First time in this forum, glad I found it!

Hi folks, I just this morning found this forum after posting in the post-op pregnancy one and thinking to myself there out to be a forum for post-op parenting since so many of our food issues are going to carry over to our kids and spouses. Here's a little background. I just turned 40 in May. I had my open RNY in may 2003, lost over a hundred lbs (130 I think? maybe a tiny bit more) but plateaued for 3 months, and decided at 1 yr out to get pregnant with doc's okay. WE;;, in may 2004 we conceived right away and Tripp was born in jan 2004. he's my angel and a total cutie... I still had and have some weight to lose to get to goal, I'd like to get to 180 or even 200, and then have plastics and workout to get rid of last 20 or so of skin. (skin is already a big issue, I am only 5'1" went from BMI of 68.5 to 43.2 currently. (anything under 211 lbs for me is JUST obese no more super or morbid 132 to 158 lbs is overweight and anything under 132 is normal for me.. sigh!) Still e had years of miscarriages and infertility treatment and I knew about the hyperfertility that comes after WLS so we decided to amke a baby then have me finish my weight loss. That is still the plan after 1 more kid, yeah we got a little greedy hahah! Anyway I just knew how important it was to myself and my hubby to have a child even if it meant I'd never get to goal weight. Just seeing Tripp's smile told me I'd made the right choice. He is now almost 21 months and I've just really started having to deal with tough thoughts regarding his eating habits. I feed him healthy nutritious stuff, but last 3 months he won't eat any meats, just fruits, and hubby gives himthings like dried pineapple, dates, pretzels and some junk food. he doesn't get junk more than once a week or so, fast food maybe once too if we are out and do not have a better choice. Most of the time he out eats me and I just know as he gets older it is going to be difficult to explain why mommy eats such a different way than he does. or why his friends get candy and soda and we never have it in the house. anyway , we are possibly pregnant again right now (have been trying and I got a faint line on the home test middle of the night monday, did blood test with doc and should find out today). So I want to start understanding for myself how to lay a good groundwork for my children and not be too rigid to the point they are abnormal or can never eat out or go to a friend's house without me freaking out about the garbage they might eat. In my mind, what I owe my children in this world is love, a home, clothes, food, good values, and I owe him a better nutritional outlook than the one hubby and I had that helped us both become morbidly obese so young. Knowing my children will have 2 diabetic parents who have the obesity gene, I must be ever more determined to help them grow up healthy. Anyway, that is where I am coming from other silly data on me, irish and polish, married 15+ years to hubby, live in NW suburbs of chicago, stay at home mom for now, have a background in art, insurance, computers, child care, medical technology, and legal research. (can you tell I don't settle down easily in a career? haha!) Anyway, so that's who I am and where I am coming from. hope to be here often. Ciao! Colleen

Hi Colleen! We think along the same lines about the sugar and soda. My kids have never tasted soda (and at 4 and 5 have never asked to even though my husband drinks Diet Coke like it's water). I've told them that it's an adult drink that's not good for people's bodies and once you start drinking it a lot and then stop, it can give you a bad headache. They've seen it affect my husband, so they don't want it. With sugar, it's a treat maybe once every few weeks. They were always taught that it's not healthy for their body because it has no nutrients though a little bit once in a while is okay. I hope that they'll approach junk food at other peoples houses that way. The 'just a little bit is okay but that's it' mentality. As far as our new way of eating goes, I think you'll have very little issue with Tripp even noticing how much you eat. He will have grown up around you eating that way for his whole life so it won't seem strange at all. Mine were 3 and 5 when I had surgery and maybe twice in almost 7 months have they asked me if that was all I was eating or why I'm not eating much. I just tell them that I eat until I'm a little bit full just like they do and with my stomach being smaller, it means that I don't need to eat as much. That seems to satisfy them and they start talking about something else. So Colleen, don't worry too much. You'll teach your children the best way that you can and all that you can do is trust that they'll follow your guidelines when the time comes for them to make their own choices. Now I have to tell you, genetics play a huge role in if someone is overweight or not. My son (the 5 year old) is slender and weighs about 55 pounds. My daughter (4) is shaped like me and weighs 80, though she is as tall as her brother. They don't eat junk and her favorite things in the world are vegetables which make up the majority of her diet. She would choose salad over mac and cheese any day! Some issues are just out of our hands and we do the best that we can for what what cards are dealt.