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Hello there,
I agree to a point with others that it is your life, and your health. However, if you spend a lot of time with family, the sister-in-laws included, they will need to be supportive in your endeavors to get to a comfortable, healthy goal weight. When they make the statement to just accept yourself you can easily respond you have, and per that fact, you understand that part of acceptance is coming to the realization of what is and is not healthy for you. You have accepted that there is an issue and are brave and tenacious enough to solve it your way with the support of family.
Thank them for giving you their support in the beginning by doing this you are setting your expectations to them that they will be supportive of your decision. You could make mention that their statement in the past to accept yourself helped you realize, that even they saw a need for a change, and that in a way helped you come to your current conclusion of what will work best for you.
If you do this in a loving way and they are not supportive they will not be no matter when you tell them.
Just my little food for thought.
Well good luck to you! Won't be long before you're on the loser's bench and feeling better!!
Over 100 lbs lost! and 13 lbs below goal weight!
Congratulations on your weight loss!
Thanks for the advice. I don't know that I'm not ever going to tell the SILs, because I have already told some other people in the family. I am not embarrassed about it or anything; I like being active, and I am doing this to preserve my current and future mobility so that I can remain active. I'm 56 and feel like it's now or never. I certainly am not going to tell them before the surgery, though. I don't want naysayers this close to the procedure.
I don't think a lot of people understand that even if you're tall and big-boned and can carry more weight than someone who is petite, your feet and knees only know what the number on the scale is 
I am not as tall as you at 5'6", but have had stress fractures and an ACL repair. My lower body is begging me to take a load off!
Age 56. HW: 233 SW: 214 VSG 9/20/18, Hosp. of the Univ. of Pennsylvania, Dr. Noel Williams
I disagree that you have to tell them eventually. It's your health and quite frankly nobody else's business, other than your husband's of course. But even at that the decision is ultimately yours. My husband is the only one who knows that I had surgery. I'm not sure those people in my circle would even be aware of WLS - or maybe they are and suspect it, but its not a conversation we have.
I've lost 110 lbs, and people are like wow, I didn't think you were that big....well I'm also 5'11 so I carried it well, but if ya get out the pictures, yeah, I was that big!!
Tell them only if and when you are ready. Good luck!
Over 100 lbs lost! and 13 lbs below goal weight!
Thanks for the advice. I am happy there is a place where I can talk about these things with people that have been there!
Thankfully I haven't received negative responses. I did get comments from people who said I didn't look big enough for surgery. I just responds thanks but the scale and my doctors disagree.
I would just respond that it's a decision you made for yourself and you want to give yourself the best life possible, whi*****ludes being a healthy weight.
Don't be afraid to stop the conversation if they keep stating their opinion and thoughts. While the have a right to their opinion, you have the right not to listen.
Best of luck
Hi Lightweights,
I am new to OH so don't have my signature set up yet, but I started at BMI 37, have a surgery date for VSG 9/20, and am both excited and terrified.
There are a lot of people whom I have not told about my upcoming surgery, including my husband's sisters. One of my SILs in particular, when I've mentioned dieting in the past, always said "You look fine; just accept yourself". I will have to tell the SILs eventually, but I'm not going to do it until I'm on the other side of surgery.
How have some of you dealt with people in your life who don't think you need bariatric surgery? I thought about surgery long and hard for over a year, and I know it's the only way to have a chance to be healthy and mobile into the future, but I'm wondering how some of you have dealt with the naysayers.
Thanks!
It?s easy to do actually . The first essential thing is getting out to exercise every morning ... you are making yourself and your health your highest priority ( which it probably should have been all along ... it?s a very frequent mistake which children constantly point out in their innocence and honesty)
Choosing not to Re-apply the fat you?ve lost through hard work and exercise through fatty diet choices is also obvious. The exact same tastes can be recreated healthfully and low fat if you choose and exert the effort to find fat free ingredients.
in later years you may have to address sleep issues which are weight gainers , vitamin deficiencies (depressants ) and other stressors ( just life) . Being healthy and proud of how you look and feel helps a LOT.
As far as I know, basically losing TOO MUCH WEIGHT isn't an issue for the vast majority of light weights. I was 205 when I had my surgery, I had been dieting and working HARD on weight loss for a decade without significant success (lowest was into the high 160s). I opted for the RNY because I knew my body would fight it like crazy and I wanted to get the most effective tool I could.
My weight loss has been very easy - not as dramatic as some but I've never been as diligent as I really wanted to use the honeymoon period to build a sustainable food plan. I'm starting to see that my plan isn't the best - you should go full out on weight loss the first year at least. None the less I'm wearing size zero slacks and a size 2 suit coat today so I'm feeling generally successful! I've built regular exercise into my life, I'm eating whole foods, very healthy foods, and I'm getting in my vitamins.
I feel like all the hard work I did trying to diet the weight off has really paid off now that I have the RNY. I'm really good at weighing and logging my food. I don't assume that days when I eat almost nothing I'm going to be below my calorie goals so I always log... I feel like I'm more in tune with my body for all the work I did in the decade preceding my surgery.
Good luck!
5'4" 49yrs at surgery date
SW - 206 CW - 128
M1 - 20lb M2 - 9 lb M3 - 7 lb M4 - 7 lb M5 - 7 lb M6 - 6 lb M7 - 4 lb M8 - 1 lb M9 - 2 lb M10 - 4 lb M11 - 0lb M12 - 3lb M13 - 0 lb M14 - 2 lb M15 - 0 lb M16 - 3 lb
I would highly suggest just about anything but re-banding. The band seems to have a lifespan of about 10 years for most people and most doctors won't even do them anymore because of the many complications. I had it and was extremely successful for 11 years until it slipped badly and had to come out in an emergency operation. Like you, I would just love to be back at my banded weight (around 105) and have restriction again, now I am back up to 148 pounds after it was removed 5 months ago.
Mary
