Fear

Thanks for the welcome! I've been sitting here watching the Olympic track events (always amazing!) and I trying to decide if I want surgery.  I workout 3 to 5 times a week for 60 min intense workouts with a trainer. I'm pretty strong physically and after 6 months have fair stamina, but I'm not losing anything. It gets so frustrating! Anyway, I've done similar very low calorie diets before and I can lose some weight, but I always gain it back.  That's what I fear most....I fear having surgery and losing all my excess weight, then gaining it all back. I know that does happen to some. Did anyone else have this fear before you decided to have surgery? How do you get over it? 

I had the same fear (and like most the same history of gain, lose, gain more).  I am almost at maintenance so I will be finding out soon, BUT there is a difference.  I had VSG, but as I understand it RNY gives the same restriction. If you eat a dense protein, you can't easily overeat at one sitting. You get full quick and you absolutely don't want to overeat at that point as you will either vomit or feel like it.  I find that on a really hungry day (and I'm getting those now), if I have a protein rich meal/snack, it takes care of that hunger (simple carbs not so much).  This is the "tool" everyone talks about using and it works!

I think my concern was more not losing the weight than gaining it all back.  Why would anyone let it all come back?  I had heard "you can out eat any surgery" but I think I didn't actually believe it.  Now I believe it.  My low was 111.  I am hanging around 133-4 these days and have for several years.  But it isn't because I don't work at it and have designed my eating life around it.  I can add several pounds over a weekend easily.  It is easier to get back on track, but you do have to get back on track.  Your body will require so much less once it is tiny that you will have to be careful for the rest of your life.  I don't think doctors prepare folks for the regain part, maybe in an attempt to not scare they away from surgery.  But regain is real.  Very, very few just slide through maintenance with out a struggle and some regain, even though we all say, that weight is gone, never to be seen again. 

I think you have to decide NOW if you are willing to do whatever it takes to stay where you want to be.  You will lose, everyone does.  You will have a tool that will give you help that you haven't had before.  But you will regain some and you will need to manage what you eat for the rest of your life. 

I absolutely had the same fear. I have always been a successful dieter, unfortunately I have always regained it all. 

I'm just a little over 3 months post-op, so I haven't had problems with regain yet, I honestly don't think it's physically possible at this point, LOL. But I can already tell that there are some foods that will make it easy to over eat. When you read about "slider" foods, take note. They are a real thing. -sigh-  I've noticed that it's much easier to eat yogurt or cheese or even very soft veggies, than it is to eat a serving of chicken breast. Good luck over eating that, it just ain't gonna happen!

The only advise I could give is what I've learned from reading about people on this forum.

Make small goals and try hard to reach them. By small goals, I mean -- "eat all of my protein first today at lunch". Then once you've done that, set another goal. "Drink # ounces of water before dinner." It's so much easier to eat the four small bites of cheese than the chicken-steak-pork-fish.. etc. But if you plan to eat your dense protein first, you'll be so proud of yourself when you get to eat the cheese. Don't let a single instance of weakness ruin all of your hard work. Take things one bite at a time. 

Yes it's a small victory, but it's yours and you stayed in control. Own it, be proud of yourself. 

Thanks ladies for your response. It helps.

Why would anyone let it all come back? Indeed, that is a good question with no answer. If I had kept off all the weight I've lost over the years, I wouldn't be here talking about this now. I always go into a weight loss phase with the intention that it's the last time, that I'm going to beat it this time. Yet, I always fail because either I can't lose anything, or at least not near enough, or I quickly gain it all back in the blink of an eye. It's not like I try to gain it back, it just quietly comes back. So I guess that's what drives my fear. What if this is no different? I realize this is kind of a rhetorical question since there is no way of knowing unless I try.

When I attended the seminar on Saturday, I was almost in tears by the time I left. I'm not even sure why exactly....the fact that my complications indicate different procedures, the fact that I sent my patient packet in 10 days ago but they haven't made an appointment yet and I'm impatient, or the fact that I'm a "lightweight" and it's obvious compared to some poor folks there that must be in the 50's and 60's BMI range and I feel undeserving? Maybe all of those things. I'm just to tired of fighting my weight. Yet, it doesn't sound like the fight will ever end even after surgery. Maybe it makes a difference when you're winning. Repeated defeat is hard for anyone. 

Okay, session is over and I need to work. Have a good day everyone.  :-)

hi there,

you sound a lot like me.  i worked out with a trainer for 1,5 years before surgery, i also ran 2/3 half marathons a year.  it did not matter the weight always stayed with me.  the RNY is the best thing i ever did for myself.  the second best thing listening to the vets on here like Roz and Price,  I am now 1.5 years out and have to be aware every moment about what i am eating.  I still work with a trainer and now run and run.  

regain is a true thing and i think it scares us all.  But only we can control what goes into our mouths.  i do not think the fear ever leaves, but i also do not think that is a bad thing, just one more thing to keep us accountable.  

as i said best thing i ever did for myself.  good luck in your journey.

bonnie

Hi Bonnie,  thanks for your response. I checked out your profile and OMG we are very much alike and that gives me hope. Your work-out schedule looks like mine....except I'm not running now due to plantar fasciitis :-( 

anyway, I hear you and Thanks!