Feel like I've lost my mind- scheduled for Sleeve end of October- think it might be wrong...

This summer I finally said I've had it with the chronic dieting/not dieting/dieting/not dieting and am now thinking about my future.

Single and 49, 212lbs (though I look less I think) and with 2 co-morbidities. Lymphedema in my leg and sleep apnea.  Even though Lymphedema is not an official comorbidity, it should be because it adds about 40lbs to my leg. In solid, dense tightness.

I am so depressed about where my life is and my failings I feel like I wake up just wanting to go back to sleep. To hide.

I decided to take control of this and get help. Counselor about the feelings, eating right and scheduling WLS.

For the first time in my life the idea of being thin, or normal weight- which I've never been even once since early childhood seemed within reach.  This could be the magic button that could help me to get there.

So I scheduled it in Mexico. For today actually. Actually, really. Today. And then I cancelled it.  And moved it to the end of October.

I live in daily fear about getting the sleeve.  About chronic acid reflux or about ulcers, or about vitamin deficiencies and bone osteo issues, and about regain after 3-5 years.  I don't want to do this surgery and go through this if it is likely that my metabolism will shift back to what it is now. And I see this all over the boards- people regaining. 

I wanted the DS.  I am 5'4 212.  I have been committed to food journaling and I never exceed 1250 calories and I never lose weight. I am literally stuck at 212. And I feel like killing myself sometimes. Like I am never getting ahold of this thing that holds me so back. I have to get a job. I am unemployed and my health has been a real issue.  So has buying clothes. I am a size 22 on the right side of my body- and a size 16 on the other side.  And I am a  1/2 size and a size wider on my right foot- when i can find shoes.  And that's not often.

I feel desperate.  And I am frightened that this Sleeve surgery may not be the answer and I am vacillating between cancelling it or rescheduling. ANd throwing in the towel altogether and just facing facts that I am a failure at losing and I'll never be normal weight.

Bless your heart.   Your post brought tears to my eyes.   I feel your pain in this post.    Do your research and make sure you get the right surgery for you.     There is MAJOR malabsorption with the DS.   Also MAKE SURE if you are having surgery in Mexico that the surgeon has EXTENSIVE experience with doing the DS.   Personally I wouldn't do that surgery in Mexico.    There aren't even tons of surgeons here in the US that does that surgery.   What makes you think you won't be successful with the sleeve?    Trust me....weight regain happens with ALL the WLS including the DS.    I know people who have had DS that has regained their weight.   It is all about our mindset and our choices in foods, and portion sizes that we put in our bodies and our commitment to exercise regularly that keeps the weight off of us once we have WLS.    There is no magic surgery that you can have done that will allow you to do whatever with out a weight gain.    Don't throw in the towel.    Just make sure you make the best choice for yourself.    Make a commitment to yourself that if you have WLS you will make the best choices for the rest of your life.   I am not trying to upset you but rather make you think about all your choices available.    Lots of surgeons here in the US have "cash pay" prices that are much lower than they advertise.  I wish you lots of luck in your decision to have WLS.    You will be in my prayer that you make the best decision for you and your life.  

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

Vivian said it all - you sound desperate but I think a lot of us were at that point at some time.  I'm almost 6 years out and have maintained the majority of my weight loss.  I have put 10 lbs on I don't want, but I know what to do to get it off.

It's a life-long committment to keeping your good health.  During your weight loss period is when you figure out the right things for you to do to maintain and keep the weight off.  I eat SO much healthier now than I ever did before - and I have my "tool" to remind me when I'm not doing the right things.

There are many folks who are successful with the Sleeve - but do your research.  Major malabsorption can happen with RNY and DS.  Sleeve is primarily restrictive but can have *some* malabsorption but not to the degree of the others.  Do your homework - educate yourself. 

I couldn't be happier that I made this decision 6 years ago.  Wish I had done it sooner. 

Hugs to you and let us know how you're doing.

Thanks you guys. Did you get the sleeve too? I want to get the spider. I have plans for the normal laporoscopic but the spider looks so much less invasive.

I'm an RNY but as Vivian said, all surgeries are good and all you can out eat.  I wanted my life back.  I was 61 and getting less and less mobile.  It is a lifelong challenge to keep the weight off but now I have a fighting chance instead of all the trials and not getting anywhere, to just gain more back.  Yes, I would like to be 5 pounds lighter, but it is better than I was when I needed to be 120 lbs lighter. 

Hugs to you.    You can do this.

Prayers and (((HUGS))) being sent out for you! 

I'm glad you are getting some counseling.  I know for myself I had a lot of questions before WLS and and I was very emotional for a couple of weeks afterwards. But at 6 years out I can honestly say that my decision to have WLS has been the best decision I have ever made for myself emotionally and physically.

No matter what surgery you choose you have to follow all of the rules and be willing to educate yourself on your particular surgery.  Rule #1 to be successful is DO NOT CHEAT DURING THE HONEYMOON PERIOD!!!  Many of those who have gained their weight back were naive during the Honeymoon Period. YES during the honeymoon period our different surgeries will help you control how much you eat and the weight will come off fairly easy BUT during that time if they include carbs, sweets, and drinks that they ate before WLS  chances ARE they are going to gain during Maintenance because they haven't got rid of those bad habits.   Any surgery can be eaten around but that won't make you successful. 

PLEASE don't throw in the towel!!  We will be here to answer any questions you might have and if you just want to share your feelings we are here for that too!!!

If you want to read more on the DS to help you make a decision and to help with a reputable DS surgeon in Mex, read on www.dsfacts.com.  I'm over 7 years post-op DS and have not had any issues. I am very careful with vitamins and labs. I follow Vitalady's plan and have great labs.

--gina