A Conversation I had...

On Saturday I went to a consult with a plastic surgeon for skin removal on my upper eyelids.  Insurance already has deemed it medical necessary and I went in for a pre-op visit.  No date set yet though...

Ok - about the conversation.  I sat in the waiting room for a long time and 2 other ladies came in.  One went to the desk and said something about pre-op surgery visit.  I'm not sure why the other lady was there with her, but they seemed to be friends (maybe sisters).

Of course my curiosity got the better of me and I asked "what kind of surgery are you having"?  She said a panniculectomy.  Then she went to explain that both she and her friend had had gastric bypass.  Both of them were about a year out.  The one that I was mainly talking to was still quite large - but you could see how a panni would definitely benefit her as it was impeding her mobility. I "think" she said she has lost 200+ lbs already.   The other one chimed in on the conversation but I didn't get how much she has lost.   

This is what I got from it:

1.  They didn't know the difference between a simple vs a complex carb.  I explained to them the difference and how the body processes them. 

2.  They wondered how I took my vitamins if I couldn't swallow pills.

3.  Asked if I drank with my meals

4.  Asked me about alcohol

5.  I was asked why they did surgery on me since I wasn't "big" enough to have surgery starting at 218... Then I explained I was Morbidly Obese and 5'3"...Ooooo - the light bulb came on.

6.  They've never heard of Reactive Hypoglycemia.

7.  They asked me how I knew so much... I explained from "OH"...  One lady had "heard" of OH the other never had.

8.  I was told I looked like I was never heavy (I've heard that a few times before).  In fact, the smaller lady said it 3 times... They made me stand up so they could take a good look at me... LOL... and I was bemoaning about putting on some weight. 

9.  I explained I eat "normal" now.. I got a horrified look from one of the ladies - I had to laugh - I said "not like pre-op but like we should be"...  basically if I go out to eat folks can't tell I had WLS by the AMOUNT I eat... there are some days my pouch clamps down, but I rarely finish my food anyway and never get questioned now.  Often I'll order just a "cup of soup" when out and I do get a "is that all you're having" from the waiter... yep!

Unfortunately I got called back into the room and would have LOVED to continue the conversation, but I didn't see them again.

I wanted to ask them where they had their surgery and who their support group was.  It seemed through the entire conversation they were hanging on every word I said and had the "deer in the headlights" look.  I was definitely getting the idea they DIDN'T have support... I did try to put myself in their place when I was just 1 year out - as far as my knowledge goes... and I KNOW I didn't know all that much then... 

It scares me a little because these are the kind of folks who have no support and no idea how to go into Maintenance. They'll think they can continue eating small portions their entire life and when they don't... 

Just wanted to share what I came across and reinforce in EVERYONE the importance of support.  Not only is support to keep you on the right track - but it's for EDUCATION along the way and you will learn SO much!  I have many folks on these boards that contributed to my knowledge over the years. We all need to be proactive for ourselves - the more we know the more successful we will be.  And - it doesn't all happen overnight.  Many think once the weight is off - their journey is done and they know everything they need to know... and that is only the beginning.

 

It does amaze me at how little some folks know or understand about what WLS is all about.  We see it so often here.  Folks are ill prepared and then not supported.  They think reaching goal is the end of the journey and it is actually the beginning. 

Thanks for helping awaken those ladies.  Maybe they will check out OH.  It has been my support all along the way, although I did have an excellent group when it came to the pre-op prep and early post op prep.  I guess they do a good job of later  post op too but since they are 1.5 hr away, I don't go.

It is scary out there. Some folks never make the connection between support and success. It's sad.

--gina

Wow! I realize how supportive my medical team has been now. I researched so much before making my decision for WLS. I continue to participate in support groups locally, online and here at OH. What a blessing you must have been during the conversation.

I just hope that maybe it made them think of questions to ask their NUT or Dr... if they do...

 

I hope they are taking vitamins and doing blood work.  It is scary how some never have the aftercare that they need. 

This is my only support and it has helped me so much.  I feel like the month of January I fall off the face of the earth because of work, but I keep trying to hang on here because I know how important it is to me.  The losing part was so easy compared to now...

 

This kind of makes me think of myself.  There is so much I DON'T know.  And I get such conflicting information from my DR. AND NUT.....Example:  I am 21 months post op and My NUT told me last week that I should not be eating more than 1/4 of a cup of food at a time.   Its just all so confusing.  JODY I want to applaud you for taking the time and energy to share your knowledge.  I would LOVE to sit down with you and pick your brain....lol  But for now I will just continue to LURK.  Ha...

 

 

Thank you!  I think in my case, I didn't have support or NUT from my surgeons office as I had my surgery in VA and moved back to MI, so I didn't have all that conflicting information.  

I got pretty much ALL my info from the folks here and they haven't led me astray!

Now - for what your NUT was saying to the 1/4 cup... at 21 months out that doesn't seem to be enough.. but I know that some recommend that so you don't stretch your pouch too quickly too early.  But then I guess it depends on whether they recommend mini meals throughout the day or only stick to 3 meals a day.  

At 5  years out I can pretty much eat 6 ounces without much of a problem. 

LOVE this post.  It is awful that so many people have not been educated about their surgeries and post op needs.  What is great is that as we know more, we share more.  I feel that many have mentored me (and I have learned so much from you all) and I want to pass that on.  It doesnt mean I know everything but I DAMN well know more than what I have heard my surgeons tell me and our support group. I have had to quietly say several times, NO we need MORE than 1000 grams of calcium a day and YES it needs to be citrate (YUP, false info shared in group by both a surgeon AND our dietician).  They do not mean to mislead but they do.  Thanks for sharing Jody!!!

 

~~Jennifer

ANOTHER new revelation......Do I need more than 1000 grams of Calcium?????  I am taking Calcet Creamy bites x 2 a day.  My only concern is the amount of Carbs in them  each one contains 5 carbs.....