, my husband told me he wanted a divorce. I was stunned. I thought I did this surgery to get back to doing the things we had done together before. It is 6 moths later & we are together only because we must sell this house to be able to afford to move on. He's being really nice & is offering 50 % of all his money, income & investments. I am trying hard to be positive. But tonight their was a Xmas Party to celebrate our WLS victories. And I just could not go. How can I celebrate losing 148 lbs when it turns out to be the worst decision of my life. It has cost me my marriage. And in just 2 weeks is our 35th anniversary. Looking for some support please. Mickie

Mickie, I'm really sorry to hear this. I wish I knew what to say but I just don't. I'm sorry.

Hi Mickie. I'm so sorry that you feel sad right now. I know for me, losing my weight has impacted my life in so many ways, some good, some not so good. Even though we may not think so, we change inside as well, and sometimes our loved ones have a hard time adjusting to the new "us". I'm sure you have discussed the reason or reasons why he wants to divorce, maybe it's something that will work itself out in time. Have you suggested a seperation instead? Maybe being apart will help you rekindle the love you once had. Relationships can become stagnant, especially when we don't make them a priority. I won't go into details in this post, but I'm experiencing a similar situation. Please feel free to email if you need a shoulder, my email is [email protected]. I hope you start feeling better about everything. Cathy

Hey girl, I just finalized my divorce the first part of November & I too was married 35 years so I understand where you are coming from except I made the decison to divorce. I'm not the same person & not only because of my weight loss. I'm over 5 years post op & still maintain. We have really grown apart ever since our children grew up & left the nest but the last couple of years has been the most difficult. Life is too darn short to be in a relationship with no communication or compatablilty. He never feels like doing anything & I'm always full of energy. I was drowning in unhappiness so I had to get out & try to find some happiness while I still young enough to enjoy life. Email me anytime you care to chat. HUGS & prayers Peggy B

Keep your head up and don't you gain 1 pound back!!!!! I really believe that your divorce has nothing to do with you weight loss. Some things are not meant to be and if weight loss was part of the plan to save your marriage, i can tell at 2 weeks post op that my hubby will not change. That is why i am so glad that i had the surgery for me and not for him or this marriage. Use your tool to get you a new man. LOL Much blessings your way.

I have often wondered if it were not for my kids if I would also get a divorce from my post WLS spouse. If the reason is that you got the band, then get rid of it and go back to what you had if it was wonderful, if you can, if it's what you both want.