Justifying need for surgery

Hi all,  Still in pro-op process and my doc is asking me to lose 21 lbs prior to surgery.  My BMI is a low 36 and losing it would put me under 35.  Technically I would not qualify if they were not using my initial consult weight.  My husband feels that if I can lose the required 21 lbs for the doc why can't I keep going and not have surgery.  I know why I need the surgery and how it works.  I tried to explain to him that I may be able to lose the weight but keeping it off it the hard part and a sleeve with help me better be able to do that.  I am not good at explaining things so if anyone has a better answer that may help him understand, please do share!

Aslo I have a past eating disorder issue that he has concerns will reemerge with this surgery. I on the other hand am not looking to surgery for that reason, but out of leading a healthy life as the eating disorder is no longer an option in my life. I have two children and I'm doing what I need to live a long healthy life for them.

i was 100% on board with having this surgery but I must admit my husband has said some things for me to think about.  Also I have never been able to maintain a normal weight for a significant time without dieting or other unhealthy means. So for me this is the answer as I have tried everything else.

And advice, insight, thoughts, etc would be greatly appreciated.

A

My BMI WAS 39 at initial consultation.  After several months of physician supervised weight loss (required by insurance), my BMI was 33 at the time of surgery.  Insurance still paid and I still needed it.  I had lost weight countless times previously on diets and always gained back more than I lost.  Ultimately I ended up with high blood pressure which couldn't be brought down and I was pre-diabetic.  This is different - a real tool to take advantage of.  I'm thrilled that I did it and looking forward to healthy years ahead.

This is just my perspective, since I'm only 7 weeks post-op.

I've had a few days so far that were honestly brutal. The healing period is rough and I've had more than a small amount of complications and issues. My husband asked me during one of those times if I had any regrets. Even then, vomiting and shaking, I told him I would honestly not change a thing, and I'd do it again this weekend if I needed to.

It sounds like you said that your husband brought up some points that make you think you might not be 100% on board. If this is true, maybe you should make an appointment with your surgeons psychologist? This is a major surgery and a lifelong commitment, and you should be completely sure.

I hope you get some answers from the vets, as I can only give you my own perspective at this point. I wish you well. 

If you look at the stats of folks who do have surgery and folks who don't, the stats are better for folks who have surgery.  We all know that we had lost and gained over and over.  this gave us a fighting change. 

I will say however, that they do surgery on our tummies not our heads.  And you can out eat ever surgery.  There are many many people who are walking around after surgery that get just as big as they were before.  I know several who just went right back to how they were eating and gained it all back.  They say surgery didn't work.  No surgery did work, they didn't work it.  Keeping it off is hard, very hard.  For some of us, you see us here almost every day, being accountable and working to keep it off. 

I do think that the Drs don't emphasis the maintenance part as much as they should.  Yes, surgery will help you get the weight off, but only you can assure it stays off.

Price said everything I was thinking.  I got a lot of info from my surgeon staff prior to surgery and at checkups for the first year; however, no one ever told me that after the honeymoon period is over, you have to watch your weight just like anyone else.  I had this idea that because my stomach was the size of a Twinkie (my surgeon's words) I would not gain weight because I wouldn't eat enough.  Wrong!  I picked up some bad habits and was eating too fast so I have had some regain.  I'm working on taking it off.

My husband had the same objections and comments...as did the rest of my family, but I knew what I needed to do for me and ultimately for them.  While he was not a fan of the process...he's a HUGE fan of the results!!  And he's the first to tell everyone just how much work it has been and continues to be.  The decision is a very serious, life changing one, but I would do it again in a heartbeat!  Best of luck!

Thanks everyone for the replies.  I know this is the right thing for me and glad to know i have this place to come to for support!

my bmi was barely 35 at my initial weigh in. i believe as lightweights we can have better long term health and better results ( reaching and staying at goal weight long term) provided were mindful about food choices and movement. 

before i had surgery i was constantly being told i was beautiful as i was ( size 8-10 5'9") yet i felt unhealthy and was almost diabetic with high blood pressure. those chronic and life shortening issues have resolved and now i love my taut and toned sexy body. 

i no longer fear food or feel like my burgeoning body is my enemy. i don't have to live on a diet or over excercise. 

it helped me not to discuss my surgery with family members or jealous friends. frankly only one friend knew.((())) good luck