Some thoughts...

Hi, all! Thanks for the lovely replies from some of you!! I really appreciate the support. I have my first group class today, and I am a little nervous. I felt very out of place at the introductory meeting two weeks ago, and I am hoping I won't feel the same way today.

I have told a few selected family members and close friends that they do not think it is a good idea, and that I do not need it. I haven't had the guts to tell my boyfriend yet, and he lives overseas so he hasn't been around for any of the decision making process....anyone have advice on how to bring this up to a partner? Especially one who doesn't think I need the surgery...he loves me at this size and has always said so. But he does support me getting fit, and has said he wants me to happy.

Another concern I am having is the loose skin issue....I am young with fairly tight skin (at the moment), and not majorly overweight, but I am worried I will have some amount of loose skin that I will have to have removed, and that my body will still look ruined.

Sorry to rant about many different topics, but I have just been thinking about so many things! Hope everyone is having a great day. 

If this is true "he loves me at this size and has always said so. But he does support me getting fit, and has said he wants me to happy." than he won't have any problem with whatever you decide. My husband's only concern was that it's a major surgery and he's fearful of that aspect. Just tell him.

Just a thought here, but as you said you're relatively young? I know this is a seriously personal question to ask a person you've never met face to face, but -  do you plan to have children? Because if not? Haha, just you wait. 

(Feel free to say this is none of my business if you don't want to talk about that subject with strangers).

I agree with lykapal, just tell him that you've decided to do this and you think it will help you get and stay fit. It will require a lot of work but you are determined and would appreciate his support.

If you're young and you have good good skin and muscle tone now, you'll likely be in good shape once you lose all your weight. The first year or so you might look a bit like a melted candle but that quickly changes and your muscle tone will kick in and you'll get that little layer of healthy fat back under your skin...it's a process, so just relax and get through it. You can do this and we'll support you as well.

--gina

I lost 80 lbs with WW when I was 40 and had no extra skin.  I do now but I was 62 and lost over 100.  You should be fine.

Part of this is about looking good but the major part is about being and staying healthy.  That is what you need to tell him.

Congrats on your decision to become healthy!!!    I'm not sure how you should tell your boyfriend but I would definitely tell him before you have the surgery.  I feel the sooner the better is best for a good relationship.

I agree with Price about the loose skin.  When I was younger and lost a lot of weight on WW several times I never had loose skin but being older now I have quite a bit.  It might be loose early out because it comes off quickly but I think you will firm up. A girl that works with me is in her mid 30's and lost 100 pounds and she has no loose skin at all.

Besides my youngest DD EVERY one told me I didn't need surgery but after I lost all of my weight those same people tell me how great I look and can't believe I lost 90 pounds. This is a huge commitment so no one can make the decision but you.

Good Luck with all the decisions you have to make!!

I'm going to be very polite at first in regards to those who have told you "You don't need the surgery." but later in this post if I get heated, forgive me in advance because I AM SO OVER random people thinking they have the ability or that it's their job to inform you how you should best take care of yourself. Okay so the negative came out before the positive...sorry. I'm southern and a firecracker, it is what it is. It comes from a good place, I digress.

It's major surgery. The people who love you and care about you will obviously be concerned because they don't want you to go anywhere. And while no one likes to think of the complications or morbidities of surgery, you do yourself a huge disservice if you ignore them. That said, in general bariatric procedures are no more risky than Gallbladder removal. All surgeries carry common risks, we've all heard them.

As far your boyfriend goes, you need to tell him and you need to tell him now. Delaying is just not being honest and may leave him feeling like he's been betrayed, if for no other reason than people who love you and are in an intimate relationship with you tend to want to be involved in life altering decisions of their partners. If the shoe were on the other foot, would you be mad if he didn't tell you asap? If he supports you getting fit, even if he loves your current size, he will support your choice for surgery eventually. He'll probably rebuff at first, just be patient and explain your reasonings, provide him with facts and statistics of surgeons you've considered that have good patient outcomes. That may help him ease up to the thought of you having surgery. Just help him understand it's not just to look good, but to be healthy.

I haven't had surgery yet so I can't really comment on loose skin. From what I've read and others here have echoed, you've got a far better chance at your skin snapping back into shape the younger you are, the more hydrated you are, and if you have under 100 lbs to lose. It seems to be excess skin becomes an issue at the 100 lb + mark. Your body will probably still have loose skin at first, I know you don't want to hear that, but it's likely to be true. However, the more your body gets used to it's new self, the more water you drink, strength training you do and how fast you lose all play a part and may eventually tip the scales in your favor to the point that loose skin = moot. That's what I hope for you (and myself) anyway.

Good luck :)

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and detailed reply. I don't mind your firecracker-ness! It's great! I understand that people are likely concerned about my safety, and of course I have taken it into account. I just feel that overall, it is safer to have the surgery and not have major health issues down the line. IT is a benefit/risk analysis and I believe that the benefits will far outweigh - no pun intended - the risks. 

I am still so nervous to talk to my boyfriend. I have a new concern lately, that he (and others) will think I am taking the easy way out - but we all know that isn't true; this is a long-term lifestyle change that I'll have to stick to to make changes. I hope he won't feel negatively about this choice I'm making. I guess I'm also waiting to see if I get approved by my insurance before I tell him about it; so sense in worrying him before there is something worry about, you know? 

As far as the loose skin I think it will probably be minimal, having heard what everyone has said on this post; thanks to all who have offered advice on that topic. I will make sure to stay extra hydrated and will plan to lift weights and tone up after surgery!