Easter is my first post surgery holiday

And I have mixed emotions...I think I "got this" but in my former life, you know, the one pre-dumping syndrome, I LOVED candy.  Easter was my favorite because so many things you don't get the rest of the year were special treats.  I have avoided all that in the shops and been very, very good.  I've not had one single bite of any sort of cookie or candy since my surgery. But, and this here is a big but...

I just found out yesterday that Easter Sunday Dinner is happening as always at my moms (there has been question do to some family issues) and my mom usually makes us all an Easter basket.  They do not know I had surgery.  They will never know if I can help it.  There is a real struggle for me with my mom.  My mother wears a size 0.  She is very, very, very conscious of my weight and in her passive-aggressive way has caused me great pain over the years emotionally.  The thing she is brilliant at is making it clear you need to lose weight and when you start to, she then wants to constantly offer you "can you have this?" or "oh a few won't hurt you, everyone needs a treat!" 

I saw her yesterday for the first time since my surgery in Feb.  I went to see my parents the day before for my own piece of mind before I went under the knife, and I shared with them that I had gotten back on the wagon and was working on losing weight...so yesterday 32 lbs less than the last time she saw me, my mother said when she first say me "you're looking pretty good, I can tell you've lost a little weight" GRRRRRRRRRRR  I love her, and I know she loves me but each time I go through this, I realize again and again why I have had such an emotional struggle with my body all these years.   Wow, ok, this post turned out a lot more personal than I originally intended, sorry for the TMI and the length 

My Mother was the same way. Didn't really struggle with her weight like me and my Dad did. 

Unfortunately we will have sabatogers amongst us.  Stay strong - she sees you've been successful so far and don't let her passive/aggressive behavior get to you or make you do things you'll be sorry for later.  Just tell her how proud you are of yourself for sticking to your "diet" this one more time and because of that you have no desire to cheat. 

This weight loss journey IS a very personal thing for all of us.  We gained weight for different reasons, and need to get it off for different reasons.  Most of us want our health back, for us AND our families. 

Stay strong and let us know how it went!

ps - my family knew about my surgery, so when I ate very little they didn't even comment on it.  They also knew I wouldn't tolerate any sabatoging of me either. 

I say stay strong and take the Easter Basket with a smile and throw it ALL in the trash on your way home.  I have done this with other things I was forced to accept and then did what needed to be done for my own sanity/health whatever.  Leave it on a street corner for someone, lock it in the trunk of your car, whatever you need to do.  I just had a major shockwave event with my own passive aggressive father and for the first time in our relationship I called him out on his behaviour.  I said what needed to be said and then I let it go.  No grudge, no bad feelings stewing inside, no eating the emotions down.  It is the best NSV I could ever have.  I share it with you so you know that even though it seems unlikely you will share your surgery with your Mother - you may at some point feel strong enough to to call her out on what bugs you, or do like a duck and let her negativity roll off like water on a ducks back.  

Good luck - I hope it goes well for you despite the anxiety of the visit.

32 pounds down....That's Awesome!!!!!!!! 

I told my family and friends....heck I tell strangers (I'm not good with compliments) but I understand your need not to share this.  Since I told my family you would have thought they would understand when I didn't eat or if I felt sick when I had something that I shouldn't have but they didn't.  It's always the people you care about that can hurt us the most.  I got little support, little encouragement and few compliments from my very loving family.  That's why at 5.5 years out I still post on the LW board every day.  This is where I can share, vent, cry, complain, or encourage others because we ALL understand.

As far as the candy goes fight the temptation to have a piece.  If for some odd chance you don't dump you will want another piece and so on. Tried to avoid sweets and carbs as long as you can!  Locking it in the trunk is a Great idea!  I just read that this week on a site I was reading.  Think of someone special that you can give it too and then get rid of it quick!  If your Mom uses the same basket every year (like I do) then put it in a ziploc bag and then pitch it out on your way home or give it away.

Thank you all so much!  I really appreciate the support.  As you said Roz here is really the only place I feel safe to talk about my surgery.  My family wouldn't understand ,they wouldnt' support me and they would certainly judge me.  I just don't need to give them anymore ammo.  I am glad I can come here and celebrate what to others wouldn't be much of a victory and share the pain and difficulty too.  All of you are wonderful and I'm very glad I found you!  

I will not eat a piece of candy.  Again, as Roz said, my intention is to live my life as though I dump and never find out for sure if I do!  That is the PLAN anywy,  no one knows how they will live in the future but for now my resolve is very strong and I will not touch it.  I am more worried about one of my sisters.  She is worse than mom as far as being a fat hater.  BUT she refuses to accept it when you won't eat something she cooked.  She is a baker an does make wonderful things. It is her "claim to fame" However if it comes down to it and she starts making a scene I have already decided I will tell her that I have discovered I am diabetic.  I know it's a lie but it's for my sanity so I don't feel bad about it! 

Thanks again you guys and I'll let you know how it goes. Hope everyone else has a fantastic holiday with no stress!