Scared...

Even though I am not technically married, I am going to post here.... My fiance and I have been together for 2 years and engaged for 1 year. We were supposed to be getting married in August, but have decided together (his idea) to postpone the marriage for a year so that I can get healthy and LIVE first! While he has made tons of comments in the past of wishing that I could lose some weight, he hasn't been disparaging or anything. He still tells me he loves me and wants me all the time. He is 100% supportive of the surgery, mostly b/c we've just recently found out I have NAFLD and if this goes untreated I could die w/in a year it's progressed so quickly...but also b/c the surgery will fix more than just one problem. Now, for the reason I'm posting (I'm sure you've been wondering while I've been blabbing)...a good friend of my mother's had the surgery a few years ago and she's been totally supportive and in trying to be helpful she's been terrifying me w/ horror stories of her husband completely changing after she had WLS. They actually ended up getting divorced because of it. I love my fiance and I don't want to lose him just b/c I'm trying to LIVE....anyone have encouraging words? She's scaring the beejeezus outta me....

Big {{{{{HUG}}}}} Don't let what happened to someone else make you scared. It doesn't mean that it will absolutely happen to you. Chances are good that her marriage was in trouble before she lost weight (even if she wasn't aware of it). It sounds like you and your fiance have a supportive, loving relationship - if you both work hard to keep it that way, you'll probably be just fine. It's good to be aware that emotional/relationship upheavals can occur - that way you can pay attention and take some extra care so it won't happen to you :) But don't let it get under your skin too much. Just keep talking openingly with him and make sure you listen, too! You're doing the right thing and you're very brave for deciding to save your own life even though the method and fall-out can be a bit scary. :clap: :clap: :clap:

Thanks! I really appreciate you taking the time to give me some positive words of encouragement :-) I'm doing my best to not let my fear of what COULD happen in the future ruin what IS happening now. At any rate, he's been as involved as possible in all of this. Kind of hard since I'm having the surgery in a diff state and it's not that easy for him to get off work. I quit my job so I could get my life underway this summer b/4 starting nursing school in Fall. Thanks again!