No support from family or friends

I have told a couple of friends and my sister that I scheduled surgery in Mexico and am having it next week.  My sister told me I wasn't heavy enough for wls and a friend doesn't agree with me going to Mexico. One friend I told today, I have known her 30 years. I asked for her support and prayers.  She has been texting me telling not to do it.  That I don't believe in myself anymore and am trying to fix it with a cheap surgery.  I am really getting mad at her, but don't want to tell her.  Her latest text says she is shocked and that I am stubborn about my decision.  I am not going to reply.

I had the same reaction so when the time came, I didn't even tell my wife I was going for surgery. I'm out 18 months and down 150lbs and I have still not told anyone anything. 

You'll get the support and care you need from the staff at the hospital and in your recovery center / hotel. Don't plan on anything more or join a support group as soon as your back home.

So sorry but many of us have had the same reaction.  I told folks it was a decision between me and my Dr for my health then refused to discuss it further. 

My surgery was 1.5 hr away so I didn't go to the post surgery support any time that I didn't have to for diet changes, etc. but this board was my support.  I have been here basically every day and will continue to be as long as folks need help. 

Trust that you are doing what you need to do for your health.  Trust yourself and we will be here for you.

I had similar reactions over the years when I talked about it, so when I decided it was time for me to finally get it done, I told only a few key family members. My husband, my two sisters, and my three adult children. They all love me enough to trust my judgment, and enough to support me no matter what. 

At this point, you've decided that it's your time to take care of yourself. Their worries and fears are their own. You can't let them decide your future, only you can do that. Trust yourself and your surgeon and do what's best for you. 

Tiga - did you post a year ago - so that this is not some spur of the moment decision.  You may need to revisit why you want the surgery to get refocused.  To get you started, here is why I had the surgery.  It helps to actually write down your reasons.  You do not post your weight or BMI, so you should take that into account.

Most likely your reasons are more than your appearance. I would suggest making a list and then you can check them off over the next months and have motivation to keep the weight off.  For what it's worth, here is the logic I had for surgery: 

   1 - My knee is messed-up and if I do not get the weight off, I will be looking at knee surgery.

   2 - I just lost 100+ pounds with a conventional diet and put 90% of it back on within 2 years, so I am not one of the lucky 3-5% who will keep the weight off.

   3 - WLS is easier to recover from than knee surgery.

   4 - WLS was (and is) the right option for me. 

   5- Things that will be better:  enjoying the outdoors, clothes, . . .

I was more than nervous - before surgery I updated my will, changed my insurance benficiaries, had everything notarized, made sure a lawyer-friend had a folder with all my important papers, (I had the advanced directives form to fill out but I did not get around to it).  That is just me - be prepared.  But, now all that stuff is done. 

But, when it was all said and done, and I was in pre-op and felt the first wave of sedative kick in, I looked at the clock and my reaction was - 7:42, my new lucky number!  I had difficult times - most of us had, but pre-op clarity will help you get through a lot of post-op crap.

May I humbly suggest you generate a list and write down your motivations for surgery.  It might help you prevent 'buyers remorse' and give you focus to get through any difficult times and negative Nellies. 

Thank all of you for your support.  Yes, I do have reasons other than my appearance.  My Dr. has already told me I will need a knee replacement in the future and I have osteoarthritis starting and degenerative joint disease.  I am hoping that the surgery will take enough weight off so I don't have knee surgery and my back will stop hurting.  Everyone is my family is large.  I can see from my 4 older siblings what it is going to be like and I am trying to be preventative.  I have not told my two children.  My oldest has already expressed before that she doesn't agree with it.  I have researched this for about 2 years now.  It is not a spur of the moment decision.  My husband doesn't agree with it either, but he is going with me when I have the surgery.  I did send one more reply text last night to my friend simply stating that I wasn't feeling any support from her.  She just texted me back still trying to convince me not to go to Mexico for the surgery.  There was one other friend I was going to tell, but now I'm not.  I will just have to find a support group if I can or as one of you said, you all will be my support on Obesity Help.  Thank you for that.  I really need it.

Thank all of you for your support.  Yes, I do have reasons other than my appearance.  My Dr. has already told me I will need a knee replacement in the future and I have osteoarthritis starting and degenerative joint disease.  I am hoping that the surgery will take enough weight off so I don't have knee surgery and my back will stop hurting.  Everyone is my family is large.  I can see from my 4 older siblings what it is going to be like and I am trying to be preventative.  I have not told my two children.  My oldest has already expressed before that she doesn't agree with it.  I have researched this for about 2 years now.  It is not a spur of the moment decision.  My husband doesn't agree with it either, but he is going with me when I have the surgery.  I did send one more reply text last night to my friend simply stating that I wasn't feeling any support from her.  She just texted me back still trying to convince me not to go to Mexico for the surgery.  There was one other friend I was going to tell, but now I'm not.  I will just have to find a support group if I can or as one of you said, you all will be my support on Obesity Help.  Thank you for that.  I really need it.

oops! You can tell I'm new at posting as I sent my response twice. 

My husband wasn't for it until he went to a seminar where the surgeon explained everything.  He also went to my appointments so he knew what my diet would be and what to expect.  After that, he was my biggest supporter.  If your family and friends are overweight, that might be why they are against it. 

It is your decision so don't listen to the naysayers.  My RNT was 8 years ago this July and I'm so glad I did it.  I was taking numerous meds and now only take thyroid medication and one for restless legs.

I am sorry you are not getting the support you would like. I had similar reactions over the years that  I wanted to do this. There comes a time when you have to do what you need for YOU. Can't please all of the people all of the time and this is one of those times. I delayed my surgery by five years as my husband wasn't supportive. Finally one day I told him I was going to do it, for me. whether he liked it or not. Since we had to pay the bill, our ins did not cover anything to do with WL, it was a huge decision for me to make without his support. Once I said those words he became my greatest supporter. Who would have thought that would happen? Certainly not me. I had my surgery in Mexico and due to health issues he could not travel with me but I did it anyway and I am so glad. Hopefully some of your detractors will come round once they see you happy, healthy and weighing less. Good luck.